View Full Version : FBI agent 1 pushup short
Last hard class
04-10-2012, 20:49
This guy would have hated jump school.
39, 39, 39, 39, 40, 41,41,41...:D
http://now.msn.com/now/0410-one-pushup-short-of-fbi-agent.aspx
LHC
MTN Medic
04-10-2012, 20:57
29 pushups? He should be sued to make him give back his man card; which he obviously stole. You know what? Maybe he should pass, because women only need 14 push-ups....
What was the other fitness test he aced? Water aerobics with dora the explorer floaties on? :boohoo
mark46th
04-10-2012, 21:29
If you break a sweat doing 100 with your ruck on your back and an A-6 across your knuckles, time to reconsider....
He passed sucking a golf ball through a garden hose. In a way I agree with him. The women should be held to the same standard, 30 push ups not 14 but still this candy ass knew the standard and missed it.
I agree.... not sure what his argument is. Do you think his lawsuit alleges that 30 is too many, and the women are the only ones getting a fair shake? Or that the women get "special treatment" on the 14 push ups?
I don't think either argument helps him a bit. Even if the ladies are getting a bennie on push ups, he didn't meet the standard. And if he is arguing that 14 is the standard, and 30 is SOOOOOO not fair......... I think he will get laughed right out of the courtroom. They aren't going to lower the standard for dudes, and they sure as hell won't raise it for the women. Waste of time.
This guy would have hated jump school.
39, 39, 39, 39, 40, 41,41,41...:D
http://now.msn.com/now/0410-one-pushup-short-of-fbi-agent.aspx
LHC
Ha! :munchin
Maybe throw in a "start over" or two...
Bauer?
Bauer?
'Ol Jack is going to sneak - Hell, just walk up to him and grab his Man Card.
Tell the guy to do what seems to be the norm around here if you're overweight and too unfit to join something like the FBI or DPS - you either become a Deputy Sheriff, a Constable, a school district safety officer, or a mall cop.
And so it goes...
Richard :munchin
Tell the guy to do what seems to be the norm around here if you're overweight and too unfit to join something like the FBI or DPS - you either become a Deputy Sheriff, a Constable, a school district safety officer, or a mall cop.
And so it goes...
Richard :munchin
Or go into politics.
Destrier
04-11-2012, 06:54
Hand him a soccer trophy and tell him to move out.
dr. mabuse
04-11-2012, 09:12
He couldn't do 30 untimed pushups? He couldn't lay on the floor for 5-7 seconds and then bump out the last one or two? Maybe he didn't really want it and then he gets a lawyer.
Perhaps my 16 yo said it best. " Wow. What a retard."
dr. mabuse
04-11-2012, 09:15
Tell the guy to do what seems to be the norm around here if you're overweight and too unfit to join something like the FBI or DPS - you either become a Deputy Sheriff, a Constable, a school district safety officer, or a mall cop.
And so it goes...
Richard :munchin
There are more than a few young LEO's in the Dallas area waddling around as of late.
greenberetTFS
04-11-2012, 09:28
If you break a sweat doing 100 with your ruck on your back and an A-6 across your knuckles, time to reconsider....
:D :D :D
Big Teddy :munchin
You ought to see our local Motorcycle cop...looks like the Michelin man...his helmet looks like a skull cap....I'm embarrased for him.
Tell the guy to do what seems to be the norm around here if you're overweight and too unfit to join something like the FBI or DPS - you either become a Deputy Sheriff, a Constable, a school district safety officer, or a mall cop.
And so it goes...
Richard :munchin
Maybe someone can get him one of those pizza boxes with the TSA help wanted ad, I have heard that they are looking for a few good men. :)
Team Sergeant
04-11-2012, 17:22
:D :D
Originally Posted by mark46th
If you break a sweat doing 100 with your ruck on your back and an A-6 across your knuckles, time to reconsider....
Big Teddy :munchin
I saw you quote that Big Teddy, in your case it would be a trebuchet across you knuckles.....;)
If you break a sweat doing 100 with your ruck on your back and an A-6 across your knuckles, time to reconsider....
