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mhaggs
04-12-2011, 13:45
I have spend time with the search button reading many of the 'family' threads; However, I have not seen any threads that address my specific concern. If I have overlooked a thread that addresses my question please let me know.

I am an 18X Candidate that is schedules for SOPC/SFAS Nov/Dec. My concern is that I am currently engaged and not planning on have a 'quick' wedding before I leave as the families are not fond of that idea. Will I have any time during the Q Course to have a wedding. Maybe over Christmas Exodus? If anyone has dealt with this or knows someone who has I would love some hints/ideas.

Pete
04-12-2011, 14:06
Long term or short term planning?

There will be breaks and you will be able to do things on your off time. Christmas is pretty solid - like the week between Christmas and New Years.

Anything else could get hit long term with a schedule or modual change.

So her/your family wants the who shebang? Anything else they want? Think about that for a while.

mhaggs
04-12-2011, 14:31
Yes, she is 100% Greek and the Greek Orthodox take wedding and family to the utmost extremes. I was fine with planning the wedding for late December and come up with a date closer to December when I know my exact orders. However, I called the family services center at Fort Bragg earlier today to check and make sure I would be given Christmas off. The women there told me I may or may not. She has seen a cadre give Christmas off but she also said she has seen many candidates training through Christmas. I found that hard to believe and figured I could get some good advice talking to men who have been through something like this.

She was also unclear on when I would be able to move my family to Ft. Bragg.

Buffalobob
04-12-2011, 15:53
You really do not need the distraction of a wedding during selection and anyone who has been involved in a long wedding planning exercise will tell you that the questions such as silverware, china, exact words of the ceremony etc cannot be handled without your participation and the problem is no matter how tactful you are by phone or email when you choose the flaming yellow and orange tuxedo, there is going to be nuclear warheads launched. All of this is going on when your thought process should be on how many quarts of fluid have you taken in and expended today and how are you going to pass the land nav when you were up all last night with your darling sweetie discussing whether to have the lobster newburg or the braised chicken.

Your only saving grace is that they take all of your electronic gizmos away from you so sweetie pie honey bunch's mother, the dragon of hell, will be calling the first sergeant wanting to know why you are not answering your phone calls.
,
I should take a stick and beat you with if for reminding me of all those painful conversations when I was trying to take final exams so I could graduate with an engineering degree from Alabama.

I do believe, now that I have more life experiences, that redleg danger close is preferable to wedding planning or perhaps they are the same thing. :D

So 36+ years later, here I sit retired with my wife still working and I have made a meatloaf to bake for our dinner tonight (if she comes home in time) and will zap a couple of potatoes and some green beans.

glebo
04-12-2011, 15:54
Well, personally, I would focus on....I know both are important, but you either focus on the course, or the marriage...not both. You're gonna need 110% in the course, well, if you REALLY want to be good anyway.

This is of course speaking from a person with "marriage ribbon with one oak leaf cluster" so my .02 worth.

Because ya never know what may happen.

SouthernDZ
04-12-2011, 16:00
So 36+ years later, here I sit retired with my wife still working and I have made a meatloaf to bake for our dinner tonight (if she comes home in time) and will zap a couple of potatoes and some green beans.

I make a pretty mean meatloaf myself!

I spent the entire SFQC engaged but had the good sense to wait until I graduated to have the wedding. She's very understanding (but her meatloaf isn't as good as mine).:D:D

Stras
04-12-2011, 16:22
Here's some other things to ponder.

1. No single situation or response is the total answer to your question.

2. There are factors that you can influence and many that you can't.

3. You need to be thinking of 2nd and 3rd order effects. If I do "A", then how does this correlate with "B", "F", and "H". i.e., think ahead a couple of years and try to mitigate some of the issues now. Explain to your fiancee that you'll be traveling alot (without her), etc.

I was engaged prior to the SFQC. I graduated right before Christmas 92, and had the big church wedding the 26th of Dec. I've been happily divorced since 98.

If you're headed overseas after the SFQC, it is a frigging nightmare to get your new dependent into DEERs, passport changed to married name, and the EFMP screenings in less than 60 days. I came very close to having to leave my wife and move, with her coming after everything was finished. Luckily her b**hing out the EFMP Dr (COL) in the waiting room about the whole process helped me out.

Now lets talk about your security clearance. this will add to the length of time of the investigation as your status has changed. Real nut roll if she is NOT a US Citizen.

