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Richard
01-16-2010, 10:39
At the UPS cargo phone center where I once worked, a woman called and said, "I need a baseball quote."

I immediately answered with Yogi Berra's famous "It ain't over 'til it's over!"

There was a brief moment of silence before the woman asked, "What was that?"

"You asked me for a baseball quote," I responded, "and that was the first thing that came into my head."

"Oh," she replied. "My husband told me to call and get a baseball quote."

I asked if she wanted to ship something, and she said she did. Then it dawned on me, "Do you mean you want a ballpark figure?"

dennisw
01-16-2010, 11:46
That's a good one. I guess words do mean something. Thanks for sharing.

ZonieDiver
01-16-2010, 18:11
Best bb quote: "Beisbol has been berry, berry good to me." - Chico Escuela on SNL

Dozer523
01-16-2010, 18:33
Best bb quote: "Beisbol has been berry, berry good to me." - Chico Escuela on SNL

Nope, bro. . . This is the greatest Baseball quote,
Crash Davis: Well, I believe in the soul, the . . . , the . . . , the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.
[pause]

Bull Durham. A movie about Baseball, loving something that dosen't love you back, and life.

Oh heck. and this one, same movie. Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: "A good friend of mine used to say, 'This is a very simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains.' Think about that for a while."

ZonieDiver
01-16-2010, 19:00
Nope, bro. . . This is the greatest Baseball quote,
Crash Davis: Well, I believe in the soul, the . . . , the . . . , the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.
[pause]

Bull Durham. A movie about Baseball, loving something that dosen't love you back, and life.

Oh heck. and this one, same movie. Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: "A good friend of mine used to say, 'This is a very simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains.' Think about that for a while."

True, but I can never remember that one. "A mind is a terrible thing to waste." Or, to quote Dan Quayle's version... "It's terrible when you lose your mind." :D

Razor
01-19-2010, 10:43
I'm pretty certain its "There's no crying in baseball!". :D

Dozer523
01-19-2010, 10:52
I'm pretty certain its "There's no crying in baseball!". :D
If yur a gurl.:D

Razor
01-19-2010, 11:07
If yur a gurl.:D

Or so foolish as to believe you can actually manage a group of them. :boohoo

HowardCohodas
01-19-2010, 11:51
A couple of my favorites.

I don't know why people like the home run so much. A home run is over as soon as it starts.... The triple is the most exciting play of the game. A triple is like meeting a woman who excites you, spending the evening talking and getting more excited, then taking her home. It drags on and on. You're never sure how it's going to turn out.

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in.

Baseball is the only sport I know that when you're on offense, the other team controls the ball.

Baseball is the only place in life where a sacrifice is really appreciated.

Sandy's fastball was so fast, some batters would start to swing as he was on his way to the mound.

I became a good pitcher when I stopped trying to make them miss the ball and started trying to make them hit it.

And ...

Confucious say: "Baseball wrong - man with four balls cannot walk."

Baseball, it is said, is only a game. True. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona.

Sdiver
01-19-2010, 12:34
"There's a Hit....it could be fair....it could be fowl.....IT IS !!!!!"........Harry Carry.

Counsel
01-19-2010, 13:37
"Lady, I'm not an athlete. I'm a professional baseball player." ... John Kruk

Nice :D

SF-TX
01-19-2010, 13:40
Yogi Berra is in a league of his own. Here are all of some of his quotes:

Baseball is ninety percent mental. The other half is physical.

He hits from both sides of the plate. He's amphibious.

I always thought that record would stand until it was broken.

I don't know (if they were men or women fans running naked across the field). They had bags over their heads.

I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.

I didn't really say everything I said

Ninety percent of this game is half mental.

You should always go to other people's funerals, otherwise, they won't come to yours.

You can observe a lot just by watching.

We made too many wrong mistakes.

You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going because you might not get there.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

pjody187
01-19-2010, 14:08
Anything by Earl Weaver.

Dozer523
01-19-2010, 22:10
OH don't get me started. . . my favorites , in no particular order, except the first which is well, the first.

People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring. ~Rogers Hornsby

When they start the game, they don't yell, "Work ball." They say, "Play ball." ~Willie Stargell, 1981

Good pitching will beat good hitting any time, and vice versa. ~Bob Veale, 1966

Every hitter likes fastballs, just like everybody likes ice cream. But you don't like it when someone's stuffing it into you by the gallon. That's what it feels like when Nolan Ryan's thrown balls by you. ~Reggie Jackson

I've come to the conclusion that the two most important things in life are good friends and a good bullpen. ~Bob Lemon, 1981 (Which is why I hang around here and live in St Louis.)

The other sports are just sports. Baseball is a love. ~Bryant Gumbel, 1981

Hitting is timing. Pitching is upsetting timing. ~Warren Spahn

It ain't nothin' till I call it. ~Bill Klem, umpire

Hey Big Teddy What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series? No cubs. ~Harry Caray

The best way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until the ball stops rolling and then pick it up. ~Bob Uecker

[A knuckleball is] a curve ball that doesn't give a damn. ~Jimmy Cannon

Ryanr
01-19-2010, 23:38
I asked if she wanted to ship something, and she said she did. Then it dawned on me, "Do you mean you want a ballpark figure?"

I'm just impressed that you managed to figure out what she was asking for. :p