On your next flight

[Oldrotorhead]

>Someone sent this to me I think it is funny but if anyone thinks it's offensive please delete.

Subject: When Sitting Next To A Jerk On An Airplane!


>
> What to do when you sit next to a jerk on an airplane. (or any where else
> for that matter.)
>
> 1. Take out your laptop.
>
> 2. Slowly open your laptop.
>
> 3. Turn it on.
>
> 4. Make certain your neighbor is watching.
>
> 5. Open your internet browser.
>
> 6. Close your eyes for a few moments, open them and then look up to the
> sky, or the heavens if you will.
>
> 7. Breathe deeply and open the site
> http://www.myit-media.de/the_end.html
>
> 8. Look at the expression on your neighbor's face.

[PedOncoDoc]

It looks like a good way to get dogpiled, your flight redirected, arrested for insighting a panic (if you survive said dogpiling), and put on the no-fly list.

[GratefulCitizen]

Subject: When Sitting Next To A Jerk On An Airplane!



Use his rectum to suppress the explosion about to come from in his laptop.

[Red Flag 1]

It looks like a good way to get dogpiled, your flight redirected, arrested for insighting a panic (if you survive said dogpiling), and put on the no-fly list.
Agreed! You might just as well yell ,"this is a hijack", same results.

RF 1

[f50lrrp]

Although this solution is not politically correct (or otherwise advisable) it is FUNNY!

[nmap]

The solution is funny!

However...if you really want to torment someone...find some specialized area of knowledge, learn it fairly well, and add extensive supporting literature on the machine.

Then insist on talking about it. The more boring and arcane the information, the better.

(Evil grin!)

[BigJimCalhoun]

I annoy my wife on United by repeating the cockpit instructions from the tower to the pilot when listening to their audio.


"He is telling the pilot to expect Runway 25 Right"
We are now descending to 11,000 feet and have been instructed to maintain 260 knots.
We may hit turbulence behind a Boeing 777:
etc....


I actually enjoy listening to it and I am not trying to annoy her, but she has no interest in it.
;)

[akv]

A friend who travels a lot told me the best way to be left alone on a plane or train is to say you are an insurance salesman, probably less likely to get you monkey stomped too...:)