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QRQ 30
06-23-2004, 09:14
What with Father's Day being recently celebrated, I thought I'd copy this from the "Teamhouse" page:


Daddy's Ten Rules for Dating

1. If you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering a
package, because you're sure as hell not picking anything up.


2. You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her,so
long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your
eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.


3. I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to
wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their
hips. Don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are
complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue,
so I propose this com-promise: You may come to the door with your underwear
showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.However, in
order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the
course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and
fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.


4. I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without
utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate,
when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will
kill you.


5. It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other,
we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Do not
do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when
you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I
need from you on this subject is: "early".


6. I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to
date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my
daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will
continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make
her cry, I will make you realize that which goes around, comes around.


7. As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear,
and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on
time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her
makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge.
Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like
changing the oil in my car?


8. The following places are not appropriate for a date with my
daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a
wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where the ambient
temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter into wear shorts, tank
tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a
goose down parka -- zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic
or sexual theme are to be avoided. Movies which feature
chainsaws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.


9. Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding,
dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the
all-knowing merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you are
going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole
truth, and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres
behind the house. Do not
trifle with me.


10. Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the
sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy.
When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell
me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon
as you pull into the driveway, you should exit the car with both hands in
plan sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that
you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your
car -- there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the
window is mine.

Bill Harsey
06-23-2004, 09:45
printed, laminated and duct taped to the front door. Thank you.

Roguish Lawyer
06-23-2004, 10:02
LOL

I'm glad I just have boys!

Sacamuelas
06-23-2004, 10:27
LOL:p

Radar Rider
06-24-2004, 03:59
Good list! I, too, am thankful that I have a son.

Smokin Joe
06-24-2004, 08:39
Great list!


I have seen it before with one more added to it:

11. If for any reason you make my daughter cry. I will make you cry.

Guy
06-24-2004, 09:14
Originally posted by QRQ 30
What with Father's Day being recently celebrated, I thought I'd copy this from the "Teamhouse" page:

3. I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue.....

While working as a construction superintendent, building elementary schools...this was a quick way to get your ass fired!

myclearcreek
06-24-2004, 10:27
I, too, am thankful to have sons. The parents of my nieces will all be given copies, however. I have also given my older son a copy and assured him there is a Dad behind every door and a shotgun being cleaned in every living room. :eek: :D

Bill Harsey
06-24-2004, 10:38
Originally posted by Guy
While working as a construction superintendent, building elementary schools...this was a quick way to get your ass fired! I want to work for Guy! Sounds like fun.

myclearcreek
06-24-2004, 10:42
Originally posted by Bill Harsey
I want to work for Guy! Sounds like fun.

I mentioned in another thread that I want to be his secetary when he becomes POTUS. There would never be a dull day, that is certain. :D

Guy
06-24-2004, 11:10
I was promoted to superintendent on...

http://image.pegs.com/images/EA/2685/2685_b1.jpg
I inherited this project 3/4 of the way thru and behind schedule.

StudioPlus Cross Creek Mall
4105 Sycamore Dairy Road
Fayetteville, North Carolina United States 28303

I hired a Korean War Vet to handle all the trades and a E-7(Ret) to handle all the labor.:D

Roguish Lawyer
06-24-2004, 11:17
Originally posted by Guy
I was promoted to superintendent on...

http://image.pegs.com/images/EA/2685/2685_b1.jpg
I inherited this project 3/4 of the way thru and behind schedule.

StudioPlus Cross Creek Mall
4105 Sycamore Dairy Road
Fayetteville, North Carolina United States 28303

I hired a Korean War Vet to handle all the trades and a E-7(Ret) to handle all the labor.:D

The greatest thing about working construction, IMO, is that you can go back years later, see what you helped build, and see that it is still there.

Kyobanim
06-24-2004, 11:44
Having a daughter is gods revenge on dads for being teenage boys at one time in their life.

Glad I got boys. My son gets to worry about the grand daughter.

