View Full Version : Top five list of Stupidest individual military equipment
Had a discussion at work the other day on the stupidest gear the military issued to it's soldiers.
Here is my top five:
Shelter Half: A device that required two personnel to put together, but completely non functional by itself.
Field Jacket: The jacket that neither stopped rain nor actually kept you warm. Of course, made of water absorbing cotton.
VB (Mickey Mouse) Boots: Useless unless pulling guard in -50
Pile Cap: The pile cap is on the list, not because it isn't warm, but because it makes the wearer look completely retarded.
Yellow PT Uniform (aka banana suit): CIF never issued a soldier this uniform in the right size. They were always two sizes too small. Thus, when you had to wear them, the entire formation looked like they had been "shoe-horned" into a full body version of speedo's banana hammock.
Anyone have any addtions to the list or something as. or more, stupid?
miclo18d
04-04-2012, 08:04
L-Angle Flashlight - If you could get it to work, how were you supposed to keep it on your LBE? D-Batteries, Size, luminosity. Awful. I'd rather carry a medieval torch or lantern.
Kyobanim
04-04-2012, 08:10
Had a discussion at work the other day on the stupidest gear the military issued to it's soldiers.
Here is my top five:
Shelter Half: A device that required two personnel to put together, but completely non functional by itself.
Field Jacket: The jacket that neither stopped rain nor actually kept you warm. Of course, made of water absorbing cotton.
VB (Mickey Mouse) Boots: Useless unless pulling guard in -50
Pile Cap: The pile cap is on the list, not because it isn't warm, but because it makes the wearer look completely retarded.
Yellow PT Uniform (aka banana suit): CIF never issued a soldier this uniform in the right size. They were always two sizes too small. Thus, when you had to wear them, the entire formation looked like they had been "shoe-horned" into a full body version of speedo's banana hammock.
Anyone have any addtions to the list or something as. or more, stupid?
I can't stop laughing! Thanks for this!
I was issued Green Laser Protective Ballistic Eye protection while in 3ID. I think that explains itself.
L-Angle Flashlight - If you could get it to work, how were you supposed to keep it on your LBE? D-Batteries, Size, luminosity. Awful. I'd rather carry a medieval torch or lantern.
Everywhere I went, the indig loved those things.
I thought the cunt cap was the dumbest thing I was ever issued.
Destrier
04-04-2012, 09:59
Acu digital cammo pattern and the color it came it.
ddoering
04-04-2012, 10:32
Everywhere I went, the indig loved those things.
I thought the cunt cap was the dumbest thing I was ever issued.
Along with low-quarters.
I love my pile cap btw.
Badger52
04-04-2012, 10:53
I thought the cunt cap was the dumbest thing I was ever issued.Ditto; until that gay-ass minty-green shirt for my Class A's...
:rolleyes:
I thought the cunt cap was the dumbest thing I was ever issued.
I thought so too, until I had to wrangle my service cap on a flight from Ft. Polk to San Francisco. That was the last time I wore it except for inspections.
Pat
Ret10Echo
04-04-2012, 11:07
"issued' but not necessariy CIF stuff.
Dress uniform:
- Black overcoat.... Shapeless sack that I never wore. (Not to mention those that wore it off-duty and looked really creepy)
- Class-A Gloves....Worn as often as the overcoat.
-Garrison cap...with glider patch (facing which way??)
Field kit
-Ecotat...Never used the thing and I think I was the only one on the team to actually have the poles for it.
Misc.
-Gray Army sweatshirt...A zipper you weren't allowed to unzip, a hood you couldn't wear and pockets you couldn't put your hands in. I bought a gray pullover with "Army" on the front.
Never wore the heavy green wool shirt-looking thing either.
On the flip side, I still have and frequently use my boonie cap, wool pullover, field jacket liner, poncho and liner, ALICE ruck, asspack, wingwalkers, jungle hotel and canteen cup, and I've been out damn near twenty years. :cool:
Never wore the heavy green wool shirt-looking thing either.
On the flip side, I still have and frequently use my boonie cap, wool pullover, field jacket liner, poncho and liner, ALICE ruck, asspack, wingwalkers, jungle hotel and canteen cup, and I've been out damn near twenty years. :cool:
Okay, Dusty, stick to "stupidest things" not smartest things. The smartest thing list is pretty short.;)
Okay, Dusty, stick to "stupidest things" not smartest things. The smartest thing list is pretty short.;)
Roger.