I always wondered about that. Anyplace else and the A6 was considered more of a crew served weapon. In Training Group it was treated really more an individual weapon - and Damn, that bitch got heavy about 0300 in a really dark draw with wait-a-minute vines wrapped around the bi-pod.
Suck it up and drive on.
...that bitch got heavy about 0300 in a really dark draw with wait-a-minute vines wrapped around the bi-pod.
Bipod?!? Pintle and tripod is what they gave us. And boy-howdy how that mother fired with the canvas belts. Lot better than the M-60 we had.
Damn, that bitch got heavy about 0300 in a really dark draw with wait-a-minute vines wrapped around the bi-pod.
Suck it up and drive on.
:boohoo
Defense Attorney – And what do you have to say for yourself regarding this requirement that you do 30 pushups in as much time as you need?
Bauer – I was not provided adequate Summer’s Eve the night prior to the physical fitness testing. Additionally, one of my instructors offered to buy the students drinks after training hours at a bar in Quantico the previous night. After 2 appletinis and a Smirnoff Ice Light, I was in no shape at all to test the following morning. I was set up for failure.
Defense Attorney - Are you implying that your lack of vaginal irrigation materials and excessive indulgence in alcohol are what caused your poor performance, and that the FBI training personnel are the ones who should be held responsible?
Bauer – Yes.
Defense Attorney – Tell me, Mr. Bauer, at what age did you realize you were a 6 foot tall male with the testosterone production of a prepubescent female and the strength of 3 undersized toddlers?
Bauer – Excuse me?
Defense Attorney – Oh I apologize, what I meant was at what time before you applied with the FBI did you realize you needed to be in minimally reasonable shape?
Bauer – I’ve known my whole life that FBI agents should be in decent shape.
Defense Attorney – Do you believe you’re in decent shape? Did you know how many pushups were going to be required of you?
Bauer – Yes and yes.
Defense Attorney – So you’ve had your whole life to get in shape for your dream job and when you are fortunate enough to get the chance, you weren’t at all prepared?
Bauer – Well….uuhhhh…
Defense Attorney – The ladies room is over there. You may want to powder your nose and dry your eyes before we continue…
:boohoo
Team Sergeant
04-12-2012, 10:21
Defense Attorney – And what do you have to say for yourself regarding this requirement that you do 30 pushups in as much time as you need?
Bauer – I was not provided adequate Summer’s Eve the night prior to the physical fitness testing. Additionally, one of my instructors offered to buy the students drinks after training hours at a bar in Quantico the previous night. After 2 appletinis and a Smirnoff Ice Light, I was in no shape at all to test the following morning. I was set up for failure.
Defense Attorney - Are you implying that your lack of vaginal irrigation materials and excessive indulgence in alcohol are what caused your poor performance, and that the FBI training personnel are the ones who should be held responsible?
Bauer – Yes.
Defense Attorney – Tell me, Mr. Bauer, at what age did you realize you were a 6 foot tall male with the testosterone production of a prepubescent female and the strength of 3 undersized toddlers?
Bauer – Excuse me?
Defense Attorney – Oh I apologize, what I meant was at what time before you applied with the FBI did you realize you needed to be in minimally reasonable shape?
Bauer – I’ve known my whole life that FBI agents should be in decent shape.
Defense Attorney – Do you believe you’re in decent shape? Did you know how many pushups were going to be required of you?
Bauer – Yes and yes.
Defense Attorney – So you’ve had your whole life to get in shape for your dream job and when you are fortunate enough to get the chance, you weren’t at all prepared?
Bauer – Well….uuhhhh…
Defense Attorney – The ladies room is over there. You may want to powder your nose and dry your eyes before we continue…
:boohoo
A teammate and I "once" came in on a Monday hungover and smelling of booze. The Team Sergeant was not amused. He taught us a very good lesson and took us on a 10 mile run after 100 situps, 100 pushups, 100 squat thrusts, etc etc etc Quitting was not an option. Lesson learned.;)
The sad part about this story is that it is indicative of the current social fiber of the American people......
A teammate and I "once" came in on a Monday hungover and smelling of booze. The Team Sergeant was not amused. He taught us a very good lesson and took us on a 10 mile run after 100 situps, 100 pushups, 100 squat thrusts, etc etc etc Quitting was not an option. Lesson learned.;)
The sad part about this story is that it is indicative of the current social fiber of the American people......
