View Full Version : Wife's Birthday
Gentlemen (and ladies...especially ladies!)
My wife's birthday is about 2 months out, and I am at a total loss as to what to get her. My first thought would be a vacation, but I am currently deployed, which puts a stop to that idea. I have always found good advice and knowledge on this site, and would appreciate any input that anyone may have. Need to keep her happy until I go to Selection next year:cool: I've been a member here for about a year; generally try to stay under the radar, lurk and learn. I've used the search feature for this topic, but to no avail; if I've missed something, I'm sorry, and would appreciate being pointed in the right direction.
This is our first deployment, I've been in country for about 2 months, and we've been married for about 6.
Thanks!!!!
Dozer523
05-07-2009, 08:33
Gentlemen (and ladies...especially ladies!)
My wife's birthday is about 2 months out, and I am at a total loss as to what to get her. My first thought would be a vacation, but I am currently deployed, which puts a stop to that idea. I have always found good advice and knowledge on this site, and would appreciate any input that anyone may have. Need to keep her happy until I go to Selection next year:cool: I've been a member here for about a year; generally try to stay under the radar, lurk and learn. I've used the search feature for this topic, but to no avail; if I've missed something, I'm sorry, and would appreciate being pointed in the right direction.
This is our first deployment, I've been in country for about 2 months, and we've been married for about 6.
Thanks!!!! Pardon me, but I think you need to keep her happy for the rest of her life. But, I think you were getting ahead of yourself, when you've been Married 22 years I'll bet you see this a little differently. :D Next, let me offer this idea about SF "relationships", Use the ship analogy. Wives can be viewed as ports or anchors. Ports are fun (Windjammer Cruises) Ports can be safe ("port in the storm") Ports can be welcoming (Home Ports and Ports of Call) Anchors are more protective in the "need it right now" sort of way. They hold you in a spot so things can get done -- repairs, rest and fun -- you don't always want to have to drive the boat. An anchor holds you in place, keeps you safe, and keeps you attached to something. Anchors fail only under the most intense pressure. You can alway get kicked out of a port or depart on the tide.;) In my case, my marriage started as a port of call, quickly changed into a home port /sea anchor and now is an anchor. I'm not tied to the wharf. And I'm definitely not mothballed. yet.
So back to what to get her -- married two years and you are away now and away will be a big part of your future relationship. Hmmmm. Diamonds are not going to do it. You have to give her you. Totally and without reservation. Hand written letters (stumbling, clumsy, "gawd-I-hope-noone-but-my-wife-ever-see-this tend to be the best). Barring that give her kids. Then be a great dad.
On second thought give her diamonds too -- like a watch. Something, she will use and look at often especially when you are away. A reminded of the time you promise when you are home.
Of course I may be wrong, this is my second marriage:p
I am going to have to agree with Dozer on the letters. I was thinking the exact same thing, but he beat me to it.
Some of my most precious possessions are the letters I have from my husband while we were away from one another, whether it be my deployment or his. No mushy cards, just words from his heart. I take them out and read them when I am missing him.
As far as jewelry is concerned, have you thought about an eternity ring? It is a ring with three stones signifying your past, your present, and your future together.
Utah Bob
05-07-2009, 09:56
Married 40 years. When I was in Nam all I could send was a letter on her birthday. We had been married a little over a year then.
What you give her isn't important. Telling her how you feel about her is.
Puertoland
05-07-2009, 09:59
Tiffany's, a love letter, and chocolate. Then take her out to dinner to some place decent.
Not married, but I've yet to disappoint my Lady whenever I get her jewelery, write something nice, and give a bit of candy. I usually do roses and just cook, but every once in a while I'll take her out to one of the nicer restaurants down here.
Either that, or send her a video where she can see you crushing your enemies and watch them driven before you whilst listening to the lamentation of their women.
Your choice. Hope she enjoys whatever it is you get her.
Dozer523
05-07-2009, 11:05
Roses are nice too. Unless. . .
You were attending CAS Cubed at FT Leavenworth while the Disciplinary Barracks still opperated the greenhouse. Long stemmed roses (red, yellow or white) 10cents a piece. Was dating/engaged. Met her at the Kansas City Airport with TWO DOZEN Long Stemmed Roses. I was SO GOLD! Until she learned . . . then I was a :eek:scam artist ! (They were still roses, honey:rolleyes:) we parted ways soon after. (cue Garth Brooks "Unanswered Prayers")
Met MRFL (My Reason For Living) Second date, arrived with flowers (just regular florist type < $15 -- daysies IIR) .