Radar Rider
06-25-2004, 02:42
Originally posted by myclearcreek
I, too, am thankful to have sons. The parents of my nieces will all be given copies, however. I have also given my older son a copy and assured him there is a Dad behind every door and a shotgun being cleaned in every living room. :eek: :D My son just turned 14. I'm printing a copy of that for him now.

Honestly, it's all about respect. I pray that I have raised him well. So far, that appears to be the case. :)

Bill Harsey
06-25-2004, 08:38
Originally posted by Guy
I was promoted to superintendent on...

http://image.pegs.com/images/EA/2685/2685_b1.jpg
I inherited this project 3/4 of the way thru and behind schedule.

StudioPlus Cross Creek Mall
4105 Sycamore Dairy Road
Fayetteville, North Carolina United States 28303

I hired a Korean War Vet to handle all the trades and a E-7(Ret) to handle all the labor.:D Guy! That's Fantastic!!! Small problem here, your ruining my image of SF guys, I thought all you did was break stuff.

QRQ 30
06-25-2004, 08:51
Luckily I never had to invoke the rules. My daughter, 27 now, was the youngest. All three were in HS together and her two older brothers were her protectors. The poor girl had no real boy friends in HS -- everyone was afraid of her brothers. She had what I thought was an attractive dress for the prom and when my sons saw it they said: "OH NO!! Tou aren't wearing that outside of the house." I actually had to intervene.

She is now engaged to a zoomie, of all things.:p

The Reaper
06-25-2004, 09:10
Originally posted by Bill Harsey
Guy! That's Fantastic!!! Small problem here, your ruining my image of SF guys, I thought all you did was break stuff.

Obviously, I failed to show you the significant portion of the 18C course dedicated to building and maintaining things.

TR

Razor
06-25-2004, 09:20
Originally posted by QRQ 30
She is now engaged to a zoomie, of all things.:p

My sincere condolences. :D

shadowflyer
06-25-2004, 09:56
I have 3 yr old twins, one boy and one girl and I am raising my son to watch after his sister :D. My daughter on the other hand is already breaking 3 yr old hearts and I am getting grey hairs by the minute with her as she is fearless....:O

Guy
06-25-2004, 10:33
Originally posted by Bill Harsey
Guy! That's Fantastic!!! Small problem here, your ruining my image of SF guys, I thought all you did was break stuff.

We can tear up shit when necessary...have no doubt about that!

Get us downtown Baghdad with the right assets and I'm telling you....

We would put together a security force that would protect/control the....

Schools...medical facilities...businesses...etc! It's all about the "hearts and minds"! ;)

They just need to let us OPERATE!

Team Sergeant
06-25-2004, 10:47
Originally posted by shadowflyer
I have 3 yr old twins, one boy and one girl and I am raising my son to watch after his sister :D. My daughter on the other hand is already breaking 3 yr old hearts and I am getting grey hairs by the minute with her as she is fearless....:O

Ha Ha Ha twins!

I guess it could be worse, they could both be 3 year old girls!

Jack Moroney (RIP)
06-25-2004, 14:05
Originally posted by Roguish Lawyer
LOL

I'm glad I just have boys!

I have two boys and a daughter for which I am very greatful. I established only two rules for marrying my daughter which I put into effect the day she brought that scum sucking snow pimp home to meet the parents. The first rule was easy, he had to ask for her hand in marriage. The second rule was also easy and was relayed to him when he summoned up the guts to seek our blessing for marriage. It was one simple, well meaning, and heartfelt statement: "My daughter is my daughter no matter what name she adopts and if you do anything to hurt her I will reach down your throat and rip out your liver".

Jack Moroney

Roguish Lawyer
06-25-2004, 14:08
Originally posted by Jack Moroney
"My daughter is my daughter no matter what name she adopts and if you do anything to hurt her I will reach down your throat and rip out your liver".

Jack Moroney


You guys are killing me. LMAOROTF

Roycroft201
06-25-2004, 14:46
QRQ 30 - Thanks for posting that !!
Brought back memories of my step-father. In the days before motion detectors in the driveway, it was amazing how fast he turned on the driveway floodlights every time I was brought home from a date. Sweet good-night kisses ? Forget it ! I am surprised my dates still had transmissions left - they all seemed to throw it into reverse before the wheels stopped forward motion in the driveway !!