Butter bars. :D
miclo18d
04-04-2012, 12:37
Okay, some commo guys might slam me (or praise me) for this but here goes.
KL-43 -- Hand held Encryption/Decription Device -- A 5 Lb Paper weight that forces you to find 10 different menus to send one message.
It held only a few messages of a certain length, that you had to find and erase to make a new msg.
It sucked over HF (DMDG was better for goodness sakes)
Keyboard was so small and not illuminated for night you'd be lucky if you weren't sending recipes to your commander instead of SALUTE reports.
The crypto keys TEK and KEK were confusing, didn't last long, and were impossible to get loaded.
My head is hurting just remembering it!
blue02hd
04-04-2012, 13:10
Army Values Card.
The worst item ever designed was the spaghetti straps designed to rig your sleeping bag/bedroll to your LBE (pre rucksack)...when you rolled your sleeping bag/tent pegs/in your shelter half and then attatched to your lbe......
pulled your belt up to your throat ....dumbest thing I've ever seen.
How about that Gamma Goat...great vehicle that was neither a Gamma or a goat, just a very cpmplex machine that barely carried anything.
Field Jacket? The Field Jacket was a classic. Hardly ever worn in the Field but great on post and for winter guard duty - as long as you had the liner and wool scarf - while zipping around in the jeeps with no sides.
Of course the liner was a must have in the field to be worn under the fatigues.
My vote?
The green rubberized 2 piece rain suit issued as field wear.
While it might have been good for hosing down some tracked vehicle in the motor pool it sucked as field gear.
A couple of weeks in the field during rainy weather and the rubber wore off in key areas. Try and move wearing it and you might as well take it off you'd be soaked anyway.
Badger52
04-04-2012, 14:17
KL-43 -- Hand held Encryption/Decription Device -- A 5 Lb Paper weight...concur.
Office query yielded many of the items already listed. AF(Ret) guy said, "my comb, upon entering basic training."
He was issued that comb, so it can count.
When I entered BCT we were marched to the PX and made to purchase: useless comb (yes), alas Oreos (no).
T
How about that Gamma Goat...great vehicle that was neither a Gamma or a goat, just a very cpmplex machine that barely carried anything.
And you never forgot riding around in one. They should have put a disclaimer on the side like on cigarette packs: "Riding in this vehicle can be hazardous to your health. It has been known to cause kidney disease. In rare instances, individuals have been known to be put on dialysis."
mark46th
04-04-2012, 15:44
The burst device for the AN/GRC109. I never got that thing to work nor did anyone in class ....
Cake_14N
04-04-2012, 16:02
1. Was issued a complete bag of cold weather gear for a June, July and August deployment to Iraq. Parka, bunny-boots, scarves, long underwear, and mittens.
2. Every single piece of instructional material for the USAF Intelligence officer and enlisted course is marked on both the left and right margin of the page with " NOT FOR USE ON THE JOB" I always wondered what the hell we were being taught if we could not use it on the job.
3. The knife and fork in the chow hall at basic/AIT ( I was an 11B before I joined the USAF) were pretty useless as well, but we had to take one of each. Everything I ate at basic/ait was shoveled in with that giant spoon, never chewed, and swallowed whole.
x SF med
04-04-2012, 16:04
the Gen 1 lightweight gore-tex rainsuit (both green and woodland) that tore as soon as you looked at it... we kept Natick in business testing that POS... Now the Gen 2 light weight and heavyweight in the woodland were stellar
- and the brown gore-tex jungle boots sucked in Gen 1, but worked in Gen 2...
The unjumpable originally issued Lowe Vector Ruck.
The harness that supposedly made the Lowe jumpable - if you had 3 PhDs and a company of riggers helping wrap all that spaghetti around a ruck that was nearly as tall as me.
Ecotat - agree completely... we were never issued instructions (needed) or poles (needed)
the amazing shrinking lightweight poly-pro longjohns... they turned into shrinkwrap while you were out on patrol, and never quite lost any smell they ever encountered, no matter how many times they got washed (in cold, hung dry - 3 more inches of shrink...)
Gargoyles.
Had a discussion at work the other day on the stupidest gear the military issued to it's soldiers.
VB (Mickey Mouse) Boots: Useless unless pulling guard in -50
Pile Cap: The pile cap is on the list, not because it isn't warm, but because it makes the wearer look completely retarded.
