View Full Version : Guard Spouses Aren’t “Real” Army Wives?
As if there aren't enough issues to deal with out there - I'm sure glad I don't have to deal with this mess...but there are some interesting responses to her position.
And so it goes...
Richard :munchin
Guard Spouses Aren’t “Real” Army Wives?
SpouseBuzz @Mil.Com, 10 Feb 2012
An Army spouse blogger in Vermont has gotten the military blogging community in a hot tizzy after writing a post stating that, her in opinion, Army National Guardsmen are not “by any stretch of the imagination” really Soldiers, and Army National Guard wives are not really Army wives.
Update: After making major edits to her statements Feb. 10, the author appears to have completely killed her blog site.
Her reasoning, in a nut shell, is this: Active Duty Soldiers deploy, come home, put back on their uniforms, return to an Active Duty life. But National Guardsmen come home, take off their uniforms, go back to civilian life. Yes, they drill on a regular schedule, but that doesn’t make them day in and out Soldiers. Yes, Guardsmen suffer from PTSD issues … but so do a lot of civilians from a lot of non-combat related issues.
And if Guardsmen aren’t really Soldiers, their spouses aren’t Army wives, she says.
Feb. 10 Update: The commander of her husband, who she refers to as “Hubs,” has issued a public apology for “Hub’s” comment in defense of his wife’s position. Go here for all the details.
Her husband, who she married in August (according to her blog), has deployed twice in the past and is currently a recruiter based out of Vermont. It is the Vermont National Guard spouses, in particular, that she is taking issue with. She indicates that she is in the dark as to why Guard spouses get so upset about this characterization. In her words: “When you try to explain this to a Guard spouse, they get defensive, and often times throw a huge fit. ”
(cont'd) http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2012/02/guard-spouses-arent-real-army-wives.html?ESRC=sm_spbuzz.nl
Is this what you full-timers call a career limiting ground engagement??? I think this young Jedi's CO does.. :munchin
I hope she's a good cook.. :munchin
Command Apologizes for Anti-Guard Comments
The commander of a Vermont-based Army recruiting station issued a public apology this afternoon for the remarks made by a soldier there on an inflammatory, viral blog post written by that soldier’s wife that sent the online spouse community into a whirlwind.
“You are correct about wives not being under the prevue of the command. I assure you that the Soldier in question is,” Cpt. Allan-Jay Catindig, commander of the Burlington, Vt. based recruiting station wrote in a message on Facebook. “There has been a face to face counseling session with this Soldier as to the responsibilities of the freedoms and rights that our Constitution has so given to this Nation.”
The blog post, which appeared on the blog “Army Wife, Army Life,” gave a list of reasons why National Guardsmen are not real soldiers and why their spouses are not real Army wives. Her reasons, which we detailed and discussed here and here, included her perceptions of the Guards’ deployment tempo and claims of PTSD issues. She has since edited her blog to remove some of her previous claims as well as all past posts and photos of herself and her family.
Update: Since this post went live the blogger appears to have completely killed her site.
The problem with the soldier, however, started when he responded publically on the post to the spouse community’s lash back. The 417 word comment, which has since been removed from the post, both defended her right to say what she wants as a private citizen and her opinions on the Guard verses Active Army distinctions.
“What most of you don’t understand, since you are National Guard, related to one, or married to one, is that it really bothers any active duty, full time, regular Army soldier to be compared to National Guard,” he wrote. “Most people do not know who we are, or what the Regular Army is about. A lot of people actually believe the National Guard is the one and only army for the U.S. This is a huge pet peeve of mine and I make sure to educate people who think this. My wife was doing the same thing by writing the blog, in a ranting kind of way.”
While the soldier was correct that his spouse has the freedom to say what she wants, he misunderstood his right to do the same, Catindig wrote. Catindig assured Guard members that the opinions on the blog were not the opinions of the recruiting station.
“In response to your concern, I would truly like to say this is not the command climate that we pursue nor agree with. We respect and honor all military personnel with whom we serve that has stood and swore an oath to support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic. We are all brothers and sisters in arms,” he wrote. “We apologize for the actions that one person has brought it up on himself, and we want to ensure you that this is NOT the actions or the climate of this command.”
Read more: http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2012/02/command-apologizes-for-anti-guard-comments.html#ixzz1m5JuMkaZ
SpouseBUZZ.com
SLVGW360
02-11-2012, 09:07
Sneetch Syndrome?
