View Full Version : Threads for parents of SF/non-SF in combat
Just a thought here for those of us who have kids (SF or not) in harms way. How about a thread or an area where we can post our frustrations? I know Dennisw mentioned something about this and I think it's a great idea.
I know that today has been a really bad day for me as my son was involved in an IED attack. He was ejected from his Hummer and the three others got hammered by the blast. I ran the gauntlet of emotions from downright fear to being madder than hell. Took it out on paper targets at the range today - about 400 rounds worth. Felt better as I imagined some of my 'favorite' people as targets.
Can't do this too often - 9mm isn't cheap and I don't load my own.
Well, I'm not a parent but I'm sorry to hear about this Hipshot. My thoughts are with you, your son and his unit.
CoLawman
04-17-2007, 20:26
Glad to hear the son is okay Hipshot! I just got the Family Resource Group newsletter forwarded to me by my daughter. Two members of my son's team have been medevaced(sp) state side due to an IED attack. My son never told me. He sure maintains opsec! Daughter didn't catch it and the wife is not going to get a chance to read it!
I for one would like to know about everyone over there. Sons, daughters, QP's and all service members who are members on this board. Each deserves our prayers and thoughts.
Hipshot, I too, am glad your son is well. I think for me I would prefer to be in combat than any of my children.
Wish your son the best and a safe tour and trip home.
Semper Fi,
Hollis
Roycroft201
04-17-2007, 21:06
Hipshot,
Hope that your son is OK and will keep him and his unit in my prayers.
COLawman, I'd like to second your idea.........a place where the sons, daughters, the SF youngin's that we have come to 'know' (Surgicalcric comes to mind but that may just be because it has been a couple years for him here now :D ), can be the focus of the thread (within opsec/persec, of course).
I feel like a 'mother hen', even though I don't have a child of my own in harms way but have sent care packages, etc. to quite a few. I would like to hear about our members and members' children.
MoonAngel
04-17-2007, 21:48
Hipshot,
I am so sorry that you are going through this and my thoughts and prayers are with your son and the three others with him. I am not an Army parent...I am an Army wife and while my husband isn't over there right now, we've had so many friends hit by IED's this past year. They've all made it through, thank goodness, but sometimes it feels like those IED's are going off in your own heart when your sitting and waiting for news. The anger and frustration is always there, mixed up with the fear and love for your soldier.
I guess it is all part of what it means to be an Army Father like you, or Army Wife like me, or the friend, or relative, or the true patriot that loves this country by loving her soldiers.
CoLawman
04-17-2007, 22:07
I guess it is all part of what it means to be an Army Father like you, or Army Wife like me, or the friend, or relative, or the true patriot that loves this country by loving her soldiers.
And the crowd lept to their feet, the silence ruptured by thunderous applause!
Eagle5US
04-18-2007, 01:59
Hipshot-
I hope your son fares well through his ordeal, and you through yours. I am very sorry he was put through that experience.
Your son is fighting for freedom in an honorable and humble profession. I pray he stays safe.
Joe
shadowwalker
04-18-2007, 02:28
I am sorry for your ordeal. I do not have children I put my career first, but I have often said that it is easier to go than wait. I was always the one going and now that I am retired it is close friends that are going and I am waiting and worrying everyday that the news will not be good. I do appreciate the technology of today, information is received faster. I can IM friends in the sand box and that way know they are OK, at other times I have to read between the lines to see what they are not telling me, but because of my status as a soldier they tell me more then the wife, girlfriend etc. Bottom line the waiting and worrying is the worse. :( It truly is easier to be the person going to war or deploying than the person waiting for news of what is happening to those we love, care for and are friends. You will be in my thoughts.
The Reaper
04-18-2007, 07:29
Hope that your son is doing well, and best wishes for a safe return, with due honors and recognotion.
TR
Surgicalcric
04-18-2007, 07:33
Hipshot:
Sorry to hear about your son and am thankful he is well.
Crip
SOCOM8721
04-18-2007, 08:20
Glad to hear that the outcome for your family is good.
My son got back to Bragg Last week. Had not heard from him for two weeks and then they showed up CONUS.
