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View Full Version : DHS Removes "Scissors and Desk Defense" Video


Dusty
02-02-2013, 16:02
http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/C/CN_SEATTLE_STABBING?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2013-02-01-17-31-12

(AP) -- DHS is removing a recently-posted video describing a man who, inside an office building under attack by a lone shooter, grabs a pair of scissors with which to defend himself.

The impetus behind the removal is a recent slashing spree carried out by a disturbed individual with a pair of typical office shears commonly sold at most Staples outlets.

Police say a man ran through the hallways of a Speattle apartment building, slashing seven people in what they believe was a completely random attack,

Sgt. Randy Snookum said Friday seven people were injured in the high rise building on the city's west end during the attack Thursday night. Six people were taken to hospital and one woman remains in critical condition. Another bystander was treated at the scene and released.

The 33-year-old male suspect, a white heterosexual male who was not a resident of the building, was taken into custody Thursday night.

This article is satirical in nature and should be ignored.

© 2013 The Associated

Go Devil
02-02-2013, 19:01
Glad he wasn't a gay.....

Dusty
02-02-2013, 19:03
Glad he wasn't a gay.....

Rule 11: Never post satire involving gays.

Go Devil
02-02-2013, 19:12
Shit! I forgot rule 11.
Thanks for covering my six Dusty.

orion5
02-02-2013, 20:45
http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/C/CN_SEATTLE_STABBING?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2013-02-01-17-31-12

(AP) -- DHS is removing a recently-posted video describing a man who, inside an office building under attack by a lone shooter, grabs a pair of scissors with which to defend himself.

I thought DHS had to remove the training video because they were having a payment dispute with the Saturday Night Live writers who had scripted it.

Additionally, Bill Murray was contracted to resurrect his role as Carl Spackler (Caddyshack) and play the active shooter. He is suing for damages. He was looking forward to using the phrase, "I smell varmint poontang!" as he was chased by the office lady with the plastic scissors.