Surgicalcric
02-11-2012, 11:47
I know of quite a few NG wives who spend more time away from their "not real soldiers" than AD wives do.
Ignorance...
Crip
I know of quite a few NG wives who spend more time away from their "not real soldiers" than AD wives do.
Ignorance...
Crip
Yes.
I'll be sure to pass this along to all my NG Army wives in the local Troop I support. :rolleyes:
Not sure how one defines "real" but my security team leader in Iraq was killed during our rotation. He was 36th ID, Texas National Guard. I'd say he and his widow were pretty darn real.
Rip Shawn.
Dozer523
02-12-2012, 20:35
National Guard Wives are prettier then Active Duty Wives.
The Reaper
02-12-2012, 20:42
National Guard Wives are prettier then Active Duty Wives.
Oh, shit....
TR
Dozer523
02-13-2012, 17:12
Oh, shit....
TR:D
it t'was in pink:p
It is the Vermont National Guard spouses, in particular, that she is taking issue with. She indicates that she is in the dark as to why Guard spouses get so upset about this characterization. In her words: “When you try to explain this to a Guard spouse, they get defensive, and often times throw a huge fit. ”
I'm guessing they get upset because she has no idea what she is talking about.
I was AD USMC and had the honor of serving alongside B Co 2-136 soldiers of the Minnesota ARNG in Iraq in 06-07.
Maybe this soldier's wife needs to spend a little more time learning about the sacrifices made by those NG soldiers and their spouses. Here's my contribution:
http://ericiniraq.scrappydog.com/2007/01/another-sad-day.html
Red Flag 1
02-13-2012, 18:32
"An Army spouse blogger in Vermont has gotten the military blogging community in a hot tizzy after writing a post stating that, her in opinion, Army National Guardsmen are not “by any stretch of the imagination” really Soldiers, and Army National Guard wives are not really Army wives."
Read more: http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2012/02/guard-spouses-arent-real-army-wives.html#ixzz1mJMq9SjJ
SpouseBUZZ.com
This is from a Vermont spouse, rather sheltered at that. When John Kerry looses his seat Senate from Mass, he could well retire in Vermont as " John Kerry, King For Life". Pretty much matches his random, in depth thoughts of military life as well.
RF 1
So...what channel do I tune in for "Real Wives of the National Guard"...:rolleyes:
Richard :munchin
Dozer523
02-13-2012, 23:07
She married "Hub" six months ago? Sometime AFTER he he returned from the latest deployment? So she wasn't married to him then.
MRFL sez,
"Until you've 'kept the homefires burning' while your (state your Branch here)Soldier's been deployed you don't know what your talking about, sis."
Red Flag 1
02-14-2012, 19:45
So...what channel do I tune in for "Real Wives of the National Guard"...:rolleyes:
Richard :munchin
TLC; right after "Fashion Emergency".....just give it some time, they are bound to bite.
RF 1
Makes one wonder if she didn't get involved in some sort of "verbal altercation" with a NG spouse and then utilize her blog to prove her point as though she had something to prove.
Regardless of the reason, her statements were obviously given in complete ignorance and probably "ego driven" for some reason unknown to us.
Update: After making major edits to her statements Feb. 10, the author appears to have completely killed her blog site.But she didn't kill Google's cache, so a version of her controversial blog post is available in full. Source is here (http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:aHKw2dTjuCgJ:airbornewife814.blogsp ot.com/+airbornewife814.blogspot.com&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us).Stirring the pot...
I want to preface this entire post by saying that this is my blog. I feel that that gives me the right to express my opinion on whatever matters I see fit, if you don't agree with something that I'm saying, they make a couple handy little buttons. One is a red 'x' in the upper right hand corner, feel free to click it, it won't hurt my feelings. That being said...
Living in Vermont, there isn't a very strong Active Duty Military presence. 90% of the military influence around here comes from the Vermont National Guard. Oftentimes when I explain that my husband is in the Army, people automatically assume he is in the Guard. It's an easy assumption. We don't have an Army base here, we have Camp Johnson, a National Guard base. The Guard ACUs are almost exactly the same as AD Army, and many civilians (and myself) don't understand a lot of the differences in company patches. The Hubs was still assigned here, and we are still going to be sent away from here. If he hadn't been here, I wouldn't have met him. As a recruiter, he is still Active Duty. This is where my rant (of sorts) begins.
