Sdiver
01-13-2008, 12:02
#10) Life is sexually transmitted.
#9) Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#8) Men have 2 emotions; Hungry and Horny. Ladies if you see one without an erection, make him a sandwich.
#7) Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the Internet, and they won't bother you for weeks.
#6) Some people are like Slinkies....Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
#5) Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in a hospital bed somewhere, dying of nothing.
#4) All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism.
#3) Why does a "slight" tax increase cost you $200.00 and a "substantial" tax cut, only save you $30.00?
#2) In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now that the world is weird, people take Prozac to make it normal.
#1) We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal aliens and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Dept. of Agriculture in charge of immigration?
And remember......"Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers. What you do today, Might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow !!!"
#9) Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#8) Men have 2 emotions; Hungry and Horny. Ladies if you see one without an erection, make him a sandwich.
#7) Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the Internet, and they won't bother you for weeks.
#6) Some people are like Slinkies....Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
#5) Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in a hospital bed somewhere, dying of nothing.
#4) All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism.
#3) Why does a "slight" tax increase cost you $200.00 and a "substantial" tax cut, only save you $30.00?
#2) In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now that the world is weird, people take Prozac to make it normal.
#1) We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal aliens and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Dept. of Agriculture in charge of immigration?
And remember......"Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers. What you do today, Might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow !!!"