Is your future wife willing to give up her job and family and follow you to the various duty stations in your future career? not all of them are in the U.S. Might be a good topic of discussion to have now, rather than later.

greenberetTFS
04-12-2011, 16:43
Is your future wife willing to give up her job and family and follow you to the various duty stations in your future career? not all of them are in the U.S. Might be a good topic of discussion to have now, rather than later.

Very important question to ask........... Mine said YES and she wanted me to earn my Beret as much as I did.......... That was 54 years ago and we are still together today........... What these fellers are telling you is their own personal experiences and should be seriously considered before you make any decisions.........:)

Big Teddy :munchin

Snaquebite
04-12-2011, 17:07
Good advice being given....You have to make the decisions and no one can predict your future IF you make it through the course. I had been in SF for 5 years before marrying my high school sweetheart. We discussed all (I thought) the possibilities which could take place regarding me being in SF. She was cool with everything we talked about. Three months after getting married I was selected for something I just couldn't turn down. Again she supported me. Five years later and and us being together only 16 months of those five...things changed. I understood and we divorced. We're still friends but not married. I guess what I'm saying is that you can't predict everything. Your career will take you wherever the situation demands and your marriage withstands the demands of being SF or it doesn't.....or you quit.

BTW Glebo....I got THREE OLCs

glebo
04-12-2011, 17:25
Good advice being given....You have to make the decisions and no one can predict your future IF you make it through the course. I had been in SF for 5 years before marrying my high school sweetheart. We discussed all (I thought) the possibilities which could take place regarding me being in SF. She was cool with everything we talked about. Three months after getting married I was selected for something I just couldn't turn down. Again she supported me. Five years later and and us being together only 16 months of those five...things changed. I understood and we divorced. We're still friends but not married. I guess what I'm saying is that you can't predict everything. Your career will take you wherever the situation demands and your marriage withstands the demands of being SF or it doesn't.....or you quit.

BTW Glebo....I got THREE OLCs

Damn...."one up'ed" again:D:D

The Reaper
04-12-2011, 17:33
The answer to everything is "Yes", till you put the ring on the finger and utter the "I do."

Then you get mostly Yes'es but in a decreasing number till the warranty expires around the first anniversary.

It tends to be a bit downhill and much more of a compromise/the art of the deal after that. Quid pro quo.

IMHO, you would be best served to wait till you graduate from the SFQC before planning any wedding. Then you might give it a few deployments before you commit, just to make sure. There is very little stigma attached to cohabitation these days. I am sure that she and her family have other plans and perspectives.

Some marriages are better than others, and there is a selection and assessment process there as well. I don't think going through the Q Course at the same time will enhance the experience. In fact, it might even help to end it prematurely, and getting unmarried is very expensive, in many ways.

I waited till I was 35 to get married, and I do not regret staying single for that long. I would have been much less likely to still be married had I done it ten years earlier.

You do as you think best, just let us know periodically how it is working out.

TR

mark46th
04-12-2011, 18:10
I broke up with the woman I thought I would marry when I enlisted for SF. Like the man said,"Special Forces is a mistress..."

Also, the Search Button is your friend.

http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=27826

MtnGoat
04-12-2011, 19:06
I would say like TR said.. It is ten times better to work your way through the SFQC. I say too.. Wait till you graduate from the SFQC before planning any wedding. Yes it sucks for her, but you want to focus on SFQC not setting up your new House or dealing with water bills, grass cutting, etc. Yes people do it, but most if not all married guys have been married more than a day in the SFQC now. They have been dealing with bills, houses, utilities, ETC. As well as a wives having to deal with the house hold problems and military life, let alone daily job and social life.

It is good to "try it out", maybe no cohabitation, but you have never been in the military let alone deployed, away from home, in a foreign country, ETC. Now throw all that at a new wife, in a new place, away from home, in a strange country. You may not be in the Good Ol' USA, you could end up overseas. I say to wait till after the SFQC, use SFQC as a test bed for your marriage. You go to the field, typically you will not have Cell phones, but if you do, do call her. Wait till your base on Camp to use the pay phone or dig your cell out of a Bag. She if she can deal with that. No emails, no Smart phone Facebook or emails, ETC.

I had my Son during the SFQC, during language school. Made Language school tough as hell, I almost fail one of the major test.

My .02

Good Luck in your Journey!!!!