SEZ MRFL: "Oh, thanks. Don't get me wrong, but I really am not that nuts about flowers, they just die; you can save your money, but I DO like these ones." I never bought her flowers again until I was deployed and I had them sent to her office. BUT, over the years I have planted gardens that included hundreds of daffodils. MRFL's favorite color is yellow.
Lots of "littles" is better then a "big".
Team Sergeant
05-07-2009, 11:12
Yeah yeah yeah, look, get her what I got my first wife for her "first birthday", a vacuum cleaner, some fancy dish towels and a nice digital weight scale for her side of the bathroom.;)
TS
Dozer523
05-07-2009, 11:21
Yeah yeah yeah, look, get her what I got my first wife for her "first birthday", a vacuum cleaner, some fancy dish towels and a nice digital weight scale for her side of the bathroom.;)
TS I think I might see something you missed. . . :)
Yeah yeah yeah, look, get her what I got my first wife for her "first birthday", a vacuum cleaner, some fancy dish towels and a nice digital weight scale for her side of the bathroom.;)
TS
What a smart ass!!! Were you able to write this with a straight face???
Utah Bob
05-07-2009, 11:39
Yeah yeah yeah, look, get her what I got my first wife for her "first birthday", a vacuum cleaner, some fancy dish towels and a nice digital weight scale for her side of the bathroom.;)
TS
At last. Some reality is inserted.:D:D
I am going to have to agree with Dozer on the letters. I was thinking the exact same thing, but he beat me to it.
Some of my most precious possessions are the letters I have from my husband while we were away from one another, whether it be my deployment or his. No mushy cards, just words from his heart. I take them out and read them when I am missing him.
As far as jewelry is concerned, have you thought about an eternity ring? It is a ring with three stones signifying your past, your present, and your future together.
Agree on the from the heart letters. Hand written! Poems even...yeah, a poem.
However, afchic, since I'm a fan of eternity bands and a bit if a jewelry freak I'll make a slight correction.
The 3 stone band is the ring with 1 larger diamond in the middle and two smaller (generally, though they can be the same size) representing past, present and future.
An eternity band is a complete circle of diamonds all the way around. No beginning...no ending. ;)
Bill Harsey
05-07-2009, 17:46
I hate to correct this very august group but...
...just get her a new rifle and some cartridges to match.
The Reaper
05-07-2009, 18:40
I hate to correct this very august group but...
...just get her a new rifle and some cartridges to match.
I thought you said you gave her a chainsaw?
TR
Bill Harsey
05-07-2009, 19:26
I thought you said you gave her a chainsaw?
TR
That was an anniversary gift. Brand new Husqvarna with 24 inch bar and Oregon Pro chain. :lifter
The Reaper
05-07-2009, 19:40
That was an anniversary gift. Brand new Husqvarna with 24 inch bar and Oregon Pro chain. :lifter
You are a true romantic, Bill.
TR
x SF med
05-07-2009, 20:07
Yeah yeah yeah, look, get her what I got my first wife for her "first birthday", a vacuum cleaner, some fancy dish towels and a nice digital weight scale for her side of the bathroom.;)
TS
I have to agree with TS - vacuum cleaner was an early gift to my wife, she's since gotten knives, tents, flashlights... and she loves them. Letters are the topper though, from the heart are the best.
(since TS has no heart he can't write those kinds of letters - and after writing this, next time I see him, I will probably have what's left of my heart removed with a very dull and dirty spoon after dinner)
The best gift I've heard of was Dr. Walter E. Williams' Christmas gift to his wife a couple of years ago.
Golf shoes!
She didn't play golf, but they kept her from slipping while shoveling snow off the driveway. :lifter
Pat
I appreciate all the responses from everyone. So, handwritten letter, shiny ring, and a rifle with cartridges... .270?:munchin
Just kidding, she's not so much a weapons enthusiast. Thanks for the input!
Also she would probably do more damage to me with the vaccuum than with the rifle...yes, I married a feisty one.
armymom1228
05-07-2009, 21:26
You have 2 months to go. Why not pick up a journal. Does not have to be anything fancy a spiral notebook will do even. Start to write her a 'letter a day' tell her about your day just like you would if you were home.. talk to her, tell her how much you miss her, your feelings towards her.. all the mushy stuff you home NO one ever reads but her. She will love it..phone calls and emails are gtg, but that journal is gold.
Jewelry is good.. can you get anything decent local to the country? The kind she can say, "he bought it for me there, isn't it pretty" kind of thing.