Nothing like some solid PT to help sweat it all out after a night of a few drinks. Two to three hours of sleep prior to PT, and some solid food if lucky, goes a long way. The sweat helps clean out the pores too. :cool:
alright4u
04-12-2012, 15:40
You ought to see our local Motorcycle cop...looks like the Michelin man...his helmet looks like a skull cap....I'm embarrased for him.
I think we can find huge men and women in every profession, now. I have never seen Americans any larger. It seems like it was only about 1999-2000 when I started to notice . I really feel for these young kids getting so large. More time spent outdoors and more exercise would not hurt kids. Was phys ed dumped from schools due to funds?
A teammate and I "once" came in on a Monday hungover and smelling of booze. The Team Sergeant was not amused. He taught us a very good lesson and took us on a 10 mile run after 100 situps, 100 pushups, 100 squat thrusts, etc etc etc Quitting was not an option. Lesson learned.;)
The sad part about this story is that it is indicative of the current social fiber of the American people......
FWIW, I have to agree. I swear all I hear about anymore is people whining about one thing or another, and of course it was someone else's fault and that the government should do something about it.:mad:
Tangental rant - My blood boiled when I saw a show on MTV about sex offenders. A 19 year old man had sex with a 13 or 14 year old girl. To the cameras, and to his attorney, he said "I think it was wrong place wrong time." and that "Well if it's illegal then "they" (who the hell are "they?" Your gov't appointed babysitter?) shouldn't allow 19 and 14 year olds to be around eachother." :mad: As if it's anyone but his own responsibility for messing up so royally. Absolutely unreal. There was once this guy named Personal Responsibility.....but I haven't seen much of him lately.
- Dan P
I think we can find huge men and women in every profession, now. I have never seen Americans any larger. It seems like it was only about 1999-2000 when I started to notice . I really feel for these young kids getting so large. More time spent outdoors and more exercise would not hurt kids. Was phys ed dumped from schools due to funds?
Here is what is interesting to me, and maybe someday someone will decide to research it.
We are a culture where "skinny", at least for women, is one of the most improtant things in judging someone's beauty. I wonder if there is a correlation or causastion that will show the more people are thumped on the head with the "ideal" of beauty, wether that negatively effects how they choose to eat and live their lives, thereby making them heavier than ever before.
I think I have finally gotten over the "hump" with my 14 year old. Since about 5th grade she has known how much bigger she is than the other girls. She is now about 5'10" and weighs about 140. When she went over the 115 mark she freaked because her older sister (who is about 6 inches shorter than her) has never been over 115.
She has come to realize that a) she has my genes, and is going to be over 6 feet tall. NOt eathing isn't going to change that. b) she's an athlete and athletes need to eat. c) the boys actually don't mind if a girl is taller than them
To bring it back to this thread, my daughter can do more pushups than this jackass.:D
I think we can find huge men and women in every profession, now. I have never seen Americans any larger. It seems like it was only about 1999-2000 when I started to notice . I really feel for these young kids getting so large. More time spent outdoors and more exercise would not hurt kids. Was phys ed dumped from schools due to funds?
You're not far from the truth. My wife was a PE Teacher in the great state of Louisiana, but with state budget cuts in education, they decided to dump her over the Spanish Teacher. Granted it was only K - 5th grade, but I feel that would be one of the best times to start setting a pattern for life.
Dozer523
04-14-2012, 09:53
A teammate and I "once" came in on a Monday hungover and smelling of booze. The Team Sergeant was not amused. He taught us a very good lesson and took us on a 10 mile run after 100 situps, 100 pushups, 100 squat thrusts, etc etc etc Quitting was not an option. Lesson learned.;)
The sad part about this story is that it is indicative of the current social fiber of the American people......
Ask the critical question: How much do you want it?
There's only two possible answers: Enough or Not Enough.
There you go.
KimuraFTW
04-14-2012, 12:15
Ask the critical question: How much do you want it?
There's only two possible answers: Enough or Not Enough.
There you go.
For an adult male, you barely have to want it at all to get yourself in shape to do 30 pushups...