Richard
04-12-2011, 20:02
I was glad to have waited until I was an experienced SF NCO before attempting marriage, something I think had a powerful influence on us being able to anticipate our 36th anniversary this coming August.

However - it's your path, son, and only you can walk it. Good luck.

Richard :munchin

wet dog
04-12-2011, 23:11
Wait until you graduate. Write letters often, and not just the email thread, texting, crap, but a real letter once a week, nice paper, good pen, and call her each Sunday afternoon, unless you're in the field, under a ruck sack, or in study groups.

Once you walk across the stage, get your Grp assignment, meet the ODA, and gel for 6 months, if not on a deployment to Nigeria, Lybia or Brooklyn - then you can marry the girl.

In fact, I'll send you a $100 buck to just run away with her, let her family throw a big party for your 1st year anniversary, and you and the wife have no planning to do.

All that is required on your part, is to just show up, keep the open bar open. I'll bring something nice for the bride, maybe dance with her mom.

But that's just me, good luck.

Scimitar
04-13-2011, 00:07
In fact, I'll send you a $100 buck to just run away with her, let her family throw a big party for your 1st year anniversary, and you and the wife have no planning to do.

All that is required on your part, is to just show up, keep the open bar open. I'll bring something nice for the bride, maybe dance with her mom.

But that's just me, good luck.

Wet Dog, don't ever let someone tell you you're not a class act.

I always said I'd marry the first girl I found who was more hard headed then I was, and I did.

She's tough as boots but I tell you what, had I gone back into the 18X pipeline 6 months after our wedding, as planned.... (damn you knees!)

Well let's just say I am confident I would not have performed as well as I needed to, with a new bride on my arm.

There's a reason why there was a law in the Torah that a new husband wasn't allowed to go off to war in his first year of marriage... It takes that long for a new husband just to figure out he hasn't got a damn clue what he's doing. :D

But hey what do I know.

Scimitar

LongWire
04-13-2011, 10:18
I am an 18X Candidate that is schedules for SOPC/SFAS Nov/Dec. Maybe over Christmas Exodus?

Your timeline and choices suck!!!! Which one would you prefer to be successful at given the choices that you wrote? Believe that If you make it through SFAS and suck at your wedding, you will never live it down, and will be starting off on a very very bad foot!!! That is of course unless she is truly exceptional. As others have stated, you will have opportunities to excel and take trips you never dreamt of, but at some point her enthusiasm will wane. It would suck to have that right out of the starting gate. Women are fickle, if all she has to focus on is you, what do you think she wants your focus to be on? And don't even go with the "well she said" argument......Women are fickle!!!!!

The women there told me I may or may not. She has seen a cadre give Christmas off but she also said she has seen many candidates training through Christmas. I found that hard to believe and figured I could get some good advice talking to men who have been through something like this.


How long you have you been in service???? You find it hard to believe that you might not get exodus at a time of war???? YOU ARE NOT THINKING CLEARLY!!! PULL YOUR HEAD OUT......You are about to Suffocate!!!!!!

x SF med
04-13-2011, 10:26
Be careful what you choose. I gave up SF and the Army because I thought getting married to my ex-wife was what I wanted. I should have thought harder and stayed in SF. That marriage 'lasted' 17 years, but I later found out she had been cheating on me with multiple guys since before we got married.
And she got all her debt paid off and 1/2 of everything afterwards...

I miss SF every day, her... notsomuch.

Your life, your choices. SOPC/SFAS/SFQC require 115% of everything you have, so does the initial 6 months of a marriage.

Aequitas
04-13-2011, 10:36
You are a grown ass man that should be capable of making tough decisions by now...if not then you probably will have some issues here very soon.

I saw three guys get married during the Q....all still married....I also saw several wait...BOTTOM LINE...it's YOUR decision not someone else's.

Be careful how you react to this thread. People here have awesome amounts of experience and what not, but NONE of them know you or the characteristics of your life or relationship.

You are asking a very loaded question. Good luck in your endeavor...We all know you'll make the right decision!

Fonzy
04-13-2011, 14:24
Good advice being given....You have to make the decisions and no one can predict your future IF you make it through the course. I had been in SF for 5 years before marrying my high school sweetheart. We discussed all (I thought) the possibilities which could take place regarding me being in SF. She was cool with everything we talked about. Three months after getting married I was selected for something I just couldn't turn down. Again she supported me. Five years later and and us being together only 16 months of those five...things changed. I understood and we divorced. We're still friends but not married. I guess what I'm saying is that you can't predict everything. Your career will take you wherever the situation demands and your marriage withstands the demands of being SF or it doesn't.....or you quit.

