View Full Version : The Stalker
Your daughter is this attractive young lady who works at a bank, who draws some unwanted attention. She finds out about the unwanted admirer by way of a explicit letter which is left in the night deposit box.
Aside from contacting Law Enforcement, what would you do or advise her?
The Reaper
10-02-2010, 19:13
Your daughter is this attractive young lady who works at a bank, who draws some unwanted attention. She finds out about the unwanted admirer by way of a explicit letter which is left in the night deposit box.
Aside from contacting Law Enforcement, what would you do or advise her?
I would try to discover his identity. Maybe from the cops. There should be video footage in the bank system of the Night Deposit Box.
I would also issue my daughter a can of OC and possibly a handgun. Teach her how to spot someone following her, and know where the safe areas are she can flee to if necessary. Randomize her routines and routes. Make sure she checks in with you when she goes out, and expect a safe return call by a certain time. Make sure the GPS on her phone is on constantly. Consider setting it up as a tracking device. Sounds like he only knows her from work, you do not want him learning where she lives. Make sure that either you or another family member pick her up, or she gets an escort to and from the bank to her car. Spend more time with her if you can. Sounds like it might be a stalker. Hope it is not serious.
Best of luck to you and her.
TR
craigepo
10-02-2010, 22:42
A lot of these nuts are able to find out a lot of information from the internet. If he knows her name, can probably get an address via internet/phonebook. Facebook also gives away a lot of info that should be more confidential.
Might want to re-check her "internet footprint".
I assume that this letter was not a "nice guy" type letter. If he is this forward, there could well be something else going on in his head. If she could figure out an identity, she might want to seek a restraining order. "Stalking" isn't criminal until there is a restraining order in place.
If she has a GPS capable cell phone, and uses internet social sites, make sure she does not directly post pictures taken from her cell phone onto the sites while GPS is active. Unsavory individuals can view the EXIF data of her images, and sometimes find the GPS coordinates of the location the image was taken at- such as her home, or private retreat. A quick cut and paste into Google maps will give the stalker easy to follow directions.
drymartini66
10-03-2010, 01:00
If she were in Washington State, get a conceled weapons permit. Very easy to get here.
Perhaps she could consider getting a private mailbox service - preferably one that is individually owned, as opposed to a chain. Then switch all mail and deliveries to that locale. It is essential that this be a private mailbox service, not a Post Office box. The U.S. Post Office tends to be more fastidious about records, and that is a detriment in this case, at least IMO.
Since there is a form that requires disclosure of one's address, it's nice to get a second mailbox service subsequent to the first, and then transition to service #2, thus adding a further level of ambiguity. Use the first mailbox service as the address of record for the second service. Then let the first mailbox service lapse.
It is possible to switch driver's licenses, credit cards, vehicle registration, and other such official documents to the site.
In addition, get a Google Voice (free!) account so that her telephone number is not directly connected to her. Google Voice keeps track of messages, records them, timestamps them, and generates a transcript of those messages. On those many occasions when one is expected to provide a telephone number, this provides a useful ploy. The telephone number supplied by Google is indistinguishable from a regular number. Better yet - one can make calls through the Google number that don't trace back to her. That could be useful if a stalker attempts to contact her.
Leozinho
10-03-2010, 02:15
I concur with equipping her with OC and perhaps lawful concealed carry. Buy extra OC and PRACTICE with it. In my opinion, she must also receive professional self defense training using pistol if she chooses this route. (Just buying her a handgun that she tosses into her purse is not enough.)
I'd also read and have her readThe Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker, which discusses stalkers and pre-incident indicators.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gift_of_Fear
I agree with all of the above..
I would add some random thoughts..
If your daughter is the person in the bank that is responsible for the nite-drop box. She should get the bank's security involved. The letter could be a test for bank vulnerabilities. Ask/demand the bank provide personal protection as an employee that is being stalked,, possibly to gain access to the banks systems..
Additionally, The FBI should be informed because of the current investigations involving the Eastern EU hacker gang that is using weakness in the banking system to set up wireless scams. This may have been a paper note,, but if they attempted to extend the relationship via email, to her bank email address, they could gain access via viruses in attachments like pictures.
http://www.mobile-tech-today.com/story.xhtml?story_id=0010003I9IFF
Net-Net,, If this is a loan stalker,, or some kid with real love-jones,, it's a local LEO problem..
But if the bank is the target, it becomes a Federal problem and may warrant a much higher level of LEO involvement.
Hopefully it is some kid with the love-jones and bad diction.
Good Luck..
Team Sergeant
10-03-2010, 11:32
Make her aware of possible ambush/conflict points, walking to and from her car is a big one, to and from the gym, grocery store etc. Outside her front door, anywhere she might be alone if only for a minute.
Ensure 911 is on speed-dial and her phones GPS is turned "on". Have her attend a women's self defense classes in her area.
What to do in case of a confrontation, she'd better practice. There's a reason we say people will default to their training in a high stress situation, but without training you are the prey/sheep.
If she gets a gun she needs the training to go with it. Get her one of those "carry concealed" purses (just google conceal carry purses) that she can be holding a can of OC of the grip of a pistol without anyone noticing. (There's stuff out there now that worse than OS spray.)