My son has given me some stunning antique Afghani necklaces and bracelets from his deployments. They are treasures to me.. but then I Like the more unusual stuff.
my parents called each other 'honey' to the day he died...he was 'your honey' on anything he had to sign to her.. The last anniversary he bought her a bracelet.. mom likes silver and turquoise stuff.. it was in a box wrapped in tissue..when she opened it up, she could see the bracelet framed the words, "I love you, your honey"... It was lovely and romantic.. It was their 56th and last anniversary. Mom still has that box with the tissue in it.. and the ring box with the same words on tissue with her original wedding ring.. from Nov. 1940... its those small things that one treasures.
Let us know what you decide. ;):)
AM
Team Sergeant
05-08-2009, 09:59
I have to agree with TS - vacuum cleaner was an early gift to my wife, she's since gotten knives, tents, flashlights... and she loves them. Letters are the topper though, from the heart are the best.
(since TS has no heart he can't write those kinds of letters - and after writing this, next time I see him, I will probably have what's left of my heart removed with a very dull and dirty spoon after dinner)
At the age of 17 I joined the US Army Airborne Infantry. Some guys get tat's when they become Paratroopers, I had my heart removed and replaced with an "M57 Firing Device Electrical".;)
Now you know the "rest of the story".
Team Sergeant
...my parents called each other 'honey' to the day he died...he was 'your honey' on anything he had to sign to her.. ...
You call them all "Honey". That way a wrong name don't slip out at a bad time.
You call them all "Honey". That way a wrong name don't slip out at a bad time.
There's no better way to get a long weekend off to a great start than by addressing the woman you're with by another woman's name.:o
Or so I've heard.:munchin
armymom1228
05-09-2009, 05:35
You call them all "Honey". That way a wrong name don't slip out at a bad time.
mmmmmmmmmmmm interesting:eek: So....you are telling me that you....
that, Sir, is way to TMI.:D
I got for my Mom's Day gift from my three bratlings... a day at a very expensive spa.. I was thrilled. I might never leave the massage table. :p I thought I would add that .. that a day at a very nice spa also can make a great birthday present. You are there, and send her off to be spoiled for an entire day here. To find one around where you live, you might have to enlist a co-conspirator.
mmmmmmmmmmmm interesting:eek: So....you are telling me that you....
that, Sir, is way to TMI.:D
I was 32 and a MSG when I got married to my wife.
A lot of Old History prior to that.
I thought I would add that .. that a day at a very nice spa also can make a great birthday present. You are there, and send her off to be spoiled for an entire day here. To find one around where you live, you might have to enlist a co-conspirator.
+2 to this, but I also really like the suggestion of letters.
If you do something like a spa-day and you've got kids - PLEASE find arrangements for the kids for her. That makes/breaks the gift IMHO.
My husband has generally stunk at buying gifts and so over the past 10 years I've just taken to buying what I want and informing him of his very generous gift to me. He is very good about writing letters, poems, etc so that makes up for it. They are the things I hang on to and remember anyway.
greenberetTFS
05-09-2009, 10:15
I agree that letters should be the answer, when I was in Germany in the late fifties a phone call would have cost a fortune so that was out of the question......:rolleyes: Ah,but a "Yarborough Knife",now that would be something she will treasure for the rest of her life........:) Trust me,she will love it................;) Been married 50 years, I wouldn't lead you astray..........
GB TFS :munchin
I appreciate all the responses from everyone. So, handwritten letter, shiny ring, and a rifle with cartridges... .270?:munchin
Just kidding, she's not so much a weapons enthusiast. Thanks for the input!
Also she would probably do more damage to me with the vaccuum than with the rifle...yes, I married a feisty one.
Onward,
When I was married a long, long, time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away...my husband at the time gave me things he made with his own two hands, and they were more precious to me than flowers or jewelry. (He was a welder.)
If you have access to raw materials, a nice home-made gift from your AO might be just the thing!:cool:
JMHO,
Holly
Edit to add: And thank you for your service!!!
Dozer523
05-09-2009, 16:42
Echos, we're men bi-pedal in that galaxy? Listen to this gurl.
Weld her something pretty!:p
KKHH:D
6.8SPC_DUMP
05-09-2009, 17:37
Yeah yeah yeah, look, get her what I got my first wife for her "first birthday", a vacuum cleaner, some fancy dish towels and a nice digital weight scale for her side of the bathroom.;)
TS
Another thing I leaned from TS is QP's don't have to work as hard to get the hotties :p
I'm an awful "gift giver", so at the risk of a well placed liver shot from members who have been happily married before my voice cracked, here is what helped me overcome the short coming. :munchin:D
Listen to what she WANTS.
Flowers: I give my fiance a potted flower plant every couple weeks b/c it lasts and is a reminder whenever she opens the back door. (of the house)
I know that you are bravely overseas and don't mean to be insensitive to the fact that you cant plant it yourself.
