New Alphabet

[bkleonards]

The New Alphabet

A is for Apple, and B is for Boat,
That used to be right, but now it won't float!
Age before Beauty, is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.

Now A is for arthritis, B's the bad back,
C is for chest pains, perhaps cardiac?
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!

F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.
H is for high blood pressure, I'd rather it low,
I is for incisions, with scars you can show.

J is for joints out of socket, that won't mend,
K is for knees that crack, when they bend.
L is for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.

N is for neuralgia, in nerves way down low,
O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow!
P is for prescription's, I have quite a few,
Just give me a pill, and I'll be good as new!

Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T is for Tinnitus, there's bells in my ears!

U is for urinary, big troubles with flow,
V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy," you know.
W is for worry, NOW what's going 'round?
X is for X ray, and what might be found.

Y is for another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest that I still have, in my mind.
I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,
and I've kept twenty-six doctors fully employed!!!

(Author Unknown)