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Pete
07-08-2012, 06:08
TSA & Cheese

Well, the dickhead at the Rochester, MN airport saved the world from my Cheese.

After flying out there for a few days I had picked up three small containers of Cheese to bring home - yes they were bigger than 3.5 oz each.

I reviewed the regs here - http://www.tsa.gov/travelers/airtravel/prohibited/permitted-prohibited-items.shtm - and didn't see where the Cheese fit any of the prohibited sections so I put in in my carry on. (This was the closest I could find and didn't think cheese fit the description - "Non-flammable liquid, gel, or aerosol paint")

Well, you should have been there when my bag went through the X-Ray machine. It was grabbed, I was told to follow the agent, stand right there, don't try to reach my bag, why didn't I declare the suspicious items, "I'm like "what items?", the inside of my bag is wiped down, stuck in the chemical detector, and the little dick head starts with the snotty attitude lecture "didn't you here the announcement about no liquids or gels? Blag, blag, blag" - I said "this is cheese - still sealed - it's not a liquid or gel." "Can you put in in your car?" "I got dropped off" "Can you give it to the people who dropped you off?" "They're gone" "Put it in your checked baggage" "I don't have any" "You can check your carry on" "The cheese cost $15 and the airline charges $25 to check a bag" "Do you want to voluntarily surrender the cheese?" "And if I don't" "You don't get on the plane" "Can I see the supervisor?" "I am the supervisor" - I had been wondering why there were 8 TSA employees sitting there when I walked up. "Take the cheese" "Thank you" "Enjoy the cheese" "We throw it away".

Saw a Muslim family in Chicago coming in through TSA screening. The kids were crying and the woman was standing there with her hands out with the deer in the headlight look and the TSA agent was wiping down her hands. Felt like walking up to her and saying "Don't feel bad - they took my cheese" but didn't want to get the TSA agents riled up.

Other than that I had a great trip.

SF_BHT
07-08-2012, 06:21
Their mindless stupidity is why I have cut down my commercial travel. Thank god we have a plane to move me around for work. I spent 1 hr 45 min to get through TSA yesterday. I would not be mad but there were only 22 people in front of me. They were more occupied in socializing than moving the American public through. I feel your pain. The Muslim woman does not bother me she can blame her fellow muslims for her family's discomfort.

Badger52
07-08-2012, 07:22
I don't know that you'd have had a different experience flying out of Milwaukee but they probably see more cheese comin' through, outbound...
F'n retards.

This is what happens when thuggery becomes de rigeur, people will quit drawing a line in the sand because they have something you want - letting you board your plane.

Ambush Master
07-08-2012, 07:23
TSA = Thousands Standing/Sitting Around!!

Badger52
07-08-2012, 07:42
Catching up & seeing the tin-foil thread over the "UN arms treaty" I note this prescient comment from QP Pete (http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/forums/showpost.php?p=398333&postcount=12) over a year ago.

Remember when we used to have property rights?
:mad:

BigJimCalhoun
07-08-2012, 08:06
I always chose to opt-out of the new full-body scanners. I make them give me a pat-down which is somewhat inconvenient for them.

Pete
07-08-2012, 08:28
I always chose to opt-out of the new full-body scanners. I make them give me a pat-down which is somewhat inconvenient for them.

I don't want those "hands of blue" that have been everywhere patting me down.

Sarski
07-08-2012, 08:53
Totally ridicilous.

Well, you are probably on that list, and have that Army SF school that instructs attendees how to take over and divert an airliner with a block of cheese.

And then when they saw not one, not two, but THREE blocks of cheese in your carry on...well, I am just surprised you were not arrested / detained / interrogated...as well.

Sdiver
07-08-2012, 09:03
Well Pete,

Seeing what happened to Terre' Haute, Indiana ..... I can understand them taking your cheese.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPpa5anHKfM

.... and it's such a shame too .... they were about to get a public library.

:munchin

Richard
07-08-2012, 10:10
TSA is the agent's 'day job' - he works for a rival cheese company at night and gets a stipend for 'diverting' other companies' products to the trash bin...

...more likely...

...probably thinks the 'C' in C4 stands for cheese. ;)

And so it goes...

Richard :munchin

Team Sergeant
07-08-2012, 10:14
Pete we should be "thankful" the Transportation Security Administration has not yet labeled & banned "Green Berets" from flying.

(I'm still trying to figure out how to kill someone with a nail clipper)

Pete
07-08-2012, 10:30
Pete we should be "thankful" the Transportation Security Administration has not yet labeled & banned "Green Berets" from flying.

(I'm still trying to figure out how to kill someone with a nail clipper)

IIRC that is Technique # 139 listed on page 48 in the Secret Hand to Hand Kill Manual. It's the last and only technique on that page. Most miss it because it's the only clipper technique in the chapter on toiletry items. They turn the page and jump right into Chapter 4 - Office supplies - missing the clippers.

neecheepure
07-08-2012, 10:40
Pete, your first line in your post cracked me up; sorry about the cheese, but thanks for the laugh!