Poems: I can't write poems for the life of me - but if I read a few romance poems I get an idea of how to totally reword them and still convey all the stuff that they love.
Jewelry: You can get a lab made diamond at a fraction of the cost of a real one. I got in trouble for not mentioning it wasn't dug up by a heroin addicted African warlord slave.
The diamond industry is a scam anyway...
I'm looking for poems to "reword' for mothers day right now.
Thanks for your service and also the sacrifice your girl makes for our country too. GL!
Added:
Not sure that putting other peoples ideas in your words constitute deception, if you are trying to convey those feelings, but you can't please everyone.
Onward!
First, thank you for your service and I hope you come home safe and sound to your wife!
Secondly, I think the ideas of Dozer and AM are great...LETTERS! Letters in a journal, something you can maybe add a few pictures to or a pressed leaf or flower (I know thats girly...but it's romantic too). I can guarantee you that it will make her heart swell with joy. And who knows <shrugging> maybe it will start a tradition between the two of you as the years progress.... you write to each other in the journal(s)...something like that would be quite a keepsake! If you add poetry, please make sure it's either yours or you add the name of the author...don't try to rewrite anyone else's.....{I promise that would not go over well if she discovers the deception ( :eek: )}.
Good luck and I hope you two have a great reunion and have celebrating her birthday ...as well as yours later on!!! :)
I appreciate everyone's input -- thank you! So here's what I've decided on; a bag of some sort, woven from 550 cord. I've been working on a journal, with my terrible handwriting. I'm also going to pick her up a terabyte external hard drive, because I've always felt that gifts should be in some way useful. And, of course, I'll have the classic flowers sent to her -- she loves stargazer lilies.
Also, the book "What to Expect When You're Expecting", as she has just told me that she's pregnant. The next great adventure...and a future high-speed soldier.:lifter
I appreciate everyone's input -- thank you! So here's what I've decided on; a bag of some sort, woven from 550 cord. I've been working on a journal, with my terrible handwriting. I'm also going to pick her up a terabyte external hard drive, because I've always felt that gifts should be in some way useful. And, of course, I'll have the classic flowers sent to her -- she loves stargazer lilies.
Also, the book "What to Expect When You're Expecting", as she has just told me that she's pregnant. The next great adventure...and a future high-speed soldier.:lifter
Wow Onward! Those sounds like wonderful gifts...and something made of your hands as well? Awesome.
CONGRATS ON THE NEWS!!!!!!!! Wish her and the baby much luck and great health!!
Saoirse
The greatest asset you possess is time. It's extremely exspensive and you can never get lost time back. Having said that, I would suggest a gift that represents your desire to be near her while you are away, something to remind her of you. Obviously a child will do that, but now she will need your help while you are away.
What I did for my wife while I was a younger man traveling to beautilful and not so beautiful locations, was the journal. I spent many hours writing to her before I left, I pre-dated each entry. Each Sunday or once a week, she had a note from me. I also left letters in secluded locations, the pantry shelf, the garage near the furnance with instructions to re-light when out, how to shut-off the sprinkler system when it got cold, etc. After the "instruction", I closed with a note that said she was great, that I missed her and that I was proud of her. She became a Great Army wife, my "port" for all the right reasons. She also felt empowered by her independence in not asking for help from family or overly taxing friends. She knew that if I felt she had it under control at home, I would not worry about her and I could keep my mind on more important things like not getting shot, or graduating from another Army school.
But the last bit of advise, do not, under any circumstance buy something with a handle or that requires batteries, (i.e., electric meat cutter, or appliance).
I built a very cool hammock during the course of one deployment and finished it at home before another. It was made with over 1000' of soft nylon cord, slightly bigger that 550. It was tight and I was able to practice every conceivable knot to the known world. I braced the ends with hardwood, Brasil at one end and Thailand at the other. I put in under a shade tree and she rocked the little guy endlessly. Still got it.
ALL of the above are terrific suggestions.
This June will mark my 45th Wedding Anniversary. I married the same woman three times. I wont go into detail on that. Point is, like Ive stated, all of the suggestions offered are good ones. I would like to add just one more. She's pregnant, so after the lil guy arrives, I would suggest a "Mothers Ring" or sometimes called a family ring. Its funny the effect that shiny rocks have on women.
Just my .02
Ret10Echo
05-21-2009, 06:11
I've lined-up a couple of Spa-days for my wife over the years. Internet search for what is close to home...set it up by email etc.
She seemed to really enjoy it because it was "all about her" for that day....
Its funny the effect that shiny rocks have on women.
Just my .02
So Mr. Harsey's ideas are out for now...
