bravo22b
06-19-2010, 08:05
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/17/fashion/17BFF.html?src=me&ref=homepage
But increasingly, some educators and other professionals who work with children are asking a question that might surprise their parents: Should a child really have a best friend?
Most children naturally seek close friends. In a survey of nearly 3,000 Americans ages 8 to 24 conducted last year by Harris Interactive, 94 percent said they had at least one close friend. But the classic best-friend bond — the two special pals who share secrets and exploits, who gravitate to each other on the playground and who head out the door together every day after school — signals potential trouble for school officials intent on discouraging anything that hints of exclusivity, in part because of concerns about cliques and bullying.
“I think it is kids’ preference to pair up and have that one best friend. As adults — teachers and counselors — we try to encourage them not to do that,” said Christine Laycob, director of counseling at Mary Institute and St. Louis Country Day School in St. Louis. “We try to talk to kids and work with them to get them to have big groups of friends and not be so possessive about friends.”
“Parents sometimes say Johnny needs that one special friend,” she continued. “We say he doesn’t need a best friend.” :eek:
I don't even know where to begin with this... unless it is directly affecting a student's conformance to school rules or academic work, why on earth should teachers or school administrators be trying to tell a kid who they can be friends with?
And where the f&@k do they get off dictating to a kid that it is better to have a larger group of less close friends than a smaller group of friends that you can actually trust and/or rely on? My 37 years of experience have pretty much proven to my satisfaction that it is hard to find good people who you can count on to have your back no matter what. I would much rather have a handful of people who you can legitimately call "friends" than a whole pile of people who most people might call friends but I would call "acquaintances".
WTF is this country coming to? I don't have children (yet), but I don't think I could send them to a school that would engage in this kind of unnecessary and unwanted social engineering.
But increasingly, some educators and other professionals who work with children are asking a question that might surprise their parents: Should a child really have a best friend?
Most children naturally seek close friends. In a survey of nearly 3,000 Americans ages 8 to 24 conducted last year by Harris Interactive, 94 percent said they had at least one close friend. But the classic best-friend bond — the two special pals who share secrets and exploits, who gravitate to each other on the playground and who head out the door together every day after school — signals potential trouble for school officials intent on discouraging anything that hints of exclusivity, in part because of concerns about cliques and bullying.
“I think it is kids’ preference to pair up and have that one best friend. As adults — teachers and counselors — we try to encourage them not to do that,” said Christine Laycob, director of counseling at Mary Institute and St. Louis Country Day School in St. Louis. “We try to talk to kids and work with them to get them to have big groups of friends and not be so possessive about friends.”
“Parents sometimes say Johnny needs that one special friend,” she continued. “We say he doesn’t need a best friend.” :eek:
I don't even know where to begin with this... unless it is directly affecting a student's conformance to school rules or academic work, why on earth should teachers or school administrators be trying to tell a kid who they can be friends with?
And where the f&@k do they get off dictating to a kid that it is better to have a larger group of less close friends than a smaller group of friends that you can actually trust and/or rely on? My 37 years of experience have pretty much proven to my satisfaction that it is hard to find good people who you can count on to have your back no matter what. I would much rather have a handful of people who you can legitimately call "friends" than a whole pile of people who most people might call friends but I would call "acquaintances".
WTF is this country coming to? I don't have children (yet), but I don't think I could send them to a school that would engage in this kind of unnecessary and unwanted social engineering.