A few things about living in Florida

[armymom1228]

*A FEW THINGS ABOUT LIVING IN FLORIDA*

"Down South" means Miami or Key West

"Panhandling" means going to Pensacola.

You think no one over 70 should be allowed to drive.

Flip-flops are everyday wear.

Shoes are for business meetings and church.

No, wait, flip flops are good for church too, unless it's Easter or
Christmas.

Sweet tea can be served at any meal.

An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.

You smirk when a game show's "Grand Prize" is a trip or cruise to Florida.

You measure distance in minutes.

You have a drawer full of bathing suits....and one sweatshirt.

You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.

All the local festivals are named after a fruit.

A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.

You think everyone from a bigger city has a northern accent.

You know the four seasons really are: almost summer, summer,
not summer but really hot and Christmas.

It's not soda, cola, or pop...its coke, regardless of brand or flavor, "What kinda coke you want?"

Anything under 95 is just warm.

Anything under 70 is chilly.

You've hosted a hurricane party.

You go to a theme park for an afternoon and know when to get on the best rides.

You pass on the right and honk at the elderly.

You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.

You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee Withlacoochee, and Chassahowitzka properly. ( You know that Immokalee is 'my camp' in Miccasukee.)

You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat than have a boat yourself.

Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you include: various fish, NRA, Go Gators/'Noles and a confederate flag.

You were 8 before you realized they made houses without pools.

You were 12 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.
(or throw a fit when you find out your 6yr old granddtr cannot yet swim)

You get angry when people say "Florida isn't really part of the SOUTH"

You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas. (or gone to the beach and had christmas dinner as a picnic)

You know what the "stingray shuffle" is and why it's important!

You carry Adolph's meat tenderizer in your beachbag and know why you do.

Socks are only for bowling

Orange juice from concentrate makes you vomit

Tap water makes you vomit

You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes

A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store but everything to do with shade.

Your winter coat is made of denim. (what is a winter coat?)

You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites

You're younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65

You could swim before you could read

You have to drive north to get to The South

You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix

Every other house had blue roofs in 2004-2005

You've gotten out of school early on Halloween to trick or treat before it got dark

You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.

You dread lovebug season.

You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren't Hurricane Charley, Hurricane Frances...but Charley, Frances, Ivan and Jeanne, Wilma,
Or Donna,( Camille, Hugo, and so on.. some were not fla 'canes. )

You know what a snowbird is and you hate them. (or rather want them to leave, that is leave thier money and go home)

You know why flamingos are pink.

You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.

You were 12 before you ever saw snow or you still haven't.

() <---my comments

[Costa]

I laughed at more than a few of these....:D

[Spartan359]

I laughed at more than a few of these....:D

+2. I'm stealing this. :D

[Costa]

to add:

You know the difference between an alligator and a crocodile... and a caymen.

When discussing where you live with someone from out of state, they reply: " I know where that is! My grandparents live there!"

You're familiar with "jungle cats".

You've had wild boar and it's pretty good, so long as you cook it right.

[Saturation]

You can easily identify a swamp buggy and airboat- bonus if you've been on either.

You hum a few bars of "Old Folks at Home" when crossing the Suwannee River- bonus if you can sing a bit of it.

You pronounce My-am-E as My-am-ah.

[akv]

You can now identify the different types of big African Pythons? :eek:

[armymom1228]

You can easily identify a swamp buggy and airboat- bonus if you've been on either.

You hum a few bars of "Old Folks at Home" when crossing the Suwannee River- bonus if you can sing a bit of it.

You pronounce My-am-E as My-am-ah.

yes, yes, and yes I do pronounce it My-am-uh... I also frequently forget and say "Cayo Hueso".

you can correctly pronounce Alachua and Chassahowitzka.
(uh-latch-chew-way and Chass-uh-witz-kuh)

you know that Alachua means 'grassy water' and Immokalee means 'my camp' in Miccasukee.

You know that the Devil's Millhopper is a sinkhole in north fla.

you know the difference between Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings and Majorie Stoneman Douglas.

You know where Two Egg and Spuds, Fla. are located. :D


trivia: Old Folks at Home was originaly written as PeeDee, not Suwanee. The PeeDee River being in SC.

[Tatonka316]

Armymom!

This is AWESOME!!! I have shared it with all my friends and family in Florida and they loved all of them!!! Well done!

molon labe
:lifter

[armymom1228]

Down South is Key West

You smirk when a game show’s ‘Grand Prize’ is a trip or cruise to Florida.

You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.

You have your own private hurricane evacuation route off the keys and straight up the center of the state on backroads mapped out. (yes I do).
YOu have your own private hideyhole in the Little Shark River all set to memory in the GPS and have used it to hide from hurricanes.

