View Full Version : Hard Times
bigcat524
09-18-2009, 09:38
First off, thank you for allowing me to address you guys.
I often get the chance to talk with young men that struggle when facing adversity; most of these guys tuck their tails and run when times get hard. When you guys got or get into situations where the outcome looked bleak, what gave you the ability to push through? If you were going to tell someone advice on facing adversity, what would you suggest?
Team Sergeant
09-18-2009, 10:05
I can build a brave, barrel-chested Special Forces warrior, but it cannot be done if the individual lacks motivation, character or the moral fiber required.
We call that an "inner toughness" or what has been referred to on here many times as "mindset".
I'm not psychologist but I would venture to say that that mindset we look for is imbued early in life by parents, teachers, coaches etc.
Do a search on here for mindset and read.
Team Sergeant
Blitzzz (RIP)
09-18-2009, 10:20
First off, thank you for allowing me to address you guys.
I often get the chance to talk with young men that struggle when facing adversity; most of these guys tuck their tails and run when times get hard. When you guys got or get into situations where the outcome looked bleak, what gave you the ability to push through? If you were going to tell someone advice on facing adversity, what would you suggest?
What are hard times for some are but a new challenge for others. Learning to make a hardship a challenge means to face it and assess it, decide to beat it,and then beat it.
Any ground lost is ground that must be retaken.
Maintain an attitude of being unbeatable.
Anything used to cause you grief is meerly a tool that can be used by you also.
Don't deflect but embrace hardships as building blocks to manhood.
Always keep in mind what a "man" really is.
The "value" of a man is the benefits to his family and comunity, the "Worth" of a man is the reliability and strength of his "word".
Just a few of Blitzzz's.
longrange1947
09-18-2009, 10:24
Mind set and belief in yourself. Self assurance is critical, if you do not beleive in yourself, and rely on yourself, and those around you, then your inner support is gone.
I agree with TS, mind set is obtained or lost early in life. Too many times parents will kill the "spirit" in a child through word and deed. A kid can only hear so often that he is expected to fail until he feels that is the only out come that is available. They shy away from challenges and run from adversity.
That spirit can be regained in many cases but only through strong mentoring and support.
My 2 cents. :munchin
Either you have the fire or you do not. I spent 10 yrs in the Navy and failed at almost everything I tried to accomplish. Ultimately, I had to leave the service because I was dieing inside from frustration. But through all those years, I kept trying to make shit work. It just did not. I adjusted my goals and ended up in SF. Then I had problems in the Q but kept plodding along. Eventually I succeeded at something I wanted. The thing is, I spent years getting beat down, but I always kept plodding on. Inside me is something that is too stupid to quit. I don't know where it comes from or why it is, but it is there and always has been.
x/S
tom kelly
09-18-2009, 23:14
First off, thank you for allowing me to address you guys.
I often get the chance to talk with young men that struggle when facing adversity; most of these guys tuck their tails and run when times get hard. When you guys got or get into situations where the outcome looked bleak, what gave you the ability to push through? If you were going to tell someone advice on facing adversity, what would you suggest?
Tough Times Never Last..... Tough People Do. & There is no formula for success, Do your best and never quit.... tom kelly
Dragbag036
09-19-2009, 01:09
Mind set and belief in yourself. Self assurance is critical, if you do not beleive in yourself, and rely on yourself, and those around you, then your inner support is gone.
I agree with TS, mind set is obtained or lost early in life. Too many times parents will kill the "spirit" in a child through word and deed. A kid can only hear so often that he is expected to fail until he feels that is the only out come that is available. They shy away from challenges and run from adversity.
That spirit can be regained in many cases but only through strong mentoring and support.
My 2 cents. :munchin
Another phrase that could be used in this case is intestinal fortitude - courage and perseverance; grit; pluck: a euphemism for “guts”. I have to agree with Rick, as a young lad my father didn't just say "great job" all the time. Sometimes he would tell me I needed to try harder, train harder, and never give up. Too many kids think today that they all should get a medal, how can you learn from failure if no one fails? Leading by example is always a great motivator.
My 2 cents.
I can build a brave, barrel-chested Special Forces warrior, but it cannot be done if the individual lacks motivation, character or the moral fiber required.