BTW Glebo....I got THREE OLCs

Gentlemen,
I am absolutely NOT in any way a SF soldier, regardless of future aspirations. Snaquebite's statement reminded me of my own situation; I was deployed *with* my wife on the same base in the same unit. We dated for years beforehand, rarely saw each other when we were deployed, drifted apart, and eventually divorced. I cannot speak for the stresses of the pipeline, but the military alone puts enough stress on a relationship. Nothing is guaranteed - if she loves you now, she'll love you after the Q course. A few of the snuffy's in my truck have long term girlfriends and were asking me about marrying them before the upcoming deployment, I told them the same thing.

I apologize if I'm speaking out of place.

The Reaper
04-13-2011, 15:12
If you are not SF, review the following.

http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=22758

Let me know if the instructions are unclear to you.

TR

turboprop
04-13-2011, 19:57
-You are an 18x going to SOPC/SFAS in November/December, unless your career has taken some unusual turns, it hasn't even started yet.

-Since you are not actually in the Army yet, making plans for your time in the Army is not wise:

In December: You will have hopefully just been selected to continue training, you will also have just PCS'd and undergone a about 1.5-2 months of training that didn't allow a lot of family time. I don't believe the Army will move her until after SFAS, which is for the best, since you will be busy/gone and she won't know anyone. If you are injured/fail in any part of training you may be put on hold and screw up your timeline, and also score some CQ duty during Christmas Exodus. If you fail at SFAS then you may be doing details or taking leave in route to your next duty station, which may not be at Ft Bragg.

Bottom line: You came here for advice, it's up to you whether you use it/agree with it. If I were you I would wait. It will still be an awesome wedding next Christmas time (2012). I understand the bennies of being married for both of you as far as the Army goes, so doing it at the County Clerk (until the big shebang next Crhistmas) may be the best option for you, especially if she is moving to Bragg during your Q-Course. Maybe wait on changing her name till then.

You may not always be able to please everyone, and the Army often makes it very hard. If you can do right by her and yourself, pleasing her family becomes secondary.

MTN Medic
04-13-2011, 20:26
I make a pretty mean meatloaf myself!

I spent the entire SFQC engaged but had the good sense to wait until I graduated to have the wedding. She's very understanding (but her meatloaf isn't as good as mine).:D:D

+1 and I am glad I did it. I was a Delta with long language too.

PRB
04-13-2011, 20:55
marriage during inter-course...nah, pass on it

The Reaper
04-14-2011, 07:22
:D

That reminds me of those African tribes, where you get married and then go to consumate and all the woman of the tribe watch just to make sure you aint lieing.

Doing in front of Mum and Aunt flow......what the hell's the deal with that!?

But I digress.

S

Do you not understand this?

http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=22758

I asked once already.

You do not post in this forum unless you have a Tab, or are asking a question. Period.

Final warning.

TR

MVP
04-14-2011, 09:24
This just scares me

"...she is 100% Greek and the Greek Orthodox take wedding and family to the utmost extremes."

I seriously doubt this girl will go for the SF lifestyle and neither will the family back at home who will be running you down for not being around for family events.

MVP

1stindoor
04-14-2011, 10:17
My .02 cents.
I planned with my wife-to-be our wedding while I was in language school following the Q course. I turned over almost every decision to her. Did it via long distance because she lived in Texas. Found out half way through the course I found out I would be deploying immediately following the wedding. Knowing I wouldn't have time to get her familarized with Ft Bragg, the commissary, the PX, DEERs, etc. I got married immediately following graduation from language school...by the Justice of the Peace in Dillon, S.C. It was just over a month prior to my "real wedding."

About 5 weeks later we drove to Texas, got married, stayed the night in Dallas, got up the next morning, drove back to NC. I left the following day. Welcome to life in SF Mrs. XXXX.

It has already been stated by others more experienced than I, but in my opinion you can plan for the course...or plan for your wedding. You can't do both.