YOU might be a Conch if you know about the Grotto to St Mary in Key West and have left a candle there for her during hurricane season. (that one is for jj)

You recognize Miami-Dade as ‘ Northern Cuba.

You know what the “stingray shuffle” is, and why it’s important! (Watch out for the cloudy water too, that’s where the sharks are)

You don't think its at all odd to see someone peeing on someone's foot or tossing adolph's meat tenderizer on a kid who is hopping around crying at the beach. (jellyfish stings).

Tornadoes/Tornado warnings don't scare you, and you laugh when your friends from outside of Florida get scared by lightning.

You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee, Withlacoochee, Okahumpka and Loxahatchee.
Not to mention Thonotosassa, Ichetucknee and Wewahitchka -- and you know:
Which one is strictly for tourists.
Which one is best in hot weather.
Which one means 'two big eyes looking up at the sky'.
Which one is a rest stop

Christmas sweaters are worn only for pictures, then you change into a tank top.

You know why they call the panhandle "Lower Alabama"

Winter coat? You mean my hoodie sweatshirt?

You move your beach towel the second a Dorito falls out of a tourist's hand - seagull attack!




A few more from post-2004/5 hurricane season.

...You think of your hall closet/saferoom as "cozy".

...Your pool is more accurately described as "framed in" than "screened in".

...Your freezer in the garage now only has homemade ice in it.

...You no longer worry about relatives visiting during the summer months.

...You too haven't heard back from the insurance adjuster.

...You now understand what that little "2% hurricane deductible" phrase really means in your homeowner's policy.

...You're putting a collage together on your driveway of roof shingles from your neighborhood.

...You were once proud of your 16" electric chain saw.

...Your street has more than 3 "NO WAKE" signs posted.

...You now own more than 5 large ice chests.

...Your parrot can now say "hammered, pounded and hunker down".

...You recognize people in line at the free ice, gas and plywood locations.

...You stop what you're doing and clap and wave when you see a convoy of power company trucks come down your street.

...You have the personal cell phone numbers of the managers for: plywood, roofing supplies and generators at Home Depot on your speed dialer.

...You've spent more than $20 on "tall white kitchen bags" to make your own sand bags.

...You're considering upgrading your chainsaw from 16" to 20".

...You know what "bar chain oil" is.

...You're thinking of getting your wife the hardhat with the ear protector and face shield for Christmas.

...You now think the $6000 whole house generator seems like a reasonable investment.

...You look forward to discussions about the merits of "cubed, block and dry ice".

...Your therapist refers to your condition as "generator envy".

...You fight the urge to put on your winter coat and wool cap and parade around in front of your picture window, when you finally get power and your neighbor across the street with the noisy generator doesn't....

[armymom1228]

While looking for more of this stuff I found a Miami list..
When my Latino freinds ask me if speak spanish I usualy reply Spanglish.. lol...

You know you're from Miami when...

you live 15 minutes from the beach, but you never go

the car behind you honks their horn because you stopped at a red light

you know you can't get a job without speaking Spanish
*Some* Spanish, at least. .

you instinctively buy gallons of water during hurricane season, just in case
It's not instinct, it's on the checklist that you can pick up for free at any grocery or hardware store.

you're so used to craziness that very few things surprise you anymore

you know never to buy mangos or avocados at a grocery store because you grow them in your backyard
We had a huge mango tree in our backyard and our neighbor had enough avocado trees to bathe in guacamole. We also had a grapefruit tree, a navel orange tree, and a tangerine tree -- until the county came and took them away during yet another citrus canker eradication.

your shrimp, lobster, and designer purses all come from one place: some guy's trunk in Hialeah


you have to put on the invitations "starts at 2:30pm " when the event really starts at 3:30pm just so people actually get there on time.
Or you've shown up at 7:00pm when the invitation said 7:00pm, and the host was almost as confused as you were.
And some of my own: you know Miami Spanglish if...

You invite friends to "pass by" instead of "come over".


Nothing you can buy at Starbucks will ever be as sabroso como una colada de café, or as cheap.


You've pointed at something and asked ¿Quejeso?


This example makes perfect sense: "I shared a duplex con my familia but other amigos I knew rentaron un efiche. They had to pagar casi the same and had solo one cuarto! Days después I got mi tarjeta con el número del Social and a few semanas later pude landear un better job."


And even if you don't know proper Spanish, you've learned how to pronounce cafetería, and you know what you'll find in a carnecería, in a mueblería, and in a ferretería.

[armymom1228]

You can now identify the different types of big African Pythons? :eek:

You know that Eglin AFB has a resident population of cobras, or did. ( The snake NOT the car. )