He stated that he feels that he has not done enough for his country and is attaching to a team heading to Afghanistan in July. Quick turnaround.
It makes me proud to see how much like me he has turned out, due to the fact that he is "adopted" and not my natural son.
My wife was on pins and needles as he would let me know of IED close calls and such.
As my younger "natural" children say their nightly prayers, I well up as they say each night, "Please bless John and his friend in the Army to be safe."
It really sucks being on the other end of this thing now... Being the parent, so far away from the game.
Hope that your son is doing well, and best wishes for a safe return, with due honors and recognotion. TR
Hipshot;
Ditto to TR's post as well as all the others.
Pete
Warrior-Mentor
04-18-2007, 08:38
Hipshot,
Hope you son is recovering well. Please keep us posted on his progress.
Best,
Joe
Team Sergeant
04-18-2007, 08:40
Hipshot, I'm glad to hear your man-cub is alright.;)
I was quietly smiling at what I did to my mother during Desert Storm......I called home a few hours after the war started, also knowing I would be soon leaving Saudi and headed for Kuwait.
Me; Hello, mom?
Mom; Son, where are you?
Me; Still in Saudi mom, how are you?
Mom; I'm fine; how are you?
Me; Doing fine here (Sirens, alarms, people running everywhere in the background)
mom; WHATS THAT I HEAR IN THE BACKGROUND???????
me; Alarms are going off for an inbound scud missile mom, people are moving quickly to bunkers, that's all.
mom; Don't you think you should be going too?
me; no mom, I waited a long time to make this phone call....
true story.....
It cracks me up to this day.....
There are some things soldiers should not tell their parents....;)
TS
Hipshot,
Glad to hear your son is OK. I'll be praying for you both. When you speak to him be sure to tell him that one FOG in Georgia is very grateful!
Thoughts and prayers with you both. Hoping for the best.
...........to have family members and children and to be associated with people who are willing to serve their country and their fellow men and women. Hipshot, tell your son thanks and the same to all of the military men and women and their families.
I too have a son in SF. While he is yet to be deployed, that day is coming and my sense of pride will no doubt increase but not likely in the same proportion as my sense of anxiety.
I am still amazed as I read stories about "our soldiers" and the great lengths they go to protect those us of state-side from knowing what really happens "over there" and the matter-of-fact manner in which they carry out their duties and responsibilities. It's in such stark contrast to much of what we see in our schools and local businesses where young people are put off by even the slightest inconvenience.
And yet there are those who voluntarily give up the comfort of civilian life in the U.S. to go to a foreign, hostile land to try and liberate a people oppressed for so long. And rather than being treated like liberators, they are the targets of those opposed to freedom. And yet they return.
We are fortunate indeed.................
18C Dad
x SF med
04-18-2007, 12:50
Hip -
Glad your son is ok. It makes me think, now we really know what our parents went through when we deployed and couldn't say anything. It gives me a greater respect for parents of soldiers. Having been there doesn't make it any easier, does it?
Firebeef
04-18-2007, 13:22
Hipshot: Damn buddy....sorry to hear about your son's ordeal. I hope it's the last such ordeal like that he has to go through.
CoLawman: yeah, good that B is keepin up the good OPSEC....you're surprised he didn't tell you?!?!?! LOL (How do you like the new office???)
My son is just now in Eglin AFB, until Oct (if he passes everything 1st time GOs). As an EOD dude, I have no misconceptions about where he will end up. I just pray for all of us that the violence slows down soon.
I think it's a great idea that us Dads, Moms, brothers, sisters and friends can have a thread to talk amongst ourselves. Let's do it: count me in
Hip -
Glad your son is ok. It makes me think, now we really know what our parents went through when we deployed and couldn't say anything. It gives me a greater respect for parents of soldiers. Having been there doesn't make it any easier, does it?
Thanks, x SF med - you gave me a reminder of when I left home for Vietnam. My grandmother used to fix me a special breakfast as a little kid (homemade buttermilk biscuits and sugar syrup). On the morning I was to leave for Ft. Lewis - she overslept and opened a can of Pillsbury biscuits. I kidded her about sending me off to war on 'canned' biscuits. My mom blasted me in her first letter to me saying how my grandmother cried after I left and said "If that boy makes it home, he'll never eat another canned biscuit".