Anyone have any addtions to the list or something as. or more, stupid?
VB for there time frame I liked them I did a 30 day winter training then went to Ranger school. My feet sucked!!!! Hamburger meat!!
I hated cargo straps.. Did anyone really get then to keep anything on your Alice packs?? LORD
Not on a team but when going through basic training one of the students got issued a sleeping bag with velcro instead of a zipper.
Every damn time he got up to piss at night he woke everyone up. Not sure who came up with that idea but it's the only one I ever saw.
The Reaper
04-04-2012, 22:00
Not individual, but the Davy Crockett missile would be pretty high on the crew served list.
TR
Ret10Echo
04-05-2012, 05:03
My vote?
The green rubberized 2 piece rain suit issued as field wear.
While it might have been good for hosing down some tracked vehicle in the motor pool it sucked as field gear.
And it always smelled like vomit.... :eek:
ZonieDiver
04-05-2012, 06:07
I'll echo some others:
1) Service (aka Saucer) Cap - where the hell do you pack that thing?
2) Low Quarters - never needed them again after Airborne School.
3) OD Green Overcoat - I thought "WTF is this, the Russian army?"
4) OD Green Rain Gear - Even in Basic at Ft. Lewis, this stuff was worse than worthless! DS would wait to see if it was going to rain long enough to justify stopping training, getting the crap out, and donning it. By then you were soaked anyway. As Pete said, if you moved wearing it, you'd sweat do death. As Ret10Echo said, it ALWAYS smelled like vomit.
5) L-Angle Flashlight - I still have mine (well, the US Army's), but it is worthless. However, it did look SO cool up there by the shoulder on your LBE. SO cool in fact that they had to make it in PINK to keep soldiers from stealing it (while I was in USAR). It didn't stop them, because there was always an endless supply of OD Green spray paint!
5) L-Angle Flashlight - I still have mine (well, the US Army's), but it is worthless. However, it did look SO cool up there by the shoulder on your LBE. SO cool in fact that they had to make it in PINK to keep soldiers from stealing it (while I was in USAR). It didn't stop them, because there was always an endless supply of OD Green spray paint!
WTF was with the Army and making everyone wear that thing up on your LCE at the shoulder? It was heavy enough that it always dragged your shoulder straps down only on that side.
Also, what about the fish hook looking metal clips on the LCE harness? As soon as you got them issued you had to cut them off and use 550 cord or you would end up looking like a stand in for a hellraiser movie. I had a sadistic team sergeant in 1/75 that would let you do your first road march in Bn before he would say anything just to see if you were smart enough to discover the "design flaw" on your own. Of course, nobody ever was.
2018commo
04-05-2012, 06:57
The M-60 blank adapter, torqued on with a pipe wrench and cheater bar...
miclo18d
04-05-2012, 07:25
The M-60 blank adapter, torqued on with a pipe wrench and cheater bar...
Oh God yes.
Smacking it against a tree to clog the hole so it would fire.
If you torqued it too much it would bend the metal that fit around the front sight and become a dangerous missile launcher!
The inside tube would get bent from the heat and you couldn't get it back in the barrel.
And the arms room NEVER had new ones you could DX with the effed up ones!
1stindoor
04-05-2012, 07:59
What a fun trip down memory lane. Unfortunately I don't think I can top anything listed. At the top of my list would have been the shelter half as well. When were they phased out? I did Basic in '86 and we had them then.
What a fun trip down memory lane. Unfortunately I don't think I can top anything listed. At the top of my list would have been the shelter half as well. When were they phased out? I did Basic in '86 and we had them then.
Along about the time "don't ask, don't tell" came into effect. :D
Mr Furious
04-05-2012, 09:49
And it always smelled like vomit.... :eek:
bwaahahahha. Man that is so spot on. That was always my thought too.
VB boots when stationed in Alaska were a life saver when we were dug in the defense (aka...guard duty at -50). movement to contact, etc...not so much.
Old Dog New Trick
04-05-2012, 10:56
The "feel good" general issue of Black Berets to everyone!
Two piece gloves - paper thin leather shell and wool liners.
Along with the Mint Green shirt, was the re-write in AR-670-1 that banned the "Khaki" Class "B" uniform.
"N-B-C" Cap in the canteen issued to anyone that might experience freezing conditions.
Field Mess Kit, although the spoon was handy and doubled as an E-Tool.