As an aside, my CSM when I asked for leave to go get married, said this to me...
"Why do you want to go do that? I'll tell you what's going to happen, you'll get married, I'll send you down south where you'll find a new love of your life with a permanent tan and bigger boobs, you'll come home to find your wife banging every guy in division trying to earn a battle streamer, and then she'll divorce you and take half your stuff. Still want to get married?"
I said, "Yes Sergeant Major."
He said, "Well...I've done my job and gave you a safety brief....good luck to you."

Buffalobob
04-14-2011, 15:21
About 5 weeks later we drove to Texas, got married, stayed the night in Dallas, got up the next morning, drove back to NC. I left the following day. Welcome to life in SF Mrs. XXXX.]

I'll bet Texas was outside your pass radius. :D

1stindoor
04-14-2011, 15:35
I'll bet Texas was outside your pass radius. :D

Just a bit...and I think there's still some Highway Patrolmen in Texas, Louisiana, and maybe Georgia looking for me.

Team Sergeant
04-14-2011, 17:59
There is an upside to getting married while attending the Special Forces Qualification Course, if you get killed in training she collects!:munchin

Dozer523
04-14-2011, 22:36
My .02 cents. I got married immediately following graduation from language school...by the Justice of the Peace in Dillon, S.C. It was just over a month prior to my "real wedding." Makes me glad that when I went through the Q Coures it took about 6 months. You got all the extra stuff TDY if you were lucky.
Reading this I keep thinking, "You can't get there from here".

The arguement 'If she loves you she'll wait' is hard to believe when the pipeline is now 2 years.
I'm with Brother 1. Grab your sweetie, and find a JOP. To hell with the family and the ohh la lah.
Now if it turns out your sweetie thinks the wedding is more important then the marriage wellllll. . .
(MRFL is still waiting on the honeymoon I owe her. ISYN. I went to Jordan.)

As an aside, my CSM when I asked for leave to go get married, said this to me..." That's just flat out funny.

mhaggs
04-14-2011, 22:46
You really do not need the distraction of a wedding during selection and anyone who has been involved in a long wedding planning exercise will tell you that the questions such as silverware, china, exact words of the ceremony etc cannot be handled without your participation and the problem is no matter how tactful you are by phone or email when you choose the flaming yellow and orange tuxedo, there is going to be nuclear warheads launched. All of this is going on when your thought process should be on how many quarts of fluid have you taken in and expended today and how are you going to pass the land nav when you were up all last night with your darling sweetie discussing whether to have the lobster newburg or the braised chicken.

Your only saving grace is that they take all of your electronic gizmos away from you so sweetie pie honey bunch's mother, the dragon of hell, will be calling the first sergeant wanting to know why you are not answering your phone calls.
,
I should take a stick and beat you with if for reminding me of all those painful conversations when I was trying to take final exams so I could graduate with an engineering degree from Alabama.

I do believe, now that I have more life experiences, that redleg danger close is preferable to wedding planning or perhaps they are the same thing. :D

So 36+ years later, here I sit retired with my wife still working and I have made a meatloaf to bake for our dinner tonight (if she comes home in time) and will zap a couple of potatoes and some green beans.


Thank you for the advise. However, the most disturbing part of this message is the part where you graduate from Alabama ;).

Its tough to make a life changing decision between a career I will love and a women I love. Choosing may be too hard of a word here but I feel as though I may be trying to reinvent the wheel with a Christmas wedding during selection. I would truly never let myself get over standing before the board at selection explaining to them why I performed inadequately periodically through selection because I was worried about a wedding. HOWEVER, I had my 18x contract well before my fiance came a long. She knows, to the best of her understanding, what she is getting into. She is a very independent women who will be living with her mother after she graduates from Auburn this May. She has spend a good deal of time learning about my career choice and what goes into making a soldier. I truly believe she wants this tab as much as I do. As far as not getting married in December. I would still have at least a year of training. I assumed after the wedding I would have time to make the transition to a married man and get her up to Ft. Bragg over a period of time.

She has also waited to apply for jobs until she knows where I will be and when she will be able to move to get a job in the area. I'm trying my best to make this work. Hope it does...I love them both.

LongWire
04-15-2011, 00:06
She has spend a good deal of time learning about my career choice and what goes into making a soldier. I truly believe she wants this tab as much as I do. As far as not getting married in December. I would still have at least a year of training. I assumed after the wedding I would have time to make the transition to a married man and get her up to Ft. Bragg over a period of time.

She has also waited to apply for jobs until she knows where I will be and when she will be able to move to get a job in the area. I'm trying my best to make this work. Hope it does...I love them both.