As soldiers, we try not to think about what our parents are going through. Having been there makes it that much harder on the parents. Which is worse... not having served and not understanding what is going on, or having served and knowing the horrors, your frustration at not being able to help them get through it.
I'd trade places with my son in a heartbeat. I've lived a good life - not too many regrets - and can be a hardcase when I need to be. I guess I'm like that old retired horse that pulled the fire wagon. When the fire bell rings, I want to be where the action is.
SOCOM8721
04-18-2007, 13:56
me; no mom, I waited a long time to make this phone call....
true story.....
It cracks me up to this day.....
There are some things soldiers should not tell their parents....;)
TS[/QUOTE]
TS, glad I was not the only person to do that... Mine was just prior to leaving for Operation Golden Phesant from Fort Ord in 1988.
On the CQ phone with the first sergeant yelling at the troops in the background.
Couldn't tell her what was happening...
She saw on the news the next couple of days and was freaking out.
Now Regina and I know how that is...
I brought my trophy wife back from San Salvador. She went through hell as a child in her own right. Now she worries about our own.
Man how history repeats itself....
Monsoon65
04-18-2007, 20:03
Hipshot:
Sorry about your son, but glad he's doing ok!
Yeah, I sometimes forget that parents really get run thru the wringer at times. I know if my mom were still alive she'd be climbing the walls every time I deploy.
Hipshot,
I'm glad your boy is okay. That must have been a surreal experience. Being a parent when your kids are deployed can be a bit surreal also. However, whenever I begin to feel sorry for myself, I think of the Americans who have lost love ones and decide it's time to square my mental shoulders and suck it up.
Today's technology can make the experience a little harrowing when you recieve real time updates. I've attached a few to give everyone a flavor:
Hey dad, I just got back a little while ago. And I am beat to hell. But the trip went ok. We got in a couple more tics, and found an IED and some caches. We had an infantry platoon with us, and they took 4 casualties, just wounded though, no KIA's. They took an RPG to the driver side windshield. It was pretty nuts. Rest assured we got the guy and some of his buddies. But I'll tell you all about it when I get the chance. Love you guys.
Momma,
Hey there good looking!! I am doing good. Last night I got into a huge fire fight and it was probably the most exciting thing i have ever done and will ever do in my whole life. I’m perfectly fine and nothing happened to me or anybody I was with. it is one of the things that is so hard to explain the feeling that you get. but other than that i am doing great.
We were in a ****** and we started receiving fire. I couldn’t see anything so I just aimed at the muzzle flashes with my m24 and then switched over to my m4 and unloaded a couple of magazines. It was so awesome. I cant even explain it. Everyone just clicked and did exactly what we were trained to do. The Iraqi army guys even shot back. I saw one of them pick up a PK (Russian machine gun) and stand out in the open and fire like 300 rounds from the hip. It was hilarious, but that is mostly it. Turns out it was these mobsters who were doing a hit on this house and the just so happened to be shooting our way. We scared them off to say the least and pretty much saved those peoples lives they were coming to kill, but we never found out if we killed anyone cause it was at night. So that is about it. I hope everything is good with you and mom and you’ re staying busy. take it easy. love *****.
dad,
Sorry I haven’t written. i just got back form a 5 day mission. I got in a fire fight and then almost got shot by a sniper. I could never find that mother f***** though. That pissed me off. Well I just got back so I am going to rack out for awhile and write some more. I still haven’t got your package and thanks for the gloves and socks
Hey dad sorry I haven't called or written lately but we were in ******** for 3 days and just got back. And we aren't leaving country until the ***** now, ...... Well some bad news, my good buddy ****** was shot in the chest today, they got in a pretty bad tic. But he's alright and stable right now and I was in ******* to help them carry his stretcher off the bird, his wound looked pretty gnarly; he's lucky to be alive. I talked to him for a bit, the worst part is, today was his birthday and he just got promoted . Well I will call when I have some down time, Love you guys.
By the way, the young man in message is doing fine.
