Irish Joke

[bluebb]

So an Irishman walks out of a bar.....

Hey it could happen ;)

Happy St. Patricks day.

Blue

[Sdiver]

So an Irishman walks out of a bar.....

POSER !!!!!

There is NO WAY that is a TRUE Irishman. :p

[Red Flag 1]

Groan:D:D.

RF 1

[dennisw]

Mrs. Shaunessy is called to the local brewery where she is told that her husband drowned in a vat of beer. As she composes herself, she comments,"The poor man, he never had a chance." His foreman says,"Oh he had a chance, he got out twice to take a piss." :D

[Alterflow]

/tomato

[HOLLiS]

Q: What is Irish and stays out on your back porch all winter long?







A: Paddy O'Furniture. :D

[HOLLiS]

Jacques Chirac, The French Prime Minister, was sitting in his office wondering what kind of mischief he could perpetrate against the United States when he was interrupted by a telephone call;

"Hallo, Mr. Chirac?" a heavily accented voice said.
"This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "this is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"

Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one hundred thousand men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Begorra!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Chirac asked

"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

Chirac sighed, amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to one hundred and fifty-thousand since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"

Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to two hundred thousand!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!", said Paddy; "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Chirac! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Chirac. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and decided there's no foo-kin way we can feed two hundred thousand prisoners!"

[ZonieDiver]

Recent research indicates that Jesus was Irish, not Jewish:

1) He lived at home into his 30's.
2) He had no job or visible means of support.
3) He had twelve drinking buddies.
4) His mother thought he was God.
:)

[Sdiver]

Recent research indicates that Jesus was Irish, not Jewish:

2) He had no job or visible means of support.

:)

Yes he did......










































..............3 nails. :munchin

[dennisw]

It’s bitter cold night in Ireland when John Fitzpatrick summons his oldest son to his bedside. “ Paddy, me boy, I’m dying and I want you to go get Rabbi Berger and bring him here. His son leaves with a quizzical look on his face and heads out to get the Rabbi. As they both arrived back at the house, the wind is swirling outside, the snow drifts are building up against the outside of John Fitzpatrick’s small bungalow. As Rabbi Berger pulls off his jacket and scarf, he sits down by John Fitzpatrick’s bedside and says: “Now John, what’s this nonsense about you dying.” John replies, “Rabbi Berger, I knows it’s my time. “ The Rabbi scratches his head and says, “John, I’ve known you for fifty years, and you’ve always been a good catholic. “ John answers, “This is true Rabbi.” So the Rabbi asks him, “Why did you call me and not Father Flannigan?”

John answers, “I didn’t want to bother the poor Father on a night like tonight.” :D

[TOMAHAWK9521]

Yes he did......


..............3 nails. :munchin

Oh man, you are so going down. I expect a bolt of lightning inbound at any moment. :D