TS - My daughter turned 18 in May. I would love to have a conversation with you in 15 years when your girls turn 18. Actually, let's talk during that 14 - 15 year old age range ! LOL (Before I was married, I worked at a residential treatment center for 'problem' girls. After I married and became pregnant, I had a hard time agreeing on a girl's name for the baby. All the names my husband liked reminded me of 'problem girls' at the center !).

Roycroft201

Bill Harsey
06-26-2004, 09:42
Originally posted by Guy
We can tear up shit when necessary...have no doubt about that!

Get us downtown Baghdad with the right assets and I'm telling you....

We would put together a security force that would protect/control the....

Schools...medical facilities...businesses...etc! It's all about the "hearts and minds"! ;)

They just need to let us OPERATE! I agree! History shows that whenever SF is used well, success follows.

Guy
06-26-2004, 10:07
Originally posted by Roguish Lawyer
You guys are killing me. LMAOROTF

I tried to kick my 18y/o daughters' boyfriend in the face!

I go to pick her up XMAS eve at her boyfriends' place, walk in the house and my daughter introduces us...this lil MFer is sitting on the couch with his pants hanging off his ass, watching TV and says to me...

"YO, YO...what's up bro"!

By the time I crossed the living room, my right foot was in the air heading for his head/face. My EX and daughter grabbed me just before the point of impact...throwing me off balance. So I missed contact...DAMN!

My pistol comes tumbling out on to the floor. That is one reason you will never see me with out a belt on!;) Now everyone freezes and are staring at the pistol lying on the floor. I simply pick it up and say to the kid...

"Grown men don't even speak to me that way...I'll be damned to hell, if some punk ass, pants dragging ass kid will"!

Bill Harsey
06-26-2004, 10:20
Did this young gentleman get the message?

Guy
06-26-2004, 10:46
Almost like when you have a bunch of FOGs' sitting at table talking....I just usually STFU and listen!:D

Team Sergeant
06-26-2004, 10:50
Remember the movie;

“Meet the Parents”? Robert De Niro and Ben Stiller.
[Plot Outline: Male nurse Greg Focker meets his girlfriend's parents before proposing, but her suspicious father is every date's worst nightmare.]

I didn’t realize it was a comedy.

I’m a man of the nineties, 1890 to be exact. I figure I have 13 years to prepare myself mentally, physically and in procuring the proper armaments. With proper back planning it just might be enough time. My desire is to meet and greet my daughters would-be boyfriends and within minutes instill such an abnormal level of terror that they will require psychological rehabilitation for the rest of their lives.

Guy, great story.

TS

Kyobanim
06-26-2004, 10:51
I'd pay to see that! LMAO

Jack Moroney (RIP)
06-26-2004, 11:23
Originally posted by Team Sergeant
With proper back planning it just might be enough time. My desire is to meet and greet my daughters would-be boyfriends and within minutes instill such an abnormal level of terror that they will require psychological rehabilitation for the rest of their lives.

TS

Absolutely. Several things used to work for me depending on what the target audience was. Sitting in plain view cleaning a firearm or sharpening a large knife was effective as was casually walking out to check out the car and providing instructions as necessary on what needed to be corrected before she even got into it. :D

Jack Moroney

The Reaper
06-26-2004, 11:33
Best job of boyfriend intimidation I ever saw was Remo, for those who know him.

Boyfriend/victim rolled up outside his quarters and tooted the horn for her.

That was the signal to commence what was probably the most terrifying 20 minutes of his life.

I would have paid money to watch what happened.

TR

Smokin Joe
06-26-2004, 14:10
Originally posted by The Reaper
Best job of boyfriend intimidation I ever saw was Remo, for those who know him.

Boyfriend/victim rolled up outside his quarters and toot the horn for her.

That was the signal to commence what was probably the most terrifying 20 minutes of his life.

I would have paid money to watch what happened.

TR

Sir, would you please share the story?