I guess there's reason some of us parents seem like were not completely with it at times. It's a little difficult to focus on the day to day things when your heart is a thousands miles away. At the same time, it's amazing what a person can get use to.
Dennis:
Please let Rusty and Cole know that I am keeping them in my prayers along with my son Matt and all of the others deployed and in harm's way.
Mike
blustr18b
04-25-2007, 21:23
What a great idea, please count me in on this thread. I am really glad to hear all the boys are ok! I know the waiting between emails or im's seem like torture. Mine got hurt last summer over there and when I got that phone call, after crying my eyes out...I was ready to kill who ever tried to maim my kid!!! Turns out he was fine, but it was a hard time for me. Having this tread will be handy. Plus we can brag on the kids!
blustr18b
What a great idea, please count me in on this thread.
I thought you would like it since it was your idea! :D Since you brought up bragging, I think it's time you talk about your son and the extra hardware he's wearing these days. What was it again, a bronze star for valor to go along with his purple heart?
Tell him good job for me.
Dennis
SOCOM8721
04-26-2007, 05:19
Dad, got hit today while clearing a house. We were in support positions on a house with known insurgents inside and letting the Iraqi's do the job we have been training them for. They refused to go in so the team made a dynamic entry and we cleared the house. When the shooting stopped the Iraqis decided they should make their entry. I was in a room with "Chaser" when one of the Iraqis came in, I guess we suprised him and he let loose about 8 rounds from his weapon. He walked the rounds up and in between "Chaser" and me but I caught jacket shrapnel in both of my legs.
I was so pissed I grabbed his weapon and let him know my disgust. I did not immediately know I had been hit at all until "Chaser" grabbed me and told me I was bleeding.
I am fine and on duty. It was a close call. Don't tell mom.
I got this email in March. I was talking to a buddy from SAIC this afternoon who is over here with us (retired sub captain). He was telling me about a friend of his that had a similar experience, only he was killed.
Oh how I counted our blessings!
Hipshot et al: I'm glad to hear your serving family members are well. God speed to them! :)
My mother still can't (five years now) tell me what she went through as a mom of a deployed soldier. I was 18 when I went to Afghanistan in May 02. The only tale she'll mention is I had written her one day... and then that afternoon I believe it was a Chinook that went down. And she didn't hear from me for a week. She never says what she did, but you can see it in her eyes.. not knowing.. not hearing.. even though she knew if It happened, she'd find out, she still worried... and then one day... A single lily showed up at her door...
I had sent her a Lily for her birthday... she had forgotten it was her birthday and she said she broke down seeing that and knowing that her baby was okay...
I never understood what she went through, until my own husband deployed away from me the first time. It was SERIOUSLY harder for me as the person waiting, than it was when I was the one deployed. Never knowing.. not hearing.. only hearing the news and knowing they didn't really care if Kin had been informed or not... what if this blast happened and the unit hadn't contacted me, yet?? All these questions going through our heads...
That takes a whole lot of strength.. And as both a veteran and a dependant.. I thank the families that have the strength to support our Armed Forces and endure the sacrifice that both the Veteran and the families have to endure.
Thank you.
I got this email in March. I was talking to a buddy from SAIC this afternoon who is over here with us (retired sub captain). He was telling me about a friend of his that had a similar experience, only he was killed.
Oh how I counted our blessings!
Gee does that sound familiar!
Just a thought here for those of us who have kids (SF or not) in harms way. How about a thread or an area where we can post our frustrations? I know Dennisw mentioned something about this and I think it's a great idea.
I know that today has been a really bad day for me as my son was involved in an IED attack. He was ejected from his Hummer and the three others got hammered by the blast. I ran the gauntlet of emotions from downright fear to being madder than hell. Took it out on paper targets at the range today - about 400 rounds worth. Felt better as I imagined some of my 'favorite' people as targets.
Can't do this too often - 9mm isn't cheap and I don't load my
own.Stay safe.
BMT (RIP)
05-01-2007, 14:00
Our son's platoon was shot up by US gunship while exiting a chooper. Atleast 4 hit.
