View Full Version : Question about appearing on TV.
Calvengeance
06-06-2011, 20:25
My best friend and his fiance recently won a spot on a new Oprah show called Don't Tell the Bride.
He is getting $25,000 to plan a wedding but has to have no contact with the bride for three weeks while he plans it with his best man.
He asked me to be his best man in the past and asked me if I would still be his best man considering my aspirations; when I read on this site that the dedicated get rid of their Facebooks and become as anonymous as possible, I took the prescribed medicine.
What should I do in this situation? He said he could have someone else be his best man if necessary.
Would using a pseudonym be passable if my image is still on TV?
Snaquebite
06-06-2011, 20:29
I tried typing a response and I couldn't come up with anything appropriate....I'm still laughing....
:munchin
Do you have experience in special event and/or wedding planning?
1.Plan the wedding at local fire house for 1K, and put the remaining 24K into gold and oil contracts.
2. Don't tell anyone what you want to do.
1.Plan the wedding at local fire house for 1K, and put the remaining 24K into gold and oil contracts.
2. Don't tell anyone what you want to do.Yeah, but if you take this route, make sure you read this first (http://professionalsoldiers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=33936).
I tried typing a response and I couldn't come up with anything appropriate....I'm still laughing....
:munchin
I have nothing to say either. I just wanted to put a post on here, so I have a little "black dot" on the thread indicator, when I hit "New Posts" so I can keep track of this thread.
Snaquebite .... could you pass the popcorn please ????
:munchin ..... Thanks.
I'm guessing he thinks that if he is entering the Army in the future ( I guess? ) someone might recognize him and he wants to avoid that.
Calvengeance
06-06-2011, 20:55
I'm guessing he thinks that if he is entering the Army in the future ( I guess? ) someone might recognize him and he wants to avoid that.
I'll be commissioning infantry in August. My buddy, the one getting married, will commission into the Navy in December.
This is officially the biggest can of worms I have ever opened.
on an OPRAH show... haha This needs to be filed away in the event Mr. calvengeance ever somehow ends up on an ODA... it would be just too funny... especially after they edit it to make you seem entertaining.
We should start a poll on suggestions for your psuedonym... haha :munchin
This is officially the biggest can of worms I have ever opened.On the upside, your pal has given you an out, not only from the show, but also the wedding party, as well as the wedding itself.
_______________________________________
* Source is here (http://insidetv.ew.com/2011/05/06/oprah-winfrey-network-replaces-ceo/).
We should start a poll on suggestions for your psuedonym... haha :munchin
The One
Just go. You probably won't get any face time anyway since they will be focusing on your friend instead.
Calvengeance
06-06-2011, 21:52
We should start a poll on suggestions for your psuedonym... haha :munchin
John Smith is overdone.
How about...John Wayne?
incarcerated
06-06-2011, 22:30
The One
Wasn’t that recently taken?
PedOncoDoc
06-07-2011, 04:58
John Smith is overdone.
How about...John Wayne?
Unfortunately, Wolfgang Hammersmith is already taken... :D
Barbarian
06-07-2011, 06:16
Unfortunately, Wolfgang Hammersmith is already taken...
Didn't Wolfgang Hammerdork list "wedding planner" on his resume?:D
1stindoor
06-07-2011, 09:36
How about Skip Hillarsmith Stone?
I'm not sure how the Oprah Circus plays out, I would be wary of that.
One of my best friends and his fiance asked me to be the officiant for their wedding in 2008, they didn't want a stranger performing their ceremony. I was honored but very apprehensive, I'm not a man of the cloth and had zero qualification to do this. The state of California lets you be an officiant once.
If your friend is important to you, put a lot more time than the three weeks allotted in, and spend the time it takes to write and memorize a brief, classy, respectful toast which captures the couples qualities. If you pull this off, I can attest it will be something you are always proud of.
On the flip side, if you screw the pooch, IMO the bride will hold a grudge, and you will likely see much less of your friend going forward. These are the stakes.
Thank You for choosing to serve, and best of luck with this, and your future.
AllAmerican
06-07-2011, 13:25
I'll be commissioning infantry in August
What exactly is it that you're worried about? You commission in August which means you won't even be able to put in a selection packet for two and a half years after that. Assuming you go to SFAS, get selected, go off to career course, come back and finish the Q, you're looking at roughly 2016 before you're wearing a Green Beret. You should be honored that your friend wants you to be his best man. What would you say to him? You can't be his best man because maybe someday five or six years down the road I could be a Special Forces officer and someone might remember seeing me on the Oprah show? Come on now. If he's your best friend then I don't see how this is even a hard decision.
Calvengeance
06-07-2011, 13:30
What exactly is it that you're worried about? You commission in August which means you won't even be able to put in a selection packet for two and a half years after that. Assuming you go to SFAS, get selected, go off to career course, come back and finish the Q, you're looking at roughly 2016 before you're wearing a Green Beret. You should be honored that your friend wants you to be his best man. What would you say to him? You can't be his best man because maybe someday five or six years down the road I could be a Special Forces officer and someone might remember seeing me on the Oprah show? Come on now. If he's your best friend then I don't see how this is even a hard decision.
http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=20073
Change your name to Rusty Shackleford, and wear mirrored sunglasses and a red baseball hat.