At this point she may have a better understanding than you.....But there's a whole lot of assumption being done on your part. Once again you aren't thinking this through very well. You need to have your head on straight so that you may focus on the course. A JOP is probably your best course at least until you know what your schedule is going to be like.....all this being said if you do happen to make it through selection!!!!

If all you want is a Tab, then save yourself some sweat and go buy one. They don't cost that much. Hell I'll send you a used one if you give me the shipping and handling......I've got some spares floating around here somewhere.

greenberetTFS
04-15-2011, 07:35
If all you want is a Tab, then save yourself some sweat and go buy one. They don't cost that much. Hell I'll send you a used one if you give me the shipping and handling......I've got some spares floating around here somewhere.

I didn't get a Tab or a Knife when I graduated so if you'll send me "both" I'll pick up the shipping and handling charges...........:D:D:D

Big Teddy :munchin

LongWire
04-15-2011, 08:49
I didn't get a Tab or a Knife when I graduated so if you'll send me "both"

Teddy, I didn't get no knife either, so you will have to ask one of the newer guys!!! :D:D:D

Mike
04-15-2011, 21:16
I did SFTG in 1967.

I recall a bunch of guys who were just married or going to get married.

Memories of that remind me of a smoking nuclear wasteland.
I'm sure some got thru it-surely.

mhaggs
04-17-2011, 18:41
At this point she may have a better understanding than you.....But there's a whole lot of assumption being done on your part. Once again you aren't thinking this through very well. You need to have your head on straight so that you may focus on the course. A JOP is probably your best course at least until you know what your schedule is going to be like.....all this being said if you do happen to make it through selection!!!!

If all you want is a Tab, then save yourself some sweat and go buy one. They don't cost that much. Hell I'll send you a used one if you give me the shipping and handling......I've got some spares floating around here somewhere.

I want much more than a tab, I was simply implying she is backing my desires and decisions of SF 100%, she will make an excellent wife whenever we are able to get married, during the Q-Course or not.

And yes I am a "grown ass man," who realizes the experiences and knowledge of the men and women on this board vast surpass mine. Thus my question about marriage, something vary important in any mans life. Who does not ask for advice in situations such as this. Many of you have had careers in SF and will have good advice for me. Much of with is hard to hear. If you don't mind. If you want to add any more bitter posts to this threat just send me a private message, easier to find them, and laugh.

Buffalobob
04-17-2011, 19:51
the most disturbing part of this message is the part where you graduate from Alabama

She's from Auburn ( and U of A). :D

mhaggs
04-17-2011, 20:36
She is in fact from Auburn, haha.

Pete
04-18-2011, 05:36
......... If you want to add any more bitter posts to this threat just send me a private message, easier to find them, and laugh.

You asked and we responded. Our responses were based on our experiences - as SF soldiers - married or unmarried men.

You will do what you want after reading our input. 10 years from now you'll be able to give your own input on this subject.

The reason most responses are not PMs is so others who have the same question can search and read. What good is it to search and find your question asked but all the answers are "PM inbound - check your box"?

Keep us updated.

Richard
04-18-2011, 06:03
If you want to add any more bitter posts to this threat just send me a private message, easier to find them, and laugh.

Well, there you have it. I suggest you go bother the chaplain for awhile - he gets paid for politely listening.

We'll be glad to hear how your decisions worked out for you...in about 5 years. Good luck.
__
BT

Richard

Guy
04-18-2011, 06:03
There is an upside to getting married while attending the Special Forces Qualification Course, if you get killed in training she collects!:munchinIf he's worried about a wedding with what he has ahead him...I bet money he will NOT make it.:lifter

FIDO & stay safe.

1stindoor
04-18-2011, 07:23
For future reference, this is one of Richard's nicer posts. You'll notice it answered the initial question, offered insight, and offered luck in his chosen path.

I was glad to have waited until I was an experienced SF NCO before attempting marriage, something I think had a powerful influence on us being able to anticipate our 36th anniversary this coming August.

However - it's your path, son, and only you can walk it. Good luck.



Couple that with the OP's snide remark

If you want to add any more bitter posts to this threat just send me a private message, easier to find them, and laugh.

And you get the "Richard" we all have come to know and love

Well, there you have it. I suggest you go bother the chaplain for awhile - he gets paid for politely listening.