BMT
The Reaper
05-01-2007, 14:24
Our son's platoon was shot up by US gunship while exiting a chooper. Atleast 4 hit.
BMT
Now how the hell can that happen?:confused:
The Taliban got a lot of airmobility?
This really makes me angry.:mad:
I hope that your son is okay and that his platoon members recover quickly.
TR
This really makes me angry.:mad:
I hope that your son is okay and that his platoon members recover quickly.
TR
Same here, BMT. Prayers out, please keep us posted as you can.
BMT (RIP)
05-01-2007, 16:38
Guys are out of surgery and are stable.
:lifter
BMT
Good news BMT, may they heal quickly and fully.
CoLawman
05-01-2007, 20:45
Guys are out of surgery and are stable.
:lifter
BMT
Great news BMT! This one really stinks, as TR said,
Gunship on a chopper???
CoLawman
05-01-2007, 20:47
SOCOM, glad to hear the kid is fine.
Blustr...........waiting for the details that you are allowed to post. Come On!
Bad day all around. Matt's unit was hit with 107mm rockets. 5 WIA - one guy lost both legs.
There's no excuse for friendly fire incidents, especially when troops are unloading from a chopper.
I pray all who were wounded today make a full and speedy recovery. God bless them all!
Our son's platoon was shot up by US gunship while exiting a chooper
Am I misreading this? Son's platoon was shot by US gunship? How did that happen? While exiting chopper. Jeez Louise! Glad our guys are doing well.
I think of a gunship as an AC-130 and if only four got hit, it would be a miracle. I watched some AC-130's work out in VN a long time ago and it was the only time I felt sorry for who was on the receiving end.
Leozinho
05-01-2007, 22:50
Praying for a speedy recovery and safe return for all the soldiers mentioned in this thread.
I imagine the soldier that wrote the letter Dennis posted is young and was still amped up from his patrol. I am loath criticize anyone overseas, but that seems like the wrong way to correspond with your parents. If you need to vent and let someone know what you are going through, maybe your best buddy back home is a better pen pal. Letters like that would quite literally put my mother over the edge.
Hey dad, I just got back a little while ago. And I am beat to hell. But the trip went ok. We got in a couple more tics, and found an IED and some caches. ...
If you need to vent and let someone know what you are going through, maybe your best buddy back home is a better pen pal. Letters like that would quite literally put my mother over the edge.
I don't see it as venting, but more as a report. However, I can see how the communication from my son might seem kind of strange. However, in the book You Can Negotiate Anything by Cohen, he talks about never specifically saying what the ramifications of an adverse decision will be as the unknown is much scarier than the known. I tend to agree.
My wife doesn't want to know the details, just that her boy is okay. I on the other hand and always respecting OPSEC, want to know as long as they feel comfortable sharing.
When you ride a train, you go where it goes. In for a dime, in for a dollar.
Although we never say the words out loud, we know any communication could be the last one. That's the reality of this conflict and the lives of our loved ones who are intimately involved. If they want to talk about anything, I'm going be there. If I can't take the heat, then I don't deserve the title, Father.
Probably the scariest message is the one that ends with, Dad, pray for me as tomorrow we're going into a shit storm. Accordingly, I've learned to follow orders, and my God and I have spent some serious time together during the last year. Ultimately, they like us all, are literally in his hands, and I can live with that.
Leozinho
05-02-2007, 01:15
Dennis,
I didn't realize that was your son. For some reason I thought you were passing on letters that someone else had received.
If you can take it, you may prefer to know as much as possible about what he's going through. There's certainly that aspect. I only meant it would be too much for my mother.
Godspeed his return.
Although we never say the words out loud, we know any communication could be the last one. That's the reality of this conflict and the lives of our loved ones who are intimately involved. If they want to talk about anything, I'm going be there. If I can't take the heat, then I don't deserve the title, Father.
Well said.
From Leozinho: "...that seems like the wrong way to correspond with your parents. If you need to vent and let someone know what you are going through, maybe your best buddy back home is a better pen pal." My response is if not your Dad (who should be your best friend), who do you talk to?