Calvengeance
06-07-2011, 13:33
Change your name to Rusty Shackleford, and wear mirrored sunglasses and a red baseball hat.
I'll need to find a good friend that sells propane and propane accessories.
http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=20073
Hmm... you do realize just from the info you have on this website combined with a little datamining that I already have your full name, photo, and month of birth.
Also, if you earn a Silver Star or above, all that anonymity goes away too once USASOC starts sending out the press releases. So, don't try too hard to be a hero ;)
Calvengeance
06-07-2011, 13:51
Hmm... you do realize just from the info you have on this website combined with a little datamining that I already have your full name, photo, and month of birth.
Also, if you earn a Silver Star or above, all that anonymity goes away too once USASOC starts sending out the press releases. So, don't try too hard to be a hero ;)
What do you suggest I do, then?
What would you do in my situation?
1stindoor
06-07-2011, 14:02
What do you suggest I do, then?
What would you do in my situation?
Be there for your friend...and try to minimize your exposure on the boob tube.
Go for it.... what are you trying to hide anyway? That you had a friend that got married and you joined the Army?
Terrorists don't do Oprah!
AllAmerican
06-07-2011, 14:10
http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/...ad.php?t=20073
Thank you, I've read the thread many times. I hope you don't think facebook and myspace are the only ways to find information on somebody. My point is that you aren't even in the Army yet, and you're trying to decide whether or not to be your supposed best friend's best man based on the assumption that you're going to be a Special Forces officer someday. Just think about that for a second. I also doubt that any person wanting to do harm to Americans is going to be watching the Oprah show and subsequently remember seeing you on the show five years down the road.
What do you suggest I do, then?
What would you do in my situation?
Well, first, I'd remove my XXX from this account if I'm going to be telling the internet I want to be Special Forces AND using the same XXX elsewhere on the internet.
Second, if you're truly worried about foreign intelligence services and wanting to be in covert ops, you would realize that there are only so many guys named XXX going to school in XXX who did XXX ... so in your shoes, I would stop posting on this forum with personal identifable information.
Third, it seems as though you have already made your mind up NOT to do the show, because if you were going to do the show, you wouldn't post on the internet on a Special Forces site that you might be on the show.
What would I do? I would've just done the show and not made a big deal about it, not pissing off my best friend by saying "sorry bro, I know this is the biggest moment of your life, but there is a ridiculously small chance that I might be a secret squirrel in ten years". You can still be in Special Forces,... but you'll probably take some crap from the team once they find out (and they will find out). If you can't be in some top secret ninja squad, at least you can say you were there for your boy, which is more important to me.
But now, I just imagine you freaking out in the TV camera saying the first thing that comes to mind... "I'm not going to be Special Forces!" :D
Here I am thinking - this really in a way has nothing to do with what you want to do down the road.
You had a BFFL kinda' guy you promised to stand up for. Now he's picked out a girl and they did the contest thing. Which means you're now the side show of the big show.
They are all wiggly-jiggly about being on TV and you just want to be the best man at the wedding.
Did he sit down with you before they entered and explain what would happen if they won? Or did you make the promise years ago and they entered without telling you?
If they entered without telling you then you can just say"Friend, that's not what I signed up for." If they told you, they entered, they won and now you're having second thoughts - well, I'd say you were stuck with it.
Oh yeah, and for sure hit on the bride to be and film it for a real reality moment
Oh yeah, and for sure hit on the bride to be and film it for a real reality moment
They'll probably just edit it to make it look that way anyways.. <cut to shot of him looking left> <cut to shot of her looking right>..."Their eyes meet... sexual tension builds.." :munchin
Calvengeance
06-07-2011, 14:47
I appreciate all of the advice. Thank y'all so much.
I'm going to do what 1stindoor said and be with my buddy but try to limit exposure.
And if they have editing that makes it look like I've hit on the bride, all of this anonymity will mean nothing; my own bride to be will kill me herself.
Thanks again, all.
If they entered without telling you then you can just say "Friend, that's not what I signed up for." If they told you, they entered, they won and now you're having second thoughts - well, I'd say you were stuck with it.FWIW, I agree.
Cal, if your reasoning is "If I do this, it will only be aired once," take a look at OWN's current weekly schedule here (http://www.oprah.com/own/tv-schedule/index.html?date=2011-06-07&stype=weekly&tb=0). Please note that there's a lot of duplication in the programming because OWN does not have a lot of content. Then, you might notice that Ms. Winfrey has a channel on YouTube as well as on Hulu. And then there are Facebook (Ms. Winfrey has 5.9 million "likes") and Twitter (6.1 million plus followers). What is a reasonable expectation for anonymity after jumping into this mix?
Privacy issues aside, planning a wedding is not easy. Doing so without continuous feedback for three weeks from the most important stakeholder (the bride to be) is not only a recipe for a disastrous wedding/reception but also for a damaged friendship. (And then consider your task list/responsibilities as best man.)
And then there's the format of the show itself. How many project-type reality shows have you seen where the humiliation of the contestants--in this case the groom and his best man--was not prominently featured?
And then there's the network. As noted, OWN is under performing. Do you think that the network is going to apply pressure on the show's editorial team to make your story line less "dramatic" or might there be a stream of notes calling for more "deer in headlight" moments?