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Richard
02-16-2009, 14:08
Questions and Answers from an AARP Forum--

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore --- under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: “And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt.”

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly: wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.

Q: Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short-term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 60+ year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: “Gosh, I remember these!”

Red Flag 1
02-16-2009, 15:50
Richard,

You just had to go and do that, didn't you!:D

It is nice when the kids come around to pick up the grand kids, I'd hate to mess up the "who goes where" part!

RF 1

longrange1947
02-16-2009, 15:58
You forgot a couple.

1. What is the most common ornament worn between the breasts of 60+ women?

Answer: Their belly button.

2. While a woman ovulating likes to see men that are ruggedly handsome, what do menopausal women like to see in men?

Answer: A stake in the heart with duck tape over their mouth.

OK, going to hide now. :D