Over the years, growing up, my son has heard of my experiences from Vietnam. When he was little, he used to say that when he grew up, he was going to become a Green Beret and he and his Dad would go fight a war together. At the time, it seemed kinda cute. Now, upon reflection, it's not funny worth a damn!
Matt's connection with his family is very tight. Even though his Mother and I are no longer married to each other, we still talk about our son and what we can do to help him get through this. After his first tour in Iraq, Matt came out West to visit me and over a couple beers at lunch, we talked for the first time as combat vets. He needed to talk with someone who's "walked the walk". I could see where he was having some difficulty with events that had taken place and I tried to explain how I dealt with those same emotions.
I get a phone call from him in the medical facility telling me he's OK, that they had a close one. Another time he tells his Mom about the dud mortar round that landed next to him and rolled under a hummer. He tells me the same story, only that he heard the rattle if the incomming round, the explosion, dust and debris everywhere, and he kept on moving towards his hummer to move it. It wasn't until one of the guys showed him a picture of him running by the vehicle as the round goes off that he realized how close it had been.
As much as I would like to NOT know those details, I NEED to know them so I can better be there for my boy. That's what parenting is all about, at least for Dad's.
Would I want to be over there to help him? If I thought I could make a difference, I'd be there in a heartbeat! You hurt my boy and there's no place in Heaven or Hell where you could hide. If you want to meet Allah in paradise, let me show you the way!
Hopefully this is an ok place to post this, if not I'll shut my trap.
I just got a call from my husband's father asking me why his son was doing this "Special Forces thing." By way of explanation - my family is VERY military-minded and my father is extraordinarily supportive of my husband attending every graduation and promotion he can manage. My husband's family, while wonderful in their own special way, isn't so much loving the whole Army thing. Two of their four sons are CPTs, so you'd think they'd be better at this by now. They've really improved over the years but basically they just struggle.
I was sort of flummoxed at the question and tried my best to explain why it is that this really is an awesome thing. Clearly I didn't get through to him because his follow-up question was - "Is he going to get paid more or be promoted faster?" It sort of went down hill from there. I went to the whole training/education thing thinking that might help a little... The only thing really on his mind was whether or not I could stop him or in the alternative if my husband was doing this because we were having marital difficulties. Nice. He was finally placated when I told him he still had to get through SFAS and that was going to be very difficult so none of this was a done deal. I hate thinking my husband now has his family rooting against him.
My questions for the parents of SF soldiers are this:
1. How did you come to grips with the decision of your child? I'm especially interested in this if you weren't especially thrilled with it to begin with.
2. Advice? Things I can have his parents read? His dad especially will do his homework if I give him the materials.
Thanks in advance.
And BTW - I hope everyone's child comes through these things ok. I can barely read these stories, my coping mechanisms start crumbling.
The Reaper
05-02-2007, 14:44
Shar:
1. There has been a lot posted on this, you might search for some of the other discussions.
2. You might let your husband deal with his parents, but if you are curious, I would just tell you that IMHO, your husband's goal is not to be promoted faster or earn more money (he should get jump pay and language pay, but that is not the issue). It would appear to me that he has chosen to try himself against the best and, if selected to train to serve with the very best, most professional soldiers in the business. He will be where he can make a much greater difference than he could in almost any other branch. The third-string players in the NFL could easily be starting on a semi-pro team, but that is not as rewarding as competing with the best at the higher level.
Hope that answers the mail. I am sorry to hear that your in-laws are so selfish and mistrusting as to try and lay a non-existent burden on you for your husband's admirable goal and determination.
Good luck and take care.
TR
I'm reading through a bunch of stuff now from previous discussions which I should have done before but I was ticked and vented.
His dad called me specifically when he knew my husband wasn't around so he could corner me - I'll certainly be turning this over to the son to deal with his father, but the fact is that while my husband is gone training and deployed I am the interface so I get the pleasure of handling them quite regularly.
I did want to clarify one thing from my post. The promotions and pay are absolutely the LAST things on our priority list. When his dad brought this up I knew the conversation was devolving into an area that wasn't productive.
Thanks for the responses and PMs. I'll just sit and simmer for awhile now, or maybe I'll got take the kids out for a run. :p