Marriage...

[frostfire]

MARRIAGE


Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband : "Nothing."
Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour!"
Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."

--------------------------------------------------------

Wife : "Do you want dinner?"
Husband : "Sure! What are my choices?"
Wife : "Yes or no."

--------------------------------------------------------

Wife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?"
Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears."
Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?"

--------------------------------------------------------

Stress Reliever Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden."
Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."
Girl: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet..."

--------------------------------------------------------

Son: "Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
Mom: "Well, you have done the right thing."
Son: "But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap!"

--------------------------------------------------------

A newly married man asked his wife: "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!"

--------------------------------------------------------

Girl to her boyfriend: "One kiss and I'll be yours forever!"
The guy replies: "Thanks for the early warning."

--------------------------------------------------------

A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor!"

[Sdiver]

One day a thief is robbing a bank. As has all the people in the bank down on the floor while he is cleaning out the cash drawers. In his excitement, his mask that he was wearing slips off his head and reveals his face. Hurriedly he places it back on and starts heading towards the door.

He then see's several people he had on the ground looking at him. He stands one guy up and asks, " Did you see my face?"

The guy answers, "Yes I did." The robber then shots him dead.

The robber walks up to a second guy and says, "Did you see my face?"

To which the second guy answers, "No.....but my Wife did."