South Park recently did up the TSA, not their best work, but worth watching; they nailed the bastards.

My plan for a run in with the full body scanner, next time I'm having an off day; a tinsel bow hidden to all eyes except for those of the full body scanner, tied around my equipment. Only fear is they might subject me to retaliatory probing.

Badger52
07-08-2012, 10:56
If the answer busts OPSEC OK, but is it possible they're on the alert because of the surrogates you've used in the illicit movement of gel-like substances? (http://maboulette.wordpress.com/2011/12/26/tsa-confiscates-womans-frosted-cupcake/) Was this person really one of your 'mules' making a test-run?.

That's probably why they've learned so much in the last 5 years (http://joeberkovitz.com/blog/2007/11/30/the-tsa-has-determined-that-my-cheese-is-not-explosive/), but it's the reason the phrase "stuck on stupid" retains its validity.

MR2
07-08-2012, 11:40
Pete we should be "thankful" the Transportation Security Administration has not yet labeled & banned "Green Berets" from flying.

That would be profiling. Racial profiling at that! What about the Blacks, Browns, and Reds - the ACLU would be all over them for that...

I really don't have a problem with berets, it's those damn silly caps I object to.

(I'm still trying to figure out how to kill someone with a nail clipper)

I'm sure that Cheesy Pete was planning to hide a nail clipper in the cheese and feed it to the unsuspecting victim...

Seriously, I was told by a pilot that he was once part of the armed pilot program, but he was still prohibited from bringing more than 3.4 oz. of toothpaste on board the aircraft.

Badger52
07-09-2012, 10:17
Follow-up: Peace-officer type friend across the river in Rochester who I shoot with sometimes sent one of the cars out to airport under discussion and engaged (one of many) TSA "supervisors" out there. That supervisor reports that his shift would've allowed it, regardless of ounces, as long as it did fit in the carry-on (inconsistent with TSA's own published rules Pete already posted). Further, based on appearance, the bag might've been swabbed to detect any residue, but the cheesy spoils of the trip would've been allowed to board & head home just as they arrived at the airport.

It just wasn't a good day for the good guys I guess.

* Aerosol Cheese-Whiz is a non-starter & goes in the can.

akv
07-09-2012, 10:31
Pete,

Sorry to hear about the cheese.

At least at SFO it's likely the local TSA staff confiscates a good amount of cheese, chocolate, and cookies...

Pete
07-09-2012, 11:04
Follow-up: Peace-officer type friend across the river in Rochester who I shoot with sometimes sent one of the cars out to airport under discussion and engaged (one of many) TSA "supervisors" out there. .....

Thanks for the update.......

Still wondering how the TSA goes from liquid, gel - to cheese.

Must have been the same agent who did my Mom up a couple of years ago. She had an expensive hand cream that she really liked so she got the 3.5 oz to be legal - and that's a small container. Anyway the TSA agent opened it, stuck a stick in it, stirred it around and then threw it away - taking half the cream with it. And that ticked her off.

Next trip up I might need to head over to La Crosse for a beer.

Sdiver
07-09-2012, 11:50
Pete we should be "thankful" the Transportation Security Administration has not yet labeled & banned "Green Berets" from flying.

Yeah right ..... when pigs fly.

Oh wait ....... :eek:

:munchin

Badger52
07-09-2012, 12:23
Thanks for the update.......

Still wondering how the TSA goes from liquid, gel - to cheese.1:1 encounters often suggest they don't seem to have much for hiring criteria, probably a reach to expect much in terms of a repeatable process.

Pete: OK, pal, why the atomic scanner & the surgical gloves? Why are you carrying the wand?
Cheeser: I'm a TSA gate agent.
Pete: Alright. Just remember what we talked about now.
[Pete walks away]
Cheeser: Hey, wait a minute! What the hell kind of passengers you got in this damn city? You just turned your back on... uh... an important person!
Pete: You're a TSA gate agent.
Cheeser: How do you know that? I just told you that.
Pete: Who would claim to be that, who was not? Hmm?

Pete
07-09-2012, 13:15
Short Round is 12 so this was an interesting trip for her.

Going out of RDU she had a large bag of Baby Ruth candy bars in her carry on. That went right through the scanner no problem. Since she was 12 she didn't have to take her sandals off.

Coming back in the Rochester airport she had a thin straw hat with a brim mainly in the front - and mostly holes. She had to put the hat through the X-ray machine but since she was 12 she still didn't have to take off her shoes.

So she asked "How come the hat but not the shoes?" "Hey girl, it's the TSA."

My hat - they let me wear it at RDU but send it through the machine in Rochester.