View Full Version : Mr Vice!!!!
I was informed today that I will be Mr Vice at this years Christmas dine in. and have come to ask, has anyone ever done this duty? And can I get some advice on performing this duty? I would ask questions, but I truly don't even know where to start.
ghp95134
11-17-2013, 19:39
I was Mr. Vice in 1981. The commander 2/503 Inf (101st ABN AASLT) wished to have a combined regimental dining in; I was the junior lieutenant in the battalion so the task fell to me. I coordinated with our sister battalion (1/503) and might have invited the "step-sister" battalion commander of the 3/187 (Rakkasan) ... but I don't remember. I was fortunate in that a still-living company commander of the Corregedor jump lived in the vicinity (retired colonel), so we invited him as our Guest of Honor.
[As I fuzzily recall, a Dining-In is male only, and Dining-Out the ladies attend ... so a Dining Out showed a bit more propriety.]
Borrowed the prop blast helmet and other 503rd-related items from the post museum.
Had invitations and place cards printed with the regimental crest -- and I calligraphed everybody's name (I do not recommend this!).
It is also advisable to have a seating chart made up ... but be advised that people will change their seating cards!
The big deal was ensuring there was enough wine and cigars per person, in addition to good food. And make sure the Port tastes good -- I did NOT sample the port before buying it and it was not good.
A bottle of single-malt Glenlivet (or Glenfiddich, I forget) scotch was obtained for the piper.
My memory is a bit fuzzy because I was totally blitzed before the middle of the event. Members of the mess could address to Mr. Vice any breach [or perceived breach ... or invented breach ] of protocol; Mr. Vice had to assign the fine, drink, etc. If unsuccessful, Mr. Vice had to drink from the prop-blast bowl. I do remember that I was wearing mess dress with white tie and waistcoat; everybody else was to wear black tie (Mess Dress, Dress Blues, or Greens if lower enlisted).
Less-see ... before the meal was served, a plate was taken to Mr. Vice to sample, then state: "I proclaim this meal is fit for human consumption." Same with the wine.
Hmmmmmm .... some how there were other events (racing tricycles around the mess), drinking penalty shots from the prop-blast bowl, and other things which I no longer remember.
I do recall that the room set-up was with the head table, side tables, and Mr. Vice sat alone on an elevated platform in the middle of the room, opposite the head table.
Color Guard advanced the colors and placed them behind the head table. The battalion chaplain gave the benediction; the Guest of Honor was introduced; GoH's address; then dinner. As I recall, the piper piped around the mess a few tunes then was presented with a quaich of whiskey, after which the bottle was given to him.
Dinner was then served. After dinner, Mr. Vice obtained permission from the President of the Mess to light the smoking lamp, and for gentlemen to remove their blouses (cue for "fun and games").
TAKE CARE OF THE TROOPS who support -- the Color Guard, piper, ushers, etc. should be provided the same meal in a separate dining area.
It will be important to have a method of checking vehicle keys prior to the evening, and only if the member is sober may he receive his keys to drive home. If in no condition, he must have either a designated driver or take a taxi home. Errant keys could be picked up the following work day from the battalion orderly room.
Oh! It is important to establish that any drinks other than the dinner wine and port will be paid by the individual member. I failed to grasp that people would abuse the system! As it is, my company commander cost me an additional $120 from my wallet.
I wish Al Gore had invented the internet in 1981 ....!! Since we'd never had one before, I patterned ours along the Black Watch and Para Regiments. I wrote to both regiments and received a kind response along with copies of their Mess Rules.
West Point Guide (www.usma.edu/dca/.../Military%20Dining/MilitaryDiningInGuide.doc).
British Rules (http://regimentalrogue.com/srsub/mess_dinners.htm)
Oh .... and no matter how snockered you get, do NOT put your arm around your battalion commander and tell him he's "...the best G*dd@mned harda$$ed commander around ... and I think -- no matter what others say -- yer' a great fellah...." [I'm not saying anything else!]
Good luck!
--ghp
Team Sergeant
11-17-2013, 20:52
Good luck!
--ghp
Entire post, LOL.
ghp95134,
Thank you very much for the info.
ghp95134
11-17-2013, 22:31
ghp95134,
Thank you very much for the info.
Periodic sitreps required! (^__^)
--ghp
Red Flag 1
11-18-2013, 11:32
Depending on how things go for you, it could take a few weeks to get your liver enzymes back near normal :).
Best of luck,"Mr. Vice"!
RF 1
UWOA (RIP)
11-18-2013, 11:42
Don't forget the smoking lamp. It must be lit before any smoking materials may be ignited (even though I don't smoke and don't encourage it).
.
I hope you are funny. There is nothing worse than a Mr. Vice who has no sense of humor, or whose jokes fall flat.;)
Also, at least in the AF, you had better pay attention to your grog bowl, and what goes in it.
ghp95134
11-18-2013, 16:18
Hmmmm .... looks like I had a "breach of protocol" in that the West Point Link did not open.
Trying again:
West Point Dining-In Guide (http://www.usma.edu/dca/siteassets/sitepages/military dining/militarydininginguide.doc)
Mr. Vice, what is my fine?
--ghp
Hmmmm .... looks like I had a "breach of protocol" in that the West Point Link did not open.
Trying again:
West Point Dining-In Guide (http://www.usma.edu/dca/siteassets/sitepages/military dining/militarydininginguide.doc)
Mr. Vice, what is my fine?
--ghp
The fine shall be one mug of the grog.
ghp95134
12-27-2013, 22:50
Hey Chance,
Sitrep, over!
--ghp
I haven't forgot, the Christmas dinner date has been moved to the first week of January. :lifter