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alelks
06-16-2013, 13:37
Sensitivity Training for Men:

* I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair; but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam,and we're stoning her in the morning

* The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did. She's 25, and her name's Kathy.

* Went to our local bar with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 24 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.

* My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's three schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."

* The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.

* A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says, "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"

* My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.

* The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan . I said we'd love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.

Cobwebs
06-16-2013, 14:09
I read every joke to my wife...she said there is something seriously wrong with you...think she was talking to both of us..:D:D:D Excellent stuff..10 outta 10

PRB
06-16-2013, 14:23
2 thumbs up

SF_BHT
06-16-2013, 15:58
Great and needed some humor today...

TrapperFrank
06-17-2013, 06:31
I am reminded of the following: What is the quickest way to a woman's heart? A six inch knife through the breast plate.

Roguish Lawyer
06-17-2013, 08:38
LMAO

SF18C
06-17-2013, 09:15
* The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did. She's 25, and her name's Kathy.


FYI...that can be very expenisve!

Trapper John
06-17-2013, 10:36
Funny Stuff :D:D

Just sent these to the XO. We'll see if she changes the locks before I get home. :eek:

uspsmark
06-17-2013, 10:51
Funny Stuff :D:D

Just sent these to the XO. We'll see if she changes the locks before I get home. :eek:

Pretty good thread on lock picking on here, just in case! :D

Lock Picking (http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=34207&highlight=lock+picking)

Stobey
06-17-2013, 23:09
Sensitivity Training for Men:

* The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan . I said we'd love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.

Frankly, I thought they were ALL funny; but I nearly had an "accident" with the last one! LOL ;o}