The Gregory mountain pack that was issued back in 99-2000. It weighed about 15-16 lbs empty, and had so many straps that it was practically unusable.
mojaveman
04-06-2012, 14:51
Hated those LBE suspenders, when you put on a heavy ruck the metal clips dug into the skin on your back and during a lot of low crawling and moving around on the ground they frequently came unfastened.
The USGI black leather boots that were issued in the '70s and early '80s. They weren't very comfortable and with the zig zag pattern soles they weren't very good on ice. Busted my a$$ more than once during the winter in Germany.
The old M1911A1 black leather holsters that attached to the web belt. The top flaps came undone very easily and they either rode too low or too high depending on what you were doing.
The old heavy weight BDUs that were first issued around '83. In the summer they were way too hot and during the rainy season when they got wet they took forever to dry.
Anything that was maunfactured from wool to include socks and the brown sweaters that came out when BDUs did.
Oh yeah, the M151 Jeep with it's twelve universal joints. One was always sure to fail just when you were out in the middle of nowhere. The heaters and canvas tops were about worthless too.
dr. mabuse
04-06-2012, 16:37
twelve[/I] universal joints. One was always sure to fail just when you were out in the middle of nowhere. The heaters and canvas tops were about worthless too.
Twelve? You're kidding, right? :eek:
A great thread and definitely a trip down memory lane. The bus I was on out of Des Moines pulled into Ft Leonard Wood, Mo. a little after midmite and the first thing we all recd. was a field jacket and that pile cap that made us all look "challenged" no one uses that other word these days. The Drill Sgts. then proceeded to teach us how to roll the pile cap so will we all look uniformly simple. I have one of those army issue ponchos out in my garage, it smelled like vomit when I got it and it still smells like vomit and its at least 37 years old.
MTN Medic
04-06-2012, 16:53
The Gregory mountain pack that was issued back in 99-2000. It weighed about 15-16 lbs empty, and had so many straps that it was practically unusable.
AND it was fire engine red! :eek:
Monsoon65
04-07-2012, 15:32
When I started reading this, I thought, "I wonder how many will comment on the vomit smell of raingear?"
I honestly liked the jacket when I was issued one, but it took a long time to scrub the stink off it. I never got it off the pants, tho, and never wore them.
The AF blue all weather coat sucked. If worn in the winter, you better wear a scarf because of the low collar or you'll freeze. In the summer when using it as a rain coat, you were better off going without. If you wore it, you'd sweat thru your uniform.
Leggings....... Hence "LEGS".........
"The old heavy weight BDUs that were first issued around '83. In the summer they were way too hot and during the rainy season when they got wet they took forever to dry."
With the Elvis collar!
The two piece PRC 68/98 (???) squad radio....The receiver clipped to the helmet and the transmitter to your LBE. Only used it in Ranger School, would have worked better to throw it at the person you were trying to talk to:rolleyes:
Combat Diver
04-08-2012, 03:07
Hook pile tape (velcro) on the ACUs and course the ACU colors.
CD
The Gregory mountain pack that was issued back in 99-2000. It weighed about 15-16 lbs empty, and had so many straps that it was practically unusable.
Good one.. I think it was breaking 20lbs. Damn thing was heavy. How bout the heavy guage rubber on the bottom. That had to be 10 lbs there..lol
How about those anti-mine shoes at the beginning of GWOT. You know the ones that looked like spider legs that your boot clipped into. REALLY!! What PM really thought those were tactical and would work.
http://www.instablogsimages.com/images/2008/05/16/spiderboot_9Pl6t_15699.jpg
The new reflective ACU pattern PT jacket......seriously...why Army, WHY? I am pretty sure someone, somewhere is determined to make us look as ridiculous as possible. I just wish the ACU would go away for good...
One more thing semi-related, Skipping as an exercise on the new PT program. I have to do this twice a week...never thought the war fighter Army would order me to skip around...guess I was wrong!:rolleyes:
Badger52
04-10-2012, 12:06
Twelve? You're kidding, right? :eek:Nope, he's not; that thing was more articulated than a lunar rover. And a fresh wheel-bearing job was good for maybe 50km or so... (I'd love to have an old 3/4T truck though... not fast but that was one tree-climbin' sob - I even saw an old commo shelter for the back of one the other day online somewhere for sale. I'd queue up "Memories...." but it was sung by Barbra Scheissland)
Now back to the junk.