View Full Version : No Sex since 1955
Got an email today from an old friend, too funny....
NO SEX SINCE 1955
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major and asked, 'Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very Serious man, is something bothering you?'
'Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature.'
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action?''
''Yes,ma'am, a lot of action.' The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, 'You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.'
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.
Finally the young lady said, 'You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?' '
'1955,' he replied.
'Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need To chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955, really?" She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to 'relax' him several times.
Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest And Said, 'Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955.'
The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, 'I hope not; it's only 2130 now.'
drymartini66
09-19-2010, 23:10
That is a long time.:D
Peregrino (http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/forums/showpost.php?p=100767&postcount=1) ;)
Pat
Peregrino (http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/forums/showpost.php?p=100767&postcount=1) Wet Dog is a FOG and probably off his meds...:p
We should cut the brother a break
Dozer523
09-20-2010, 03:12
Wet Dog is a FOG and probably off his meds...:p
We should cut the brother a break It's been five Looooong years. This joke deserved retelling. I just don't understand why he wasn't a crusty old Team Sergeant. :D
Could we change the SGM to a Ranger next time???
:D:munchin:D:lifter
Dozer523
09-20-2010, 04:42
Could we change the SGM to a Ranger next time???
:D:munchin:D:lifter If we did, the joke couldn't have anything to do with sex.
A crusty old Team Sergeant found himself at a gala event, hosted by a
local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young,
idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Team Sergeant for conversation.
http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/forums/showthread.php?p=106635&highlight=Sex+1955#post106635
At a pentagon ball, a crusty old sergeant major is appoached by a beautiful, fresh out of college, idealistic young reporter.
http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=10158&highlight=Sex+1955
Been around the block a couple of times...
Richard :munchin
Dozer523
09-20-2010, 06:06
how 'bout . . .
A freshly minted Team Leader found himself at a gala event, hosted by a
local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young,
idealistic . . .
Oh wait, when we get to the punch line it sort of gets lost when
. . . The TL said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, 'I hope not; Mickey's big hand is on the 6 and his little hand is near the 9 now.'
1stindoor
09-20-2010, 09:01
how 'bout . . .
. . . The TL said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, 'I hope not; TOP?...What does it mean when...Mickey's big hand is on the 6 and his little hand is near the 9 now.'
Fixed!
greenberetTFS
09-20-2010, 11:12
Got an email today from an old friend, too funny....
NO SEX SINCE 1955
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major and asked, 'Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very Serious man, is something bothering you?'
'Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature.'
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action?''
''Yes,ma'am, a lot of action.' The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, 'You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.'
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.
Finally the young lady said, 'You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?' '
'1955,' he replied.
'Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need To chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955, really?" She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to 'relax' him several times.
Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest And Said, 'Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955.'
The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, 'I hope not; it's only 2130 now.'
wet dog,
Couldn't have been a Sergeant Major,that rank wasn't established until 1957....:rolleyes::eek::p
Big Teddy :munchin
drymartini66
09-20-2010, 15:19
wet dog,
Couldn't have been a Sergeant Major,that rank wasn't established until 1957....:rolleyes::eek::p
Big Teddy :munchin
So no sex since 1957? I think it could still work.
ZonieDiver
09-20-2010, 15:25
In a similar vein:
A college sociology professor is conducting a survey in his large Intro to Sociology class in regard to "frequency of sexual activity" amongst his students.
He asks how many have sex more than 3 times a week, and many hands go up.
He asks how many have sex twice a week, and even more hands go up.
He asks how many have sex once a week, and quite a few hands go up.
He asks how many have sex 2-3 times a month, and a few hands go up.
He asks how many have sex once a month, and a couple hands go up.
He asks how many have sex only once a year... and ONE hand goes up in the rear of the classroom. The young man with his hand up is giggling madly.
The professor says, "Young man, IF I had sex only ONCE a year, I don't think I'd be laughing!"
The young man replies, "Yeah, but tonight's the night!" :D
wet dog,
Couldn't have been a Sergeant Major,that rank wasn't established until 1957....:rolleyes:
Big Teddy
His watch was slow.
Have you EVER known a SGM to be on time ???? :rolleyes:
Jeeeezzzzzzzzz :rolleyes:
Couldn't have been a Sergeant Major, that rank wasn't established until 1957.
The earliest mention of the sergeant major rank in the fledgling United States Army was soon after assuming command of the Continental Army in 1775, General George Washington and his staff standardized the table of organization for the infantry regiment, patterning it after the British Army. They included the position of sergeant major to each regiment or battalion headquarters, along with a noncommissioned officer element.
<snip>
In an attempt to reduce costs in June 1920, Congress eliminated the position of sergeant major by grouping enlisted members into seven pay grades (E-1 through E7). The senior noncommissioned officer in an organization for the next thirty-eight years was the senior master sergeant.
<snip>
...the Military Pay Bill of 1958, which recommended establishing two new enlisted pay grades E-8 and E-9, the "supergrades." In April 1959, the first NCOs were promoted into the newly created rank.
The History of the Sergeant Major
SGM Daniel K. Elder
The United States Army Museum Of The Noncommissioned Officer @ http://www.ncohistory.com/files/SGMhistory.pdf
Richard :munchin