View Full Version : confession
'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.' The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the ...girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.' "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?" 'I cannot say.' 'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?' 'I'll never tell.' 'Was it Nina Capelli?' 'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.' 'Was it Cathy Piriano?' 'My lips are sealed Father.' 'Well then, was it Rosa DiAngelo?' 'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'
The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.' Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?' 'Four month's vacation and five excellent Leads.':cool:
Pat,
Do you want this one or give it to someone else?
:munchin
Pat,
Do you want this one or give it to someone else?
:munchin
I didn't remember it. I do remember being an alter boy, though, but I was only 9 and 10 at the time. :D
You can have it. ;)
Pat
I do remember being an alter boy, though, but I was only 9 and 10 at the time. :D
You can have it. ;)
Pat
Pussy Green or Snickers and a Coke alter boy ???
:munchin
'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.' The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the ...girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.' "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?" 'I cannot say.' 'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?' 'I'll never tell.' 'Was it Nina Capelli?' 'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.' 'Was it Cathy Piriano?' 'My lips are sealed Father.' 'Well then, was it Rosa DiAngelo?' 'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'
The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.' Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?' 'Four month's vacation and five excellent Leads.
BTW ......
http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1230&highlight=vacation+leads
and
http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=15716&highlight=vacation+leads
;)
Pussy Green or Snickers and a Coke alter boy ???
:munchin
¿Qué?:confused:
Pat
¿Qué?:confused:
Pat
A priest was hearing confessions one afternoon when a man entered and confessed: "Bless me, Father for I have sinned. I slept with Pussy Green."
The priest gave him absolution and told him his pennance and the man went away. The next man entered the confessional and said: "Bless me father for I have sinned, I slept with Pussy Green."
The priest thought about this coincidence, dismissed it, and gave the man his absolution and pennance.
However, over the course of the afternoon, 10 men confessed to sleeping with Pussy Green. This was very perplexing to the priest. As he was closing up the church later in the afternoon with the help of an alter boy, the priest noticed a woman walking down the church isle.
This woman was all decked out in green - green hat, green boots, green dress, green hand-bag.
The priest turned and asked to alterboy, "Is that Pussy Green?"
The alterboy looked and replied, "I don't think so, Father, I think it is just a reflection off her boots."
orrrrRRRRRRrrrrr .......
In a small cathedral, a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the priest.
The priest asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me? I really have to go to the bathroom and Widow McGee is coming. She tends to go on and on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done, just give her 10 Hail Marys. I'll be right back."
Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed. Just as expected, Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession.
"Oh Father, I fear I have done the unforgivable," she said. "I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex."
Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation—surely 10 Hail Marys would not do. So in a moment of desperation, the janitor peeked his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, "Son, what does the priest give for oral sex?"
The altar boy replied, "Oh that's easy, Snickers and a Coke."
;)
The priest turned and asked to alterboy, "Is that Pussy Green?"
The alterboy looked and replied, "I don't think so, Father, I think it is just a reflection off her boots."
orrrrRRRRRRrrrrr .......
"Son, what does the priest give for oral sex?"
The altar boy replied, "Oh that's easy, Snickers and a Coke."
;)
Neither, then. At that age I thought pussy was a cat and the gay priests didn't show up until it became a popular way to dodge the draft during the Vietnam War.
Pat