What's she going to do if butthead jumps into her car with a gun? She floors it and deliberately crashes it into the first very solid object she can hit before butthead can buckle up. She will probably be fine if she's wearing her seatbelt, she will not be fine if she drives to a secluded location where butthead orders her to....
Hire a private detective to find/expose him before he confronts her. Then let him know you know his name, address and the type of toothpaste he uses. Also let him know you have a .44 magnum, duct-tape, rope, hood and number #10 cans already filled with cement for that "special occasion".
Your daughter is this attractive young lady who works at a bank, who draws some unwanted attention. She finds out about the unwanted admirer by way of a explicit letter which is left in the night deposit box.
Aside from contacting Law Enforcement, what would you do or advise her?
Paslode,
Along the lines of the incredible advice in this thread...
Here is a quality, proven pepper spray, that I puchased for female self defense, thanks to advice from QP's here:
"Fox Labs is the nastiest, most powerful stuff I have seen." TR
http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=16223&highlight=female+defense
http://www.foxlabs.net/Products.html
The company is great, and will ship testers with her order, for her to practice with. (Just make sure she is outside, in a very open deserted area, 'cause it still has a kick!)
Holly
http://www.foxlabs.net/Products.html
Looks like Fox is a com now..
http://foxlabs.com/pepperspray.shtml
Looks like Fox is a com now..
http://foxlabs.com/pepperspray.shtml
JJ,
Thank You, Sir! :o
Great product, IMVHO.
Holly
A lot of these nuts are able to find out a lot of information from the internet. If he knows her name, can probably get an address via internet/phonebook. Facebook also gives away a lot of info that should be more confidential.
Might want to re-check her "internet footprint".
I assume that this letter was not a "nice guy" type letter. If he is this forward, there could well be something else going on in his head. If she could figure out an identity, she might want to seek a restraining order. "Stalking" isn't criminal until there is a restraining order in place.
http://www.ncga.state.nc.us/enactedlegislation/statutes/pdf/bysection/chapter_14/gs_14-277.3a.pdf
If she is in NC, she doesn't have to wait until she has a restraining order before he can be charged with Stalking. The first time is an A1 Misdemeanor. If he does anything after a conviction for that, it becomes a felony. The letter and a history of unwanted harassment; following; etc. would be enough to prove the misdemeanor charge.
http://www.kslegislature.org/legsrv-statutes/getStatute.do?number=24349
It appears that what would be a misdemeanor criminal offense in NC is a civil offense in Kansas. It states a civil hearing would take place with the burden of proof being on the complainant.
It appears to be a male, possibly with love-jones, whom possibly found his pick up lines on the walls of a toilet stall.
I appreciate all the insight and comments, we have some work to do....Plan for the worst, hope for the best.
Make sure the GPS on her phone is on constantly. Consider setting it up as a tracking device.
Would this be a good means for a concealed secondary tracking device?
http://www.accutracking.com/
Stingray
10-05-2010, 02:13
I concur with equipping her with OC and perhaps lawful concealed carry. Buy extra OC and PRACTICE with it. In my opinion, she must also receive professional self defense training using pistol if she chooses this route. (Just buying her a handgun that she tosses into her purse is not enough.)
I'd also read and have her readThe Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker, which discusses stalkers and pre-incident indicators.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gift_of_Fear
+1 on "The Gift of Fear." It is mandatory reading for the ladies in my family.
Sincerely,
I agree with all the above. Paslode, I hope your daughter will be safe. I will keep her in my prayers and I hope you live in a state that takes stalking seriously. Whether he is a making attempts on the bank itself or she is seriously the object of his affection, please make every attempt to ID this creep and give her all the means of protection that are available.
I was the victim of a stalker back in the late 80s when I was in junior college. Unfortunately, there were no laws to protect me and repeated threats from my friends did nothing to deter this jerkoff! I had to change my schedule from day classes to night classes. It got so bad that I ended up having a panic attack on the way to school one evening. I had to have a couple of my biker friends escort me. Eventually, I had to move out of state but he continued to harass my family. Eventually, he stopped probably because he found another object of his affection, who knows. This was my payment for being his tutor in English. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
I agree with all the above. Paslode, I hope your daughter will be safe. I will keep her in my prayers and I hope you live in a state that takes stalking seriously. Whether he is a making attempts on the bank itself or she is seriously the object of his affection, please make every attempt to ID this creep and give her all the means of protection that are available.
I was the victim of a stalker back in the late 80s when I was in junior college. Unfortunately, there were no laws to protect me and repeated threats from my friends did nothing to deter this jerkoff! I had to change my schedule from day classes to night classes. It got so bad that I ended up having a panic attack on the way to school one evening. I had to have a couple of my biker friends escort me. Eventually, I had to move out of state but he continued to harass my family. Eventually, he stopped probably because he found another object of his affection, who knows. This was my payment for being his tutor in English. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Taking it seriously....they do in their jurisdiction, but the probably Johnny Love in question is apparently out of the Local PD's jurisdiction. And even if said John Love was in said jurisdiction the likely first course of action would be a restraining order........:rolleyes: And the local PD would put them under surveillance for awhile.
At this point it is up to the Young Lass to mind her P's and Q's, and heed the warnings and advice she has been given.