Richard
08-01-2009, 15:11
I figured we could all use a good chuckle over the DHS and the MSM - this one is from Garrison Keillor's Liberty, a novel of Lake Wobegon as the town prepares for a glorious Fourth of July celebration.
Richard's $.02 :munchin
Chapter 16 - Explosives
Clarence brightened up. Fireworks was his big love, after Arlene. "It's going to be spectacular. With eighty-five grand in the budget. We never had that kind of dough before. How'd you ever get money from the Department of Homeland security?"
"Well, they wanted to give us a bomb disposal unit, which we didn't need, so we asked for rockets instead. We saved them about fifty thousand dollars. They're not called fireworks, by the way; they are 'aerial diversion devices.' A-D-D. Ten-inch diameter shells that go up fifteen hundred feet."
"Yeah, but this hits the headlines and you and me are gonna be getting our pictures in the paper, coming out of the courthouse holding hats over our faces."
Clint stood up and adjusted his pants. "The war on terror is a real war and a big part of any war is morale. This is a war without a front line. We're all in it and we need morale builders lest we give up and just hunker down and wait for Islamic extremists to come in and blow up the water tower. People need to remain vigilant and vigilance is the hardest thing there is. To be on the lookout for strangers to give you odd packages. Strange cars circling through town at night. Olive-skinned men who inquire about landing areas. We need people to be on the lookout. So we're building community spirit so people will be watchful for suspicious activities."
"Where did you learn to bullshit like this?"
"All I know is what I see on television," he said.
Richard's $.02 :munchin
Chapter 16 - Explosives
Clarence brightened up. Fireworks was his big love, after Arlene. "It's going to be spectacular. With eighty-five grand in the budget. We never had that kind of dough before. How'd you ever get money from the Department of Homeland security?"
"Well, they wanted to give us a bomb disposal unit, which we didn't need, so we asked for rockets instead. We saved them about fifty thousand dollars. They're not called fireworks, by the way; they are 'aerial diversion devices.' A-D-D. Ten-inch diameter shells that go up fifteen hundred feet."
"Yeah, but this hits the headlines and you and me are gonna be getting our pictures in the paper, coming out of the courthouse holding hats over our faces."
Clint stood up and adjusted his pants. "The war on terror is a real war and a big part of any war is morale. This is a war without a front line. We're all in it and we need morale builders lest we give up and just hunker down and wait for Islamic extremists to come in and blow up the water tower. People need to remain vigilant and vigilance is the hardest thing there is. To be on the lookout for strangers to give you odd packages. Strange cars circling through town at night. Olive-skinned men who inquire about landing areas. We need people to be on the lookout. So we're building community spirit so people will be watchful for suspicious activities."
"Where did you learn to bullshit like this?"
"All I know is what I see on television," he said.