View Full Version : Soldier/Parent
My son deploys today. I’ll meet him at Newark airport. His first time pregnant wife is dropping him off. Goodbyes complete, she is allowing us/me this precious time. How he convinced her to do so; is beyond my comprehension. Our bond is unusual, single parenthood since he was 7 years old. Not a pretty story, but he and his sisters are ok, though they are beside themselves with his decision; they respect their big/little brother. We’ll grab a coffee and shoot the breeze. I’m sure he’ll be somewhat nervous, me more so, knowing the reality. I was, I think we all were on our first trip…It was yesterday, wasn’t it? Seems that way. I am second guessing myself here. Setting up the interview with the 20th, knowing/understanding how much my life was and is enriched by serving with the regiment. The caliber of people, lifelong friendships, trust…as a man, I wanted that for my son, as a parent, it’s also true. I want to go in his place. Old men should fight wars, we have less to risk. I want to hug him and not let him go. I want to look at every feature of his face; I want it indelibly etched in the core of my being.
My business is down the street from the WTC. When he was 10, I taught him how to orient himself in the city, using the Towers as landmarks. “They are south, the city is a grid, avenues run N&S, streets E&W. I hope I taught him other things, but none come to mind at the moment. No matter what room I’m in, I still face the door. Is that natural or common sense. Is it learned behavior…when I arrived home, the fire station was two blocks from my house, when the siren when off that night, I ripped the closet doors off my bedroom walls trying to get to a bunker…he’ll have nights like those…I don’t know what to say to him, to tell him what to expect, there no rules, I need help with this…take care of your equipment…pay attention…keep your shit tight…take care of yourself …and each other, and those with you… I love you… you are my only son… I love you…be safe, I love you…..We’ll grab a coffee and shoot the breeze.
As one of many with a child serving in out armed forces, I can certainly understand your fears and concerns regarding his decision to go into the military.
We can't live their lives for them - I know that sounds trite, but they have reached the age where we have to let them go and lead their own lives. Do that mean we don't worry about them? Hell NO! I've sweated out every day of my son's two deployments to Baghdad and all the trials and tribulations he's gone through.
I can't think of how many times I've wished it was me on that deployment instead of him. I'm an old coot and have lived a full life - his is just starting. I know he would argue with me about taking his place...he can be as hard-headed as me at times.
We have to put our trust in them and in someone greater than us to look after them. He'll be coming home with stories of good times and not so good. Listen to him, talk with him - not to him. Someday soon we'll have all our loved ones home and out of harm's way. Until then - tell him to kick ass and take names!
Jack Moroney (RIP)
11-16-2007, 15:07
As one of many with a child serving in out armed forces, I can certainly understand your fears and concerns regarding his decision to go into the military.
We can't live their lives for them - I know that sounds trite, but they have reached the age where we have to let them go and lead their own lives. Do that mean we don't worry about them? Hell NO! I've sweated out every day of my son's two deployments to Baghdad and all the trials and tribulations he's gone through.
I can't think of how many times I've wished it was me on that deployment instead of him. I'm an old coot and have lived a full life - his is just starting. I know he would argue with me about taking his place...he can be as hard-headed as me at times.
We have to put our trust in them and in someone greater than us to look after them. He'll be coming home with stories of good times and not so good. Listen to him, talk with him - not to him. Someday soon we'll have all our loved ones home and out of harm's way. Until then - tell him to kick ass and take names!
Roger that! Unfortunately for my youngest, who is still in the service, he cannot go anywhere without running into someone I know. Consequently I get more news about him than he might like to share but I also know, for the most part, he is in good company. So far in his fifteen years of service he has yet to have to deal with someone who has had an extremely negative experience with me that did not realize was due to their own actions and not mine:D
I love you… you are my only son… I love you…be safe, I love you…..
The words above are some of the biggest I have ever read. They're so large, I honestly cannot read them out loud. They remind me of a bumper sticker I saw the other day. It was on a mini van driven by a middle aged lady. She like her car was very non descript, but the bumper sticker and the service decal leaped out at me. It read: Half of my heart is in Iraq. The power of the few words was immense. She may be still wondering why I was enthusiastically waving and giving her the thumbs up. Seeing my reaction, a few other commuters stared at me like I was a freak.
They were right. In today's world, if you have a son or daughter deployed they represent less then 1% of the population. I'm proud to be one.
Both my sons are back, and the recent homecoming for the oldest at the green ramp was almost overwhelming. As we waited by the tarmac, I looked around and felt good about the people I was associated with, even if it was for only a short time. The tired faces of the parents who had traveled far; the young excited faces of wives and girlfriends who could finally release the tension they has lived with for so long. Some were strained as if wondering how the homecoming would go. Most were tear stained. I felt sanctified, set apart from the press and the liberal BS. It was a privilege and an honor to welcome home these boys who were so heroic in their deeds and so selfless in their motivation.
During the deployments it wasn't always so easy. My wife lost it once, overcome by the intense emotions only a mother can truly feel. The kind of emotions that seem to emanate from the earth itself leaving a husband feeling helpless its presence. After listening to her fears, I searched for my own path. Sometimes the jungle is so thick you have bend down in order to see the light and find the path. Mine was as follows:
I believe as Christians and Americans, we have a duty to serve our country. My sons are doing their duty. If God decides their time has come, I'm at peace with his decision.
Penn, thanks for the post. Ihope you find the place that can provide solitude. I pray your son does well during his deployment and comes home safe. Please give him my thanks.
Dennis
Penn, your son is in my prayers. Godspeed!