Sdiver
01-22-2007, 16:24
Q: What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
A: Juan on Juan
Q: What is a Yankee?
A: The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
Q: What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
A: The position of the dirt bag
Q: Why is divorce so expensive?
A: Because it's worth it.
Q: What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
A: Doughnuts
Q: Why is air a lot like sex?
A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
A: A golden retriever.
Q: What do attorneys use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
A: 10 years and 45 lbs
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
A: 45 minutes
Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Q: Why do men want to marry virgins?
A: They can't stand criticism.
Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring,
and good-looking?
A: Because those men already have boyfriends.
Q: What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A: After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
driving.
Q: Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
A: Because they have cotton balls.
Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A: A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: "Are you sure it's mine?"
Q: Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
A: Mace will do that to you.
Q: Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
A: Everyone has the same DNA.
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
Q: Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only
on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A: Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Q: Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A: To A different bar.
Q: Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blond baby?
A: They named him "Sum Ting Wong".
Q: What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A: A speech impediment.
Q: What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
A: They're hiring.
Q: What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A: A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the
cage along with... "a recipe".
Q: How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
A: Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
Q: What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A: A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time ..."
-A southern fairytale begins....."Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit.
Q: Why is there no Disneyland in China?
A: No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
A: Juan on Juan
Q: What is a Yankee?
A: The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
Q: What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
A: The position of the dirt bag
Q: Why is divorce so expensive?
A: Because it's worth it.
Q: What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
A: Doughnuts
Q: Why is air a lot like sex?
A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
A: A golden retriever.
Q: What do attorneys use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
A: 10 years and 45 lbs
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
A: 45 minutes
Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Q: Why do men want to marry virgins?
A: They can't stand criticism.
Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring,
and good-looking?
A: Because those men already have boyfriends.
Q: What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A: After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
driving.
Q: Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
A: Because they have cotton balls.
Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A: A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: "Are you sure it's mine?"
Q: Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
A: Mace will do that to you.
Q: Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
A: Everyone has the same DNA.
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
Q: Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only
on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A: Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Q: Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A: To A different bar.
Q: Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blond baby?
A: They named him "Sum Ting Wong".
Q: What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A: A speech impediment.
Q: What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
A: They're hiring.
Q: What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A: A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the
cage along with... "a recipe".
Q: How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
A: Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
Q: What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A: A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time ..."
-A southern fairytale begins....."Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit.
Q: Why is there no Disneyland in China?
A: No one's tall enough to go on the good rides