TS,

My father-in-law used to write said punk's name on shotgun shells. When the punk came over to pick up his daughter first thing he would show the kid was his gun cabinet, with his name written on a shotgun shell.

Team Sergeant
06-26-2004, 14:45
Originally posted by Smokin Joe

My father-in-law used to write said punk's name on shotgun shells. When the punk came over to pick up his daughter first thing he would show the kid was his gun cabinet, with his name written on a shotgun shell.

Ruthless, I like it.

I was thinking more along the lines of revealing to him the satellite photographs of where he currently lives and his signed confession stating that he was the man on the “grassy noll.”

TS

The Reaper
06-26-2004, 14:48
Joe:

Better if you knew him.

Black LTC at the time (now a retired BG), 6' 2" 260 or so, former body builder and professional boxer (was still boxing at that time), trained with Bonecrusher Smith.

Hip hop from car stereo heard inside the house anounces arrival, kid blows the horn, daughter comes running downstairs.

Remo sends the daughter back upstairs till he calls for her and goes out to meet the caller.

Saunters out with no shirt and leans heavily on the car by the driver, sitting it down a bit on the springs and asks him to turn his stereo down and if he can be of any assistance.

Kid mumbles that he is there to pick up Remo's daughter.

Remo asks him who he thinks he is, says I don't think so, and explains to him the proper protocol.

Makes the kid drive out of sight and come back to do it properly, by which point he is back in the house waiting.

Kid rings the doorbell, girl comes downstairs again, gets sent back up.

Remo opens the door and explains that she is not quite ready yet, come on in and have a seat.

Kid sits down, starts eyeballing all of the SF memorabilia on the walls, and the boxing trophies.

Remo ignores the kid, and asks me if I know where he can get a 75 round drum for an AK. Five minute gun/shooting/killing conversation ensues, IIRC culminating with some sort of show and tell with the AK, where he explains that there is no paper trail on the weapon, just in case he has to use it locally. Delivers short story about being the leader of a street gang in his home town (which is a little burg in Mississippi which happens to share the name of a large Eastern city, but fails to mention that).

Kid gets asked about whether he has ever killed a man, been in a gang, used drugs or alcohol, etc., answers all in the negative. Asked if he has ever been in trouble, followed by the "where are you planning to take my daughter", "who will be there", "how long you will be", etc.

Gets the answers generally right, so Remo excuses himself goes and checks on daughter, and tells her to come on down in a few minutes.

Sweats the kid for a few more minutes with questions about school, sports, etc., then releases them when the daughter appears with the usual pleasantries, but tapping the guy one the shoulder while his daughter is walking out the front door and giving him a big evil smile and a wink.

I think she was back home before we left.

TR

Smokin Joe
06-26-2004, 17:54
Thank you sir, that is great.

I would pay good money to see that.

Doc T
06-27-2004, 00:42
after their first week of preschool our nanny came home and told me that she thinks one of our daughters had a "boyfriend" already.... an older boy of 4 1/2 who would push her around on a bicycle for two and hold her hand outside at playtime....

I don't think the team sergeant has as much time as he is hoping for but he has artfully avoided any playdates with the little boy over the summer...lol.

doc t.

Bill Harsey
06-27-2004, 11:04
Originally posted by Doc T
after their first week of preschool our nanny came home and told me that she thinks one of our daughters had a "boyfriend" already.... an older boy of 4 1/2 who would push her around on a bicycle for two and hold her hand outside at playtime....

I don't think the team sergeant has as much time as he is hoping for but he has artfully avoided any playdates with the little boy over the summer...lol.

doc t. Keeping track of this over the next decade or so would make a great movie. You should sell the rights.

