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greenberetTFS
10-13-2008, 09:43
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.

The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?'

'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke.'

The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.

'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad, 'says the man.

'Same,' says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'

'Well,' says the man, 'sev eral years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.

My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'

'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man..

The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'

The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.'

GB TFS :munchin

nmap
10-13-2008, 10:38
Good one, Sir! Thank you.

Red Flag 1
10-13-2008, 12:17
A keeper Amigo!

Thanks.


RF 1

Warrior-Mentor
10-13-2008, 12:44
Does anyone else hear the withering sound of "wah wah wah wah ..."

LongTabSigO
10-13-2008, 13:25
Does anyone else hear the withering sound of "wah wah wah wah ..."

Now THAT's comedy right there....

(and so true....that's what I heard...)

Rogue
10-13-2008, 13:36
Outstanding! :D

Rogue
10-13-2008, 14:05
Outstanding! :D

echoes
10-13-2008, 17:44
The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'

The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.'

GB TFS :munchin

Sir,

Now that is one I will have to pass on to all my girlfriends...:lifter as We all support Our Brave Soldiers!

(They ALL look hot like Pamela Anderson.)

Well, we blondes do run a tight ship....:D

Holly

LongTabSigO
10-14-2008, 05:23
Sir,

Now that is one I will have to pass on to all my girlfriends...:lifter as We all support Our Brave Soldiers!

(They ALL look hot like Pamela Anderson.)

Well, we blondes do run a tight ship....:D

Holly

This must be said...This thread is worthless without pics...

SF_BHT
10-14-2008, 05:51
Sir,

Now that is one I will have to pass on to all my girlfriends...:lifter as We all support Our Brave Soldiers!

(They ALL look hot like Pamela Anderson.)

Well, we blondes do run a tight ship....:D

Holly

So is that before a six pack or before? That is a very important detail, Pre drink or not.:p
Or was it a Baywatch Pam or a Current Version?

greenberetTFS
10-14-2008, 09:58
Tomato Garden

>> >

>> > An old Italian man lived alone in New Jersey. He

>> wanted to plant his

>> > annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work,

>> as the ground was

>> > hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him,

>> was in prison.

>> > The old man wrote a letter to his son and described

>> his predicament:

>> >

>> > Dear Vincent,

>> > I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I

>> won't be able to plant

>> > my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too

>> old to be digging up

>> > a garden plot. I know if you were here, my troubles

>> would be over. I

>> > know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like

>> in the old days.

>> > Love,Papa

>> >

>> > A few days later he received a letter from his son.

>> >

>> > Dear Pop,

>> > Don't dig up that garden. That's where the

>> bodies are buried.

>> > Love, Vinnie

>> >

>> > At 4am the next morning, FBI agents and local police

>> arrived and dug up

>> > the entire area without finding any bodies. They

>> apologized to the old

>> > man and left. That same day the old man received

>> another letter from

>> > his son.

>> >

>> > Dear Pop,

>> > Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the

>> best I could do under

>> > the circumstances.

>> > Love you, Vinnie

GB TFS :munchin

echoes
10-25-2008, 19:22
So is that before a six pack or before? That is a very important detail, Pre drink or not.:p
Or was it a Baywatch Pam or a Current Version?

Pre-Drink, Sir...and I guess, WTH, After as well! ;)

Am curious though...

gbTFS,

The Tomato Garden thing I just...don't get?:) hmmm.

Holly

Sdiver
10-25-2008, 22:26
Am curious though...

gbTFS,

The Tomato Garden thing I just...don't get?:) hmmm.

Holly


TS, TR, AM, NDD, RL.......

We need one of those "D'oh" smileys for Holly. :munchin :D

jcwhite2
10-26-2008, 17:02
Pre-Drink, Sir...and I guess, WTH, After as well! ;)

Am curious though...

gbTFS,

The Tomato Garden thing I just...don't get?:) hmmm.

Holly

All mail in and out of jail is checked and read by corrections officers to check for gang activity and whatnot. Knowing this, the son who's in jail said the bodies were buried in the garden his old man needed dug up so that authorities would go dig up that garden looking for bodies, in turn leaving the soil fully prepared for the old man to plant his maters

echoes
10-26-2008, 17:59
Gracias!;)

No special smiley's needed!:o

Holly

Red Flag 1
10-26-2008, 18:24
All mail in and out of jail is checked and read by corrections officers to check for gang activity and whatnot. Knowing this, the son who's in jail said the bodies were buried in the garden his old man needed dug up so that authorities would go dig up that garden looking for bodies, in turn leaving the soil fully prepared for the old man to plant his maters


Gotta love Vinny...always thinking of ways to help out his Pop:D.

Thanks TFS!


RF 1

Dozer523
10-26-2008, 22:48
Don't feel bad Holly. You just haven't done any hard time. What does that say about the rest of us that got it? Oh right we watch "The Sopranos".:D