View Full Version : Summer Classes for Women
Kyobanim
05-12-2010, 09:51
THE
ADULT LEARNING CENTER
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
By Friday October 30, 2010
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM..
Class 2
Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
At 7:00 PM
Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 wks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
You have an ex-wife don't you??? Because I bet you don't have a current wife with the stuff you have been posting lately.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
The diplomas for the survivors, are they for the ladies or their spouses/boyfriends? :)
Bill Harsey
05-12-2010, 10:36
You have an ex-wife don't you??? Because I bet you don't have a current wife with the stuff you have been posting lately.
That was kinder than I thought it would be.
Kyobanim
05-12-2010, 10:39
You have an ex-wife don't you??? Because I bet you don't have a current wife with the stuff you have been posting lately.
Did I strike a nerve?
:)
THE
ADULT LEARNING CENTER
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
Um Kyo Sir, you forgot one!!!
Class 13
101 Things to do with a Glowing Neon Green Sword, (and it's owner.)
Practical hands-on demo's provided.
Meets 1wk, Monday-Friday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Heheheheehe:D
Holly--->running for cover...
PedOncoDoc
05-12-2010, 10:57
Class 13
101 Things to do with a Glowing Neon Green Sword, (and it's owner.)
Practical hands-on demo's provided.
Meets 1wk, Monday-Friday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Isn't that course just a "Cliff's Notes" for the Kama Sutra? :D
(Running for cover myself!)
Red Flag 1
05-12-2010, 11:28
Did I strike a nerve?
:)
You're on a roll Kyo!!:D.
RF 1
Destrier
05-12-2010, 12:15
Class 13
Time Management (The true meaning of making a Hard Time)
Field trip Labs required, meeting 5 week nights at 1800 hours for vehicle movement to lab site.
Class requirement: Comfortable walking footwear, watch, map of foot route for those missing 1800 vehicle hard time
Instructor suggested reading: A watch.
Class 13
Never Go To Bed Angry. Learn six special techniques for plotting revenge.
Meets Mondays & Wednesdays at Guido's. Knock twice on the door in the alley.
Isn't that course just a "Cliff's Notes" for the Kama Sutra? :D
(Running for cover myself!)
Hell No Doc!!!:D
No, for the information of all of the opposite gender, the course is what it says it is! Hehehehe
Holly---> Gathering my intel on Chuck Norris as we speak.......;)
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
I just got back from a three week trip to India, in which I traveled all over the country. Not sure how many have been to India, but you can't travel from say Bangalore to Leh, without first going through Dehli. This is important later in the story....
So my suitcase for the trip is packed for hot and cold weather. Rather large suitcase. Agra and Dehli this time of the year are about 110. Leh is about 32. So our "home station" is the hotel in Dehli. While travelling to the other locations, big suitcase stays back at the hotel, while backpack with appropriate uniform, change of underwear etc.. and a BIG ASS purse travel with me. I got ragged on the first few days for carrying my suitcase like purse.
I can't tell you how many times during said trip with 4 other military members (all men) and 7 contractors (all men) did I hear "Allison did you pack any bottled water, I forgot mine" You don't drink the water in India, and if offered bottled water you check to make sure the seal hasn't been broken, because 9 times out of 10 they refill the water bottles. So Allison always carried at least 3 water bottles in her LARGE purse.
"Allison I am getting eaten alive by misquitos, did you bring any bug spray" to which bug spray magically appeared out of the BIG ASS purse.
"Allison, I cut myself, I know you have a first aid kit in the big ass purse of yours that you insist on carrying with you every where we go, can I get some antibiotic ointment and a bandaid"
"Allison, one of the guys ate something he shouldn't have, can we steal some of your imodium and a Cipro"
By the 10th day, I decided to teach them all a lesson, and packed everything I needed in my ABU pockets, and didn't bring my Suitcase-like purse. There were a lot of very unhappy campers that day, and it wasn't me. I was well hydrated, plenty of sun screen and DEET, a couple of tabs of imodium if needed....
I didn't hear another word bitching about by BIG ASS purse the remainder of the trip.
That was kinder than I thought it would be.
No need to beat someone about the neck and shoulders when a gentle tap to the back of the head will do.;)
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
I just got back from a three week trip to India, in which I traveled all over the country. Not sure how many have been to India, but you can't travel from say Bangalore to Leh, without first going through Dehli. This is important later in the story....
So my suitcase for the trip is packed for hot and cold weather. Rather large suitcase. Agra and Dehli this time of the year are about 110. Leh is about 32. So our "home station" is the hotel in Dehli. While travelling to the other locations, big suitcase stays back at the hotel, while backpack with appropriate uniform, change of underwear etc.. and a BIG ASS purse travel with me. I got ragged on the first few days for carrying my suitcase like purse.