SpearmintRhino
07-09-2004, 18:37
APPLICATION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER



Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history,
lineage, and current medical report from your physician.
Name:________________________ Date of Birth:_________________
Height:_________ Weight:__________ IQ:_________ GPA:__________
Social Security #:___________ Driver's License #: Number:_______
Boy Scout Rank:_________________ Telephone:___________________
Home Address:__________________________________________ ____
City:__________________________ State:__________ Zip:___________

1. Do you have one male and one female parent? ____
If "No", explain:

2. Number of years your parents have been married: ____
Any brothers or sisters? ____
Are they normal? ____

3. Do you own or have access to a van? ____
A truck with oversize tires? ____
A waterbed? ____

4. Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? ____

5. Do you have a tattoo? ____

If you have answered YES to #3, #4 or #5, discontinue
application and leave immediately.
6. In fifty words or less, what does Late mean to you?

7. In fifty words or less, what does Don't touch my daughter
mean to you?

8. In fifty words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you?

9. In fifty words or less, what does Real Pain mean to you?

10. Church/Temple you attend: ____________________________
How often do you attend: ____________________________
11. When would be the best time to interview your mother, father
and priest/rabbi?__________________________

12. Please fill in the blanks:

a. If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want
wounded would be my ____________________________
b. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would
be my_____________________________

c. A woman's place is in the ____________________________
d. The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is
______________________________

e. When I meet a girl, the one thing I always notice about her
first is______________________________

Note: If answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue and leave
premises--keeping your head low and running in a serpentine
fashion is advised.
13. What do you want to be if you grow up?



I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of
my knowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment,
torture or mental abuse.
Signature of applicant _________________________________
Signature of father _____________________________________
Signature of mother ____________________________________
Signature of priest/rabbi ___________________________________
Signature of State Representative _________________________


Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and
non-sexual.

Please allow 4-6 years for processing. You will be contacted in
writing if approved. If denied, please never apply again. Don't
call me, I'll call you.

Pandora
07-09-2004, 18:53
Printed and posted on fridge. :D

Nice post.

Ghostrider
07-09-2004, 19:36
Rules and application printed, and sent out. I've got nieces age 3 and 6......I'm being a good uncle!:D

NSDQ
07-29-2006, 12:29
Thanks QRQ 30 for "Daddy's 10 Rules" also TR for the story of BG Remo I have daughters 6 & 1 & I know this day is right around the corner for me. :mad:

Pete
07-29-2006, 13:05
Thanks QRQ 30 for "Daddy's 10 Rules" also TR for the story of BG Remo I have daughters 6 & 1 & I know this day is right around the corner for me. :mad:

Mine are twins and almost 17. Anybody, boyfriends or girlfriends, all come in the front door past the gun case. The first time they do they all give a little start when one of the girls point at a rifle and go "That ones mine, this is my sisters."

My girls like to see me talk with, "grill", new young gentlemen coming over. They like to see how they handle the pressure. I never make a big deal of it but the ones I didn't like never lasted more than 2 weeks anyway. Just takes the girls a bit longer to pick up on the lad's bad points.

aricbcool
07-29-2006, 13:50
13. What do you want to be if you grow up?


Nice. :D

CoLawman
07-29-2006, 14:12
after their first week of preschool our nanny came home and told me that she thinks one of our daughters had a "boyfriend" already.... an older boy of 4 1/2 who would push her around on a bicycle for two and hold her hand outside at playtime....

I don't think the team sergeant has as much time as he is hoping for but he has artfully avoided any playdates with the little boy over the summer...lol.

doc t.

ROFL!

NSDQ
07-29-2006, 20:44
Mine are twins and almost 17.
Pete, your right in the middle of it. God Bless You! LOL


NSDQ

QRQ 30
08-02-2006, 16:59
Application to date my daughter

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, history, lineage, recent FBI background check, psychiatric evaluation, and updated medical report from your doctor.

