NousDefionsDoc
02-05-2004, 22:24
So, I'm married to the gringa Creature from Hell, but I'm on the best A Team in 7th Group (which actually means best A Team in Special Forces). So some brothers from 5th group go down in a helo and we volunteer to do a HALO demo at the Bronze Bruce Plaza in their honor. GO the Sky God cum Team Sergeant says "You do med coverage."
"But I want to jump, let somebody else be the medic."
"We've got a guy that's never jumped a demo before, you're my medic and I want you on the DZ."
You don't argue with GO the Sky God. "Roger that TS."
So I go home and the Hell Spawn's youngest child is there bored out of his mind. He's about 6. I really liked him other than the fact that he seemed fond of her.
So I think "Well, maybe he'd like to watch the jump." Off we go.
I set up the DZ. They put the state flags in the little concrete holders (there's 50 of them). I look around and it seems like there is a lot more brass there than normal. Well, it seems Senator Ted Kennedy decided to grace us with his attendance. Secret Service and brass out the ying yang. I call GO on the radio. "Do not screw this up."
So me and little Mikey are standing there and General Suchnow (sp) walks up and is standing right next to us, trying to listen on the radio. Did I mention the little guy had Tourette's Syndrome?
So, I green light the thing - out they come - the Mighty Skydivers of 754. Looking good, smokes workin', everybody's oohing and aahing. BOOM! Five good canopies. Wait! Somebody jumped Old Glory in their risers, that wasn't in the program! Ah well, the TS knows what he's doing. So they get on final, beautiful stack. TS comes in, one step and salutes. Two, three, four. Flag boy is having a little trouble. He was PB, the Engineer - first demo jump, first jump in the Postage Stamp Plaza, first jump with the flag, which is now steering him AND the MT1XX like a rudder.
He starts to get a little nervous (panic) and seesaws the brakes, which only makes it worse. He's not looking good! NDD reaches down and moves the aid bag a little closer. Women are shielding their children's eyes to avoid pending disaster! NDD begins unzipping the aid bag. I hear somebody say "Man, I'm glad I'm not the medic, he's going to have his hands full!"
Here he comes! He's going to make it! Wait! He's screwed! BAM! Right into the flags, somewhere between New Mexico and North Dakota! First thing to hit the concrete was his clenched right fist, still holding the brake line. Crash and Burn of the first order!
So NDD, being the quintessential Team Player, waits for a minute to see if SFC Crash Burn going to be able to get up and finish the demo. Just about the time he smashed into the concrete, Mikey, did I mention he had Tourrete's Syndrome?, Screams out at the top of his lungs "SHIT!"
Your intrepid hero NDD Super Medic, realizes that the child was standing right next to a General Officer when said outburst occured. Not to mention Senator Kennedy, in accordance with Murphy's Law, had to have been within hearing distance. Incident changed METT-T immediately from saving down Teammate and good friend to saving career.
I turned around just in time to hear the good General lean down to Mikey and say "You're absolutely right son, that's exactly what that last jumper looked like." All was well. Teammate was ok and I remembered why I went SF.
"But I want to jump, let somebody else be the medic."
"We've got a guy that's never jumped a demo before, you're my medic and I want you on the DZ."
You don't argue with GO the Sky God. "Roger that TS."
So I go home and the Hell Spawn's youngest child is there bored out of his mind. He's about 6. I really liked him other than the fact that he seemed fond of her.
So I think "Well, maybe he'd like to watch the jump." Off we go.
I set up the DZ. They put the state flags in the little concrete holders (there's 50 of them). I look around and it seems like there is a lot more brass there than normal. Well, it seems Senator Ted Kennedy decided to grace us with his attendance. Secret Service and brass out the ying yang. I call GO on the radio. "Do not screw this up."
So me and little Mikey are standing there and General Suchnow (sp) walks up and is standing right next to us, trying to listen on the radio. Did I mention the little guy had Tourette's Syndrome?
So, I green light the thing - out they come - the Mighty Skydivers of 754. Looking good, smokes workin', everybody's oohing and aahing. BOOM! Five good canopies. Wait! Somebody jumped Old Glory in their risers, that wasn't in the program! Ah well, the TS knows what he's doing. So they get on final, beautiful stack. TS comes in, one step and salutes. Two, three, four. Flag boy is having a little trouble. He was PB, the Engineer - first demo jump, first jump in the Postage Stamp Plaza, first jump with the flag, which is now steering him AND the MT1XX like a rudder.
He starts to get a little nervous (panic) and seesaws the brakes, which only makes it worse. He's not looking good! NDD reaches down and moves the aid bag a little closer. Women are shielding their children's eyes to avoid pending disaster! NDD begins unzipping the aid bag. I hear somebody say "Man, I'm glad I'm not the medic, he's going to have his hands full!"
Here he comes! He's going to make it! Wait! He's screwed! BAM! Right into the flags, somewhere between New Mexico and North Dakota! First thing to hit the concrete was his clenched right fist, still holding the brake line. Crash and Burn of the first order!
So NDD, being the quintessential Team Player, waits for a minute to see if SFC Crash Burn going to be able to get up and finish the demo. Just about the time he smashed into the concrete, Mikey, did I mention he had Tourrete's Syndrome?, Screams out at the top of his lungs "SHIT!"
Your intrepid hero NDD Super Medic, realizes that the child was standing right next to a General Officer when said outburst occured. Not to mention Senator Kennedy, in accordance with Murphy's Law, had to have been within hearing distance. Incident changed METT-T immediately from saving down Teammate and good friend to saving career.
I turned around just in time to hear the good General lean down to Mikey and say "You're absolutely right son, that's exactly what that last jumper looked like." All was well. Teammate was ok and I remembered why I went SF.