Weazle23
10-17-2007, 09:30
Aviation ...... Note: For those that don't know, "The Sled" is the
SR-71 Blackbird spy plane from the 1960's and still the fastest
airplane. In his book, "Sled Driver", SR-71 Blackbird pilot Brian Shul
writes: "I'll always remember a certain radio exchange that occurred one
day as Walt (my back-seater) and I were screaming across Southern
California 13 miles high. We were monitoring various radio
transmissions from other aircraft as we entered Los Angeles airspace.
Though they didn't really control us, they did monitor our movement
across their scope. I heard a Cessna ask for a readout of its ground
speed. "90 knots" Center replied. Moments later, a Twin Beech required
the same. "120 knots," Center answered. We weren't the only ones proud
of our ground speed that day as almost instantly an F-18 smugly
transmitted, "Ah, Center, Dusty 52 requests ground speed readout."
There was a slight pause, then the response, "525 knots on the ground,
Dusty." Another silent pause.
As I was thinking to myself how ripe a situation this was, I heard a
familiar click of a radio transmission coming from my back-seater. It
was at that precise moment I realized Walt and I had become a real crew,
for we were both thinking in unison. "Center, Aspen 20, you got a ground
speed readout for us?" There was a longer than normal pause....
Aspen, I show 1,742 knots" (That's about 2004.658 mph for those who
don't know) No further inquiries were heard on that frequency.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
In another famous SR-71 story, Los Angeles Center reported receiving a
request for clearance to FL 600 (60,000ft). The incredulous controller,
with some disdain in his voice, asked, "How do you plan to get up to
60,000 feet? The pilot (obviously a sled driver), responded, "We don't
plan to go up to it; we plan to go down to it." He was cleared.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He
placed it on top of the instrument panel, and then asked the navigator,
"Do you know what I use this for?" The navigator replied timidly, "No,
what's it for?" The pilot responded, "I use this on navigators who get
me lost!"
The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it on his chart
table.
The pilot asked, "What's that for?" "To be honest sir," the navigator
replied, "I'll know we're lost before you will."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When Hillary Clinton visited Iraq last month the Army Blackhawk
helicopter used to transport the Senator was given the call sign
"broomstick one." And they say the Army has no sense of humor!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!" Delta
51:"Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short
of the runway while a MD80 landed. The MD80 landed, rolled out, turned
around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in
the MD80 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane.
Did you make it all by yourself?" Our hero the Cherokee pilot, not about
to let the insult go by, came back with: "I made it out of MD80 parts.
Another landing like that and I'll have enough parts for another one."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing
because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked." ATC
told the fighter jock that he was number two behind a B-52 that had one
engine shut down. "Ah," the pilot remarked, "the dreaded seven-engine
approach."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While
attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your
last known position?" Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Taxiing down the tarmac, the 757 abruptly stopped, turned around and
returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A
concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?"
"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained
the flight attendant," and it took us a while to find a new pilot."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"Flight 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees." "But Center,
we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" "Sir, have
you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?
SR-71 Blackbird spy plane from the 1960's and still the fastest
airplane. In his book, "Sled Driver", SR-71 Blackbird pilot Brian Shul
writes: "I'll always remember a certain radio exchange that occurred one
day as Walt (my back-seater) and I were screaming across Southern
California 13 miles high. We were monitoring various radio
transmissions from other aircraft as we entered Los Angeles airspace.
Though they didn't really control us, they did monitor our movement
across their scope. I heard a Cessna ask for a readout of its ground
speed. "90 knots" Center replied. Moments later, a Twin Beech required
the same. "120 knots," Center answered. We weren't the only ones proud
of our ground speed that day as almost instantly an F-18 smugly
transmitted, "Ah, Center, Dusty 52 requests ground speed readout."
There was a slight pause, then the response, "525 knots on the ground,
Dusty." Another silent pause.
As I was thinking to myself how ripe a situation this was, I heard a
familiar click of a radio transmission coming from my back-seater. It
was at that precise moment I realized Walt and I had become a real crew,
for we were both thinking in unison. "Center, Aspen 20, you got a ground
speed readout for us?" There was a longer than normal pause....
Aspen, I show 1,742 knots" (That's about 2004.658 mph for those who
don't know) No further inquiries were heard on that frequency.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
In another famous SR-71 story, Los Angeles Center reported receiving a
request for clearance to FL 600 (60,000ft). The incredulous controller,
with some disdain in his voice, asked, "How do you plan to get up to
60,000 feet? The pilot (obviously a sled driver), responded, "We don't
plan to go up to it; we plan to go down to it." He was cleared.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He
placed it on top of the instrument panel, and then asked the navigator,
"Do you know what I use this for?" The navigator replied timidly, "No,
what's it for?" The pilot responded, "I use this on navigators who get
me lost!"
The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it on his chart
table.
The pilot asked, "What's that for?" "To be honest sir," the navigator
replied, "I'll know we're lost before you will."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When Hillary Clinton visited Iraq last month the Army Blackhawk
helicopter used to transport the Senator was given the call sign
"broomstick one." And they say the Army has no sense of humor!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!" Delta
51:"Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short
of the runway while a MD80 landed. The MD80 landed, rolled out, turned
around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in
the MD80 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane.
Did you make it all by yourself?" Our hero the Cherokee pilot, not about
to let the insult go by, came back with: "I made it out of MD80 parts.
Another landing like that and I'll have enough parts for another one."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing
because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked." ATC
told the fighter jock that he was number two behind a B-52 that had one
engine shut down. "Ah," the pilot remarked, "the dreaded seven-engine
approach."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While
attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your
last known position?" Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Taxiing down the tarmac, the 757 abruptly stopped, turned around and
returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A
concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?"
"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained
the flight attendant," and it took us a while to find a new pilot."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"Flight 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees." "But Center,
we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" "Sir, have
you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?