NAME:________________________________DATE OF BIRTH:___________
HEIGHT:_____________ WEIGHT:______________ I.Q.____________ GPA______________
SOCIAL SECURITY#_________________________________________ __
DRIVERS LICENSE#__________________________________________ ____
BOY SCOUT RANK:_____________________________________________ __
HOME ADDRESS:__________________________________________ ______
CITY/STATE_________________________________________ ZIP_________________
Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent? ______ yes? _______ no?
Number of years parents married:_____________________________________
Do you own a van? _________ A truck with oversized tires? __________
A waterbed? _________ Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly ring?_____ Tattoo?_______________
(IF YES TO ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE THE PREMISES)
In 50 words or less, what does DO NOT TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you?
In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you?
In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?
(PLEASE FEEL FREE TO USE THE BACK OF THIS APPLICATION TO ANSWER QUESTIONS 8, 9, AND 10)

. Congregation you attend?___________________________________________
How often do you attend?___________________________________________ _
When would it the best time to interview your father, mother, relatives, neighbors, minister/rabbi/priest, and past girlfriends?
(supply phone numbers) ______________________________________________
__________________________________________________ ________________
__________________________________________________ ________________

What do you want to be IF you grow up? ________________________________
__________________________________________________ _______________




ANSWER THESE SEMI-CONFIDENTIAL QUESTIONS
BY FILLING IN THE BLANKS.

"If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want to be wounded is __________________________________________________ ________________
"If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my ______________ __________________________________________________ ________________
"The one question I hope this application does not ask me is _________________
__________________________________________________ _______________
D. (Now answer the question you wrote on #C) ______________________________
__________________________________________________ ___________________

E. "When I first meet this girl, the first thing I noticed about her is ______________ __________________________________________________ __________________

(NOTE: If the answer to #E begins with "T" or "A", discontinue and it is advised that you leave the premises right now keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion.)



I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE, UNDER THE PENALTY OF A SLOW DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, AND SOLDIER ANT TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS DRIPPING WATER TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, AND THE JANET RENO KISS TORTURE.

___________________________________________
SIGNATURE (that means your name, moron!)



Thank you for your interest in my daughter. Please allow four to six years for processing. Don’t call us, we’ll call you. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Do not try to call or write (it will only delay the process). Any attempt to make contact might cause you injury. If your application is rejected, two gentlemen with violin cases and cement shoes will

NSDQ
08-02-2006, 18:39
ANSWER THESE SEMI-CONFIDENTIAL QUESTIONS
BY FILLING IN THE BLANKS.

"If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want to be wounded is __________________________________________________ ________________
"If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my ______________ __________________________________________________ ________________
"The one question I hope this application does not ask me is _________________
__________________________________________________ _______________
D. (Now answer the question you wrote on #C) ______________________________
__________________________________________________ ___________________

E. "When I first meet this girl, the first thing I noticed about her is ______________ __________________________________________________ __________________

(NOTE: If the answer to #E begins with "T" or "A", discontinue and it is advised that you leave the premises right now keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion.)



I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE, UNDER THE PENALTY OF A SLOW DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, AND SOLDIER ANT TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS DRIPPING WATER TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, AND THE JANET RENO KISS TORTURE.

___________________________________________
SIGNATURE (that means your name, moron!)



Thank you for your interest in my daughter. Please allow four to six years for processing. Don’t call us, we’ll call you. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Do not try to call or write (it will only delay the process). Any attempt to make contact might cause you injury. If your application is rejected, two gentlemen with violin cases and cement shoes will
Excellent QRQ 30 ! I will definetly be using it in a few yrs.

NSDQ

echoes
05-05-2010, 17:05
What with Father's Day being recently celebrated, I thought I'd copy this from the "Teamhouse" page:

Was researching Father's Day on PS.com since it is just around the corner, found this thread.

It has some very memorable posts in it,... needless to say, a great thread!!!!!!!!!

Curious if anyone cares to update???:lifter

Holly

craigepo
05-05-2010, 18:44
Question:

Was there any truth to the rumor that a certain instructor at Marine Sniper school in late 80's-early 90's, whose name sounded like "Marlos Wathcock", refused to let his daughter date any army guys unless they were SF qualified?

Story of woe relayed by a couple of 2/75 guys who returned from that school.

"Momma told Sally not to go downtown
Too many Rangers hangin' around..."

Scimitar
05-05-2013, 05:04
Bump

Just got the 10 rules sent to me by a pal,

GREAT stuff!


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medic&commo
05-06-2013, 08:59
Waiting for the hammer to fall, my daughter just turned 16.
I will personalize these 10 rules / application and have them at the ready.
m&c