family man

[deepdvr71]

I am 35, married with 4 kids and it took me 4 yrs and a letter to my congressman to finally come active duty. I was told I couldnt come back in by several different recruiters because I had too many dependents. I was in the navy and got out in 93. I finally wrote my congressman and it was followed up by a phone call from a recruiter. Iam now a 21B combat engineer with 18th eng serving in Iraq. My goal and life long dream is to go to selection. My wife and myself have went to the sf briefing and we were told nothing but what she wanted to hear. It all sounded really good to her. It all sounded too good to be true to her. Is there a way she can talk to another sf wife that has children also instead of a sf recruiter. This is what i want more than anything but I want her to know what we are getting into since the military is going to be my career. Iam currently an E-4 and i just reuped till 2012. Any assistance would be great. I hope this is the right spot to post this. I appologize if not.

[The Reaper]

You might do some searching here, and some more reading.

Spouses' feelings about SF have been covered before.

Repeatedly.

TR

[Z731]

I wish I could have your wife talk to my first wife 20 years ago when I joined. She thought it was "neat". You don't want her to talk to my 3rd wife who "barely tolerates" what I do. All three of my wives liked it at first. The first two couldn't take it after a while. The one I got now doesn't like it. Not good news for you or me.

BOTTOM LINE: Do what you need to do or you will never forgive yourself. If I had it to over again I would go to the Q-Course.

Z

[Ret10Echo]

My wife hung in there all the way through. She is very independant so she kept things going during those long stretches. Coming back from trips can be rough. It isn't easy but it can be done.
A tight Team that hangs out together can make deployments easier on the spouses and kids. Getting involved with the family support group seemed to be a big help too.

[SouthernDZ]

I wish I could have your wife talk to my first wife 20 years ago when I joined. She thought it was "neat". You don't want her to talk to my 3rd wife who "barely tolerates" what I do. All three of my wives liked it at first. The first two couldn't take it after a while. The one I got now doesn't like it. Not good news for you or me.

BOTTOM LINE: Do what you need to do or you will never forgive yourself. If I had it to over again I would go to the Q-Course.

Z

My first wife hung with me through my Ranger years, she left me when I decided to join SF. Sometimes I wish I knew where she was so I could get my stuff back.

My present wife and I have been happy for 21 years this coming July. She's still active duty. We were stationed at different locations 3 times; stationed together 3 times. It's not hyperbole to tell you that even when we were stationed together, I spent most of the time away.

Believe me when I say, it's not just a job or MOS - it's a lifestyle, sometimes a selfish one. It takes a strong independent wife to put up with it. I have no regrets, it's been quite a ride. Good luck buddy.

[CPTAUSRET]

As an Aviator my path diverged slightly from those who have thus far given advice, but I lost an 18 year marriage because I was gone 11 of those 18 years!