Darn. Guess I need another excuse to ramp up the household arsenal.:boohoo
Though I do believe there'll be the need for a new handgun in the house while I'm home on R&R. The Remington 870 is going to be a bit much for her soon, and she doesn't like Glock:lifter
armymom1228
05-21-2009, 07:14
Also, the book "What to Expect When You're Expecting", as she has just told me that she's pregnant. The next great adventure...and a future high-speed soldier.:lifter
CONGRATULATIONS! That is simply great news! You sure its a boy-child? You guys seem to have a lot of girls for some odd reason. :p
In that journal, add an extra paragraph to your child. Tell them how you feel about them and thier impending arrival. Years now, your kid will read it and know how much they were wanted. It can mean all the world to a child. It will be words they will carry with them all thier life.. You can also reference back to that time when they try your patience...I wanted this brat why? oh yeah, I wrote this.... :)
Can't offer advice on what to give her for the impending birth.. MY father gave my mom a 1942 45 harley for my brothers birth and a shotgun when they adopted me.. brother ended up with the gun, I got the scooter when I turned 16... I got a sailboat when my eldest was born and the other two were mine so I gave myself things like toolboxes and outboards... :D
Stargazer Lillies... lovely, quite lovely.. and as someone else said, we women mosdef like sparkly shiny objects.
CONGRATULATIONS! That is simply great news! You sure its a boy-child? You guys seem to have a lot of girls for some odd reason. :p
Armymom; girls can be soldiers too! My wife is also enlisted, and quite the killer. At least, now that she has a key to the gun safe, I don't plan on doing anything to piss her off...
And I'm looking into the shiny objects now; not my forte!
Good choices, and congrats on the baby news! :)
Dozer523
05-21-2009, 20:26
"My reason For Living" and I were married about 3 weeks before I deployed with 1/5th on a 6 week trip to a place in the Middle East. This was in the late 80's and our host didn't want it to get around to his neighbors we were invited for a sleep-over. So the training was all in very out of the way places which was GREAT. And we were not allowed to call (cell phones had not been invented!) E-mail was in the 'huh" stage. And we were told 'no mail". But my bride of 3 weeks? So I wrote 6 letters before we left. All sort of "Hi Babe, the weather is still hot, and I don't think it ever rains here. The training is GREAT and the guys are doing GRReat, and the folks from here are GREAT and I'm just having the GREATEST time . . . All except for missing you. . . Then I dished out a lot of mush. Each ran about three pages. Stuck them in envelopes, addressed them with stamps, and gave them to a friend's wife. She promised to mail one every monday. And did. What a GRRRRREAT plan!
What I forgot was the BN CO's wife was a GREAT Mom and took good care of her junior wives ESPECIALLY the brand new ones. At a coffee MRS was giving all the high lights of what the husbands were doing. MRFL pipes up with "Oh, Dozer is having a GREAT time. He loves it over there. The weather is Great the training is Great the guys are doing Great and the hosts are Great. . ." Not one of the experienced wives said a word to my Fresh Off The Boat Blushing Bride.
20 minutes after we hit the ground I was summoned to the BN Cdrs office. (And the mission had really, really gone GREAT for me). Report to the CO. "Dozer, my boy, talk to me about OPSEC."
Sez Me, something erudite like "huh?"
Sez BnCO, "Did you not know there was to be no communication home while we were gone and yet your new bride received a bright cheery newsy letter from you EVERY Tuesday like clockwork. I'm . . . listening. . . "
In the fastest voice I've ever used I laid it all out.
Sez BnCO, "Dozer you might manage to keep this one after all."
We celebrated our 20th this April!
To everyone who helped me out with this; thank you! I got to take my R&R this month, and be home for her birthday. We had a great time (though I spent a good amount of it putting together baby furniture; a crib, and all kinds of other stuff I never knew existed...bassinett? Never heard of it!)
Needless to say, though, she was sufficiently impressed with what I put together from the advice I got here. I think she likes me...:lifter
Also, we went in for an ultrasound, and found out that itäs a girl; due date early December.
Again; thank you all!
Dozer523
07-21-2009, 10:03
I spent a good amount of it putting together baby furniture; a crib, and all kinds of other stuff I never knew existed...bassinett? Never heard of it!) Never heard of it? And, with a little girl on the way? Get used to that.
Also, we went in for an ultrasound, and found out that itäs a girl; due date early December. Little girls are very sneaky:D watch out! First sneaky trick is the manipulation of time. BCMU is 16YO; How did that happen?!!?. She was only born a little while ago.
Again; thank you all!
Congratulations "Daddy"
Remember, to take time to remember.