We call that an "inner toughness" or what has been referred to on here many times as "mindset".
I'm not psychologist but I would venture to say that that mindset we look for is imbued early in life by parents, teachers, coaches etc.
Do a search on here for mindset and read.
Team Sergeant
Just as TS wrote, I was going to say something along these lines too.
I see a lot of guys going through the Q course and within Companies that can "Make it or not make it" is based off upbringing. How that person deals with life problems.
Maybe somewhere back 10 to 15 years ago kids growing up didn't have to cut the grass any more, stop working around the house. I don't know. Sports and karate whatever it is that hardens a person in their youth makes them deal with life’s problems better. IMO
This play’s true within the military, guy’s that just go through military deals on the down low don’t handle the stresses of combat as well as other’s that have pushed themselves in Training. Whether it’s in schooling or training events or exercises soldiers need to push themselves to better themselves in the real “world”.
First off, thank you for allowing me to address you guys.
I often get the chance to talk with young men that struggle when facing adversity; most of these guys tuck their tails and run when times get hard. When you guys got or get into situations where the outcome looked bleak, what gave you the ability to push through? If you were going to tell someone advice on facing adversity, what would you suggest?
Watch 300, a few more times. When you wish you could have been there for the battle your starting to get the right mind set.:D THIS IS SPARTA !!!!!!
Snaquebite
09-19-2009, 07:46
I always like this story....
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as though one problem was solved a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen.
She filled three pots with water.
In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans.
She let them sit and boil without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners.
She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.
Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?"
"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.
She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma.
The daughter then asked. "What's the point, mother?"
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity--boiling water--but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique; however, after they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level?
Scimitar
09-19-2009, 08:31
Another phrase that could be used in this case is intestinal fortitude - courage and perseverance; grit; pluck: a euphemism for “guts”. I have to agree with Rick, as a young lad my father didn't just say "great job" all the time. Sometimes he would tell me I needed to try harder, train harder, and never give up. Too many kids think today that they all should get a medal, how can you learn from failure if no one fails? Leading by example is always a great motivator.
My 2 cents.
There's a guy out of Penn State who has been undertaking some interesting work on "Learnt failure" and how to deprogram the negative scripting. Practical stuff too; it's beginning to be used in corporate, which is a good sign of its practicallity.
I can drag up the references if there's interest.
Cheers
Scimitar
There are a lot of reasons I am grateful for this site. This thread is one of them.
Team Sergeant
09-19-2009, 08:42
Watch 300, a few more times. When you wish you could have been there for the battle your starting to get the right mind set.:D THIS IS SPARTA !!!!!!
We think alike.
Feb 2000 I officially retired.
9-11-2001 I had "reverse" post traumatic stress syndrome.
When someone asks me: "What mindset does a Special Forces soldier possess?" I tell them "Special Forces guys are the type that would shoot "their buddy" in the thigh just to take his spot on a dangerous mission."
Belief in yourself and belief in the mission - and the rest happens.
Nil desperandum.
Richard's $.02 :munchin
Some people simply don't have the concept "give up."
No need to complicate it.
How I sees it, anyway.
Utah Bob
09-24-2009, 12:45
Everyone has a breaking point. Everyone. But some remain broken while others attempt to stand again.
Can't really explain it. It's either there or it isn't. I suspect if it's there, it's there from birth.
bigcat524
09-25-2009, 07:48
Thank you all for the advice. Many of the kids that I teach and coach come from very dim situations, I have taken much of what you passed to me and passed it to them. I printed off some of your quotes and put them up around my classroom and fieldhouse. I know that this will not solve any of their problems, but maybe it will have a positive influence on their mindsets.
blue02hd
09-25-2009, 14:35
When you guys got or get into situations where the outcome looked bleak, what gave you the ability to push through? If you were going to tell someone advice on facing adversity, what would you suggest?
Nothing looks Bleak unless you allow it to. Nothing is over before it begins.
In those times where I was seriously concerned I would look to my left and right and realize I have a job to do and that others are relying on me to do that job. It helped me focus on my task at hand.
I hope that makes sense,,,,