We'll be glad to hear how your decisions worked out for you...in about 5 years. Good luck.

LongWire
04-18-2011, 19:11
And yes I am a "grown ass man," who realizes the experiences and knowledge of the men and women on this board vast surpass mine. Thus my question about marriage, something vary important in any mans life. Who does not ask for advice in situations such as this. Many of you have had careers in SF and will have good advice for me. Much of with is hard to hear. If you don't mind. If you want to add any more bitter posts to this threat just send me a private message, easier to find them, and laugh.


Gee dude, sorry. Welcome to our board I hope that you enjoy your time spent here and find the accommodations nice. Please feel free to ask if I can do anything for you, I'm here to help. Beer is in the fridge, let me pop the top for you. Pillow fluffy enough? If you count your cards right, my wife will be along shortly to square us both away ;)

Get real Man. Do I come off callous and harsh at times? Yes, I'm in the Army (something you may find enlightening later). You asked and I supplied an answer. I'm working on my 3rd marriage in 20 yrs of service and figured I could add something.

Not that I'm an expert or anything, but I do know a thing or two about planning. I'm not the hottest at that either, but I do know what a shitty one looks like. Your's could use some refining. For instance your's doesn't take into account for the broken neck that you may suffer by crossing Boone's Fork in the dead of night. Walking the aisle may be a little humbling with a neck brace. Could make for a good story too, but what do I know?

I was trying to help. Take the advice or leave it. Makes no difference to me. Good Luck in your endeavors.

wet dog
04-19-2011, 00:54
For future reference, this is one of Richard's nicer posts. You'll notice it answered the initial question, offered insight, and offered luck in his chosen path.

Couple that with the OP's snide remark

And you get the "Richard" we all have come to know and love

Hey, I offered a $100, with an option to bring something nice to the party and a dance with the bride's mom. Ther're both young, he'll figure it out.

Passing thru Elko, NV the other day, I had the most delicious apple pie at a truck stop out on the highway. When it was served, I kindly thanked the waitress and asked, "Have we ever been married before?" She replied, "No, not that I can remember, enjoy the pie." I said, "Yes mam."

Fifteen minutes later, she returned informing me her shift was over and wondered if she could buy me a cup of coffee and sit awhile.

I politely accepted her offer,.....

1stindoor
04-19-2011, 08:11
... and asked, "Have we ever been married before?" She replied, "No, not that I can remember, enjoy the pie." I said, "Yes mam."

Fifteen minutes later, she returned informing me her shift was over and wondered if she could buy me a cup of coffee and sit awhile.

I politely accepted her offer,.....

Next time, try this one, "You remind me a lot of my second wife." When she asks how many times you've been married...say, "Just once."

Feel free to change the numbers to suit your personal experience.

MVP
06-30-2011, 15:03
The son of one of my co-workers attended the most recent SFAS. Claims he made it through but withdrew after they were told what to expect for the next months. Claims he was not aware of the impacts SF would have on his family life.

I know he spent months preparing for SFAS, can't understand how he missed the OPTEMPO issues...

MVP

Snaquebite
06-30-2011, 15:23
Claims he made it through ...

:rolleyes: Hmmmmm

I find it very difficult to believe he was not aware of the OPTEMPO .....

Shadow1911
06-30-2011, 15:24
Luckily there are no quotas or slots in SFAS. It would be a shame if there was and he took one of them and then quit. Better then than finding it out once he was on a team. Somehow I doubt with that attitude that he could have completed the Q anyway.

Todd Eads
07-27-2011, 20:04
In '97, I had the opportunity to serve as XO at SOCCENT when BG Frank J. Toney was CG. (In 1993, I had met then-COL F.J. Toney, Cdr, 10th SFG(A), as I was preparing to deploy as DCO of Opn Provide Comfort.) When, in ' 97, during the initial conference with BG Toney at SOCCENT, he asked me how my wife was. I told hime"Well, General, she gave me a choice...it was either SF or it was her." I then told him, "General, I sure am gonna miss the ole gal!" He cracked up and then proceeded to tell me that he was on his 4th!!!! Know that now, I am happily married to my dear wife (married 09/01/01, then I was mobed for o'seas deployment for 2 years at the end of '01!!!! Tough woman!!) who has supported me for years (her Dad was a right gunner on a B-29 during WWII...so she know what it means to serve).

Good luck, just know that they are out there...