I can't tell you how many times during said trip with 4 other military members (all men) and 7 contractors (all men) did I hear "Allison did you pack any bottled water, I forgot mine" You don't drink the water in India, and if offered bottled water you check to make sure the seal hasn't been broken, because 9 times out of 10 they refill the water bottles. So Allison always carried at least 3 water bottles in her LARGE purse.
"Allison I am getting eaten alive by misquitos, did you bring any bug spray" to which bug spray magically appeared out of the BIG ASS purse.
"Allison, I cut myself, I know you have a first aid kit in the big ass purse of yours that you insist on carrying with you every where we go, can I get some antibiotic ointment and a bandaid"
"Allison, one of the guys ate something he shouldn't have, can we steal some of your imodium and a Cipro"
By the 10th day, I decided to teach them all a lesson, and packed everything I needed in my ABU pockets, and didn't bring my Suitcase-like purse. There were a lot of very unhappy campers that day, and it wasn't me. I was well hydrated, plenty of sun screen and DEET, a couple of tabs of imodium if needed....
I didn't hear another word bitching about by BIG ASS purse the remainder of the trip.
Okay A.....
You saved the day!;) And bet that any of those big bad boys on that trip would say the same thing, cha-ching!!!!!:lifter
Rock-On!!!
Holly
The Reaper
05-12-2010, 21:59
I can't tell you how many times during said trip with 4 other military members (all men) and 7 contractors (all men)....
Were these AF men?:D
No rucks among them?
TR
Were these AF men?:D
No rucks among them?
TR
Of the 4 military members 3 were AF and 1 was Army. Of the 7 Contractors 2 have never been in the military, 3 were prior AF and 2 were prior Army.
I'm sure you meant to say Army Finance Corps. ;)
Of the 4 military members 3 were AF and 1 was Army. Of the 7 Contractors 2 have never been in the military, 3 were prior AF and 2 were prior Army.
Bravo A!!!!
Kick some Ass!!!!!!!:lifter
Holly
p.s.......Kyo....Where are you, Sir?;)
spherojon
05-13-2010, 19:06
Class 14:
How to ask for what you want.
Book required: "Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!"
Meets M-W-F 3:00pm-5:00pm.
Class 15:
Conversational Law: Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
Tuesdays 1:00pm-3:00pm
Class 16:
Art History: There are only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
Thursdays 1:00pm-3:00pm
Bill Harsey
05-13-2010, 22:04
Here is the real truth.
No.1 Women don't need any stinking classes. If they want to learn something they will do it on their own.
No.2 Women are like wild animals that sometimes act tame.
You all have seen the stupid tourist that thinks the cute fuzzy full grown grizzly bear is nice enough to take food from his hand while someone gets video that will later be used in the death investigation? That kind of tame.
No.3 Men, always take the time to listen carefully to any woman speaking to you especially if your married to her.
No.4 Never, and I mean NEVER, while listening carefully, ask "Was that a touchdown!!!" Refer back to no.2
some of the above is not theory.
Do you all know why Brides wear White at their wedding?
To match the other kitchen appliances!
Do you know why women’s feet are smaller than men’s feet?
Evolutionary design to help them stand closer to the kitchen sink when they wash the dishes.
The wife asked me for a new watch for her birthday…I asked her if the clock on the microwave was broken.
….now I run for cover!!!!:eek:
LibraryLady
05-15-2010, 15:42
...
I married a smart one, I think. One of the very first gifts I received from him was a purse... 3 times the size of the one I was currently carrying! :rolleyes:
He's always suggesting more things I can carry in my purse. For me, he says. Riiiight... :rolleyes:
LL
Here is the real truth.
No.1 Women don't need any stinking classes. If they want to learn something they will do it on their own..
Mr. Harsey, Your knives are beautiful, truly a work of art Rock On.:lifter
Holly
Here is the real truth.
No.1 Women don't need any stinking classes. If they want to learn something they will do it on their own.
No.2 Women are like wild animals that sometimes act tame.
You all have seen the stupid tourist that thinks the cute fuzzy full grown grizzly bear is nice enough to take food from his hand while someone gets video that will later be used in the death investigation? That kind of tame.
No.3 Men, always take the time to listen carefully to any woman speaking to you especially if your married to her.
No.4 Never, and I mean NEVER, while listening carefully, ask "Was that a touchdown!!!" Refer back to no.2
some of the above is not theory.
Let me guess.....
.....your Wife was leaning over your shoulder when you wrote this, right? ;)