Quick Thinker

[NousDefionsDoc]

A man walked into the produce section of this local supermarket and
asked to buy a half head of lettuce.



The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole
heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager
about the matter.



Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager: "Some

asshole wants to buy a half head of lettuce." As he finished his
sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, and he
quickly added, "And this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other
half."



The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.



Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you
got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think
on their feet here. Where are you from, son?"



"Philly, sir" the boy replied.



"Well, why did you leave Philly?" the manager asked.



The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing up there but whores and football
players!"



"Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Philly ."



"No shit?" replied the boy. "What position did she play?"

[lksteve]

"Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Philly ."

"No shit?" replied the boy. "What position did she play?"the Eagles are done for the year...let it go...:D

[bandycpa]

Oh no, keep going! After seeing the picture link posted on the NFL thread and the above-mentioned Philly joke, I'm curious to see what's next. This is actually quite fun.

Who knew hatred could foster such entertainment? :D

Bandy

[NousDefionsDoc]

the Eagles are done for the year...let it go...:D
When I got it, it was Pittsburgh, but I like Cower, so I changed it.;)

[The Reaper]

When I got it, it was Pittsburgh, but I like Cower, so I changed it.;)

Good man, he was an acquaintance of mine in college.

TR

[Five-O]

The Birds could have used thats guys wife to stop Mcallister saturday night..... :(

[vsvo]

LMAO! I'm going to send this to my brother-in-law's wife, a Philly girl stuck in a boring Northern Virginia suburb. She just had a baby so she won't kick my ass. Maybe.

There have been rumblings around here that The Boy Blunder will go after Cowher after Coach Joe hangs it up. It would be a monster contract for him.

[NousDefionsDoc]

To the Redskins? Well that's just freakin' GREAT! just what Dallas needs, HIM in the NFC East!

Now watch, NY will get some guru to square away Li'L Manning and and the Eagles with start with Garcia next year!

Dallas will resign Parcells and TO and make Romo the punter as well as QB.

JUST GREAT!

GO SAINTS!
GO TEXANS!

[vsvo]

LOL. It's just a rumor, every big name gets tossed out once or twice. We got nothing better to do since the Redskins are, um, no longer playing this season.

Since you are a Cowboys fan, here is my Cowboys story.

Several years ago, I was working on a project in Dallas. We usually flew home on Thursday, but one week the client scheduled a meeting for Friday which required one of us to be present. Being low man on the totem pole, I was granted the pleasure of staying an extra day. So one fine summer Thursday evening I drove the guys to the airport. On the way back, I decided to stop somewhere to grab a cheeseburger, beer and cigar before heading back to the hotel. I pulled into the Champps up on Beltline, which was down the street from our hotel.

The joint was packed and hopping. Unbeknownst to me, it was Karaoke Night, and a radio station was offering cash for the winner. People were pounding drinks, I don’t whether to build the courage to get up and sing, or prepare to hear all the contestants. Everywhere I looked, I saw women with big hair and equally big bosoms strongly suggesting the benefit of aftermarket enhancements. I found a place at the bar and ordered my burger and beer. After I finished eating, I pulled out a Fuente and began to light it. A tall, athletic, handsome, well-dressed black guy walks up next to me. He asked me what I was smoking as he proceeded to light his own cigar. As we chatted about the cigars, I stuck out my hand, introduced myself, and waited for him to introduce himself. An awkward silence hung in the air. Once his buddy realized I didn’t know who this dude was, his eyes bulged wide and he blurted, “That’s Drew Pearson!” I shook Pearson’s hand, and said by way of apology, “Sorry, I’m from DC and I’m a ‘Skins fan.”

Pearson scrunched up his face and sneered, “F*CK the Redskins!”

I laughed, just because he was so serious. We smoked and chatted for a couple of minutes. He stuck out his hand, said goodbye, and pushed away from the bar. The distance from the bar to the front door was probably no more than 30-40 feet. It took Pearson about 30 minutes to cover that distance. It appeared that every woman with big hair and equally big bosom intercepted him, gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Many smoothly slipped him scraps of paper, which he just as smoothly placed in his jacket pocket. It was fascinating watching the slow-moving throng. I finished my cigar and left before finding out who won the $1,000 first place prize.

[Goggles Pizano]

Yeah, keep it coming fellas. UGH, another season down the toilet. :mad: At least we beat Dallas-twice BWWAAAHHHAAAA! NDD maybe Parcells can buy one of Fred Belitnikoff's socks for Romo to wear next year! :D

Let's see Washington-two wins, check. Dallas, two wins, check. New York football Giants, well one win but we'll take the playoff "W" thanks.

Yup, HOW 'BOUT THEM COWBOYS???? :boohoo

[spectre919]

"Hail to the......." :munchin

[kachingchingpow]

Hail VIC-TO-REEE,
braves on the warpath...

I think you could've won the $1000 by going up on stage and just hollaring F*CK the Redskins!!!

Cool story. I met Emmit Smith on an elevator at a company I worked at. We were going public, and he was getting in on the IPO. Heck of a lot smaller than he looked on TV

Every year at our HS our faculty would play the Redskins in a charity basketball game after the season was over. I was on the color guard in ROTC, and sat next to Art Monk for the entire game... this was the year that we went to Super Bowl 17 (83) and was benched due to an injury. They still did the game even though they just came off winning the big-show.

Big 'skins fan here as well. I spent a good bit of my life in Laurel.