The Vermont National Guard is just that, they are State Militia. The Hubs is a federal soldier. The National Guard spouses around here like to refer to themselves as 'Army Wives'. They aren't. I respect their significant others for the things that they do, but they are not, by any stretch of the imagination, soldiers. That being said, the Hubs is not a Marine, he is not a Sailor, he is not an Airman. He is a Soldier. A dog is not a cat, it'll never meow.
When you try to explain this to a Guard spouse, they get defensive, and often times throw a huge fit.
My husband is a soldier, he got deployed, just like yours!
I agree, your husband got deployed just like mine, but when he came home, he got to go back to a normal civilian life. When my husband got home, he still had to put on his ACUs and go to work, as a soldier.
I agree, your husband got deployed, just like mine, but when he came home, he knew he wouldn't get deployed again for at least another four years, in which time he probably wouldn't have re-upped his contract. When my husband got home, he knew he could turn around and get deployed again. Period.
My husband is a soldier, he has to go to drill!
Yup. One weekend a month, two weeks a year.
My husband is a soldier, he has PTSD!
I'm so proud to say that the Hubs has been through 2 deployments, and his mind is as solid as a rock. What Guard spouses seem to not realize, is that A LOT of other people, who have nothing to do with the military, have PTSD. It's a horrible, horrible thing to deal with, and I would never wish it on anybody, but just because he has PTSD, doesn't automatically file him in the 'soldier' category.
I can argue your points all day if you want.
I guess what I'm trying to get at here, is that I would really like people to stop jumping down my throat when I tell them that they are not an Army Wife. I'm not trying to imply that you're any less of a person. I'm not trying to imply that your husband is any less of a man. I applaud him for what he did, if he got deployed, and I respect him for that. I applaud him for the time that he does give up, on his one weekend a month, two weeks a year. I applaud him for going through BT and AIT. He is a member of the Guard, 100%, there is no denying it. He is not a soldier, you are not an Army wife. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
I'm just trying to point out the blatant differences between a Vermont Guard member, and a United States Soldier.
The second part of my rant is this.
As I said before, Vermont Guard is a State Militia... that still comes with responsibility, in uniform and out. As soon as he opens his mouth about being a part of ANY type of military presence, or dons his uniform, he has to realize that. That's part of what they bash into their heads at BT.
Part of YOUR job as a spouse, is to be a direct reflection of him. That means getting your facts straight, and getting educated.
- Respect OPSEC and PERSEC when your husband is deployed. I see none of this when a Vermont Guard wife has a deployed husband.
- Respect the higher ranks. When I met my husband's 1SG, I made sure to put my best foot forward. I put on a nice outfit, did my hair, and put makeup on my face. Used manners; ma'am, sir, please, and thank you. I sat quietly and spoke only when addressed. If I had a question, I waited for a break in the conversation, and said 'Excuse me.' It's simple really. I see none of this when Vermont Guard spouses get together for an event with their spouses.
- Respect your husband when he's in uniform. Just because my husband and I aren't on post when he's in his uniform, I keep the 'handling' to a minimum. Technically, you aren't even supposed to hold hands with him when he's in uniform. I keep a hand on the Hub's elbow, or not at all. I don't sit on his lap, I don't make out with him, we hardly kiss for that matter. I see none of this when Vermont Guard spouses are together.
- Respect the uniform itself. Don't put it on and take sexy pictures with it, with boobs/butt falling out all over the place. That's just trashy. A fun picture with his cover on is one thing, flaunting your assests is another.
It burns my biscuits when these spouses, who so loudly (and rudely) insist that they are 'Army wives' can't even handle these simple types of things, that go along with being an actual Army wife. You're just making yourself and your spouse look bad.
I just want to re-state, that I'm not posting this to be disrespectful. My Uncle served in the NH National Guard, and did a tour in Iraq. I'm so proud of him for it! He wore the uniform well, and with pride. He isn't any less of a person because he wasn't active duty for the 4 years that he served. Be proud of your spouses for what they do, no matter if they are a soldier, member of the Guard, lawyer, doctor, or burger flipper at McDonald's. Spend less time trying to make yourself into something that you're not, and more time respecting others for what they are. You'll be a lot happier for it, I promise.
Posted by Catie at 12:36 PM The cache also provides information about "Catie." She married her husband on 14 August 2011 (which may explain the blog's title), and is expecting a daughter to be born on 22 February 2012.