BMT (RIP)
09-04-2006, 05:03
Why is the country in bad shape?
This explains it....
A Washington, DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of why
our
country is in trouble!
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so
that
her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to
Capetown.
I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport
information, then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to
make
you
look stupid, but
Capetown is in Massachusetts," Without trying to make her look
stupid,
I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is
in
Africa,"
Her response - click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida
package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in
Orlando.
He
said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain
that's
not
possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He
replied,
"Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin
state!"
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible
to
see
England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look
so
close
on the map."
5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could
rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed
he
had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he
wanted
to
rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we
will
need a car to drive between gates to save time."
6. An Illinois
Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know
how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am
and
got to Chicago at 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an hour
ahead
of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time
zones.
Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your
physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage
belongs
to
whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I
checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that
said
(FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!" After
putting
her
on hold for a minute while I looked into it (I was laughing) I
came
back
and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT), and the
airline
was
just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to
Hawaii.
After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be
cheaper
to
fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii?"
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked,
"How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly
he
meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823,
but
none of these planes have numbers on them."
10. A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola,
Florida.
Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I
asked if
she
meant fly to Pensacola, Fl. on a commuter plane. She said,
"Yeah,
whatever, smarty!"
11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents
he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion
about
passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't.
I've
been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I
double
checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told
him
this
he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they
have
accepted my American Express!"
12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want
to
go
from Chicago to Rhino, New York." I was at a loss for words.
Finally,
I
said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" Yes, what
flights
do
you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, I came back
with,
"I'm
sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country
and
can't
find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly!
Everyone
knows where it is. Check your map! So I scoured a map of the
state
of
New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"
The
reply? "Whatever! I knew it was a big animal."
Whatever your party affiliation, now you know why our government is
in
the shape that it's in!
This explains it....
A Washington, DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of why
our
country is in trouble!
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so
that
her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to
Capetown.
I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport
information, then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to
make
you
look stupid, but
Capetown is in Massachusetts," Without trying to make her look
stupid,
I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is
in
Africa,"
Her response - click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida
package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in
Orlando.
He
said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain
that's
not
possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He
replied,
"Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin
state!"
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible
to
see
England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look
so
close
on the map."
5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could
rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed
he
had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he
wanted
to
rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we
will
need a car to drive between gates to save time."
6. An Illinois
Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know
how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am
and
got to Chicago at 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an hour
ahead
of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time
zones.
Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your
physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage
belongs
to
whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I
checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that
said
(FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!" After
putting
her
on hold for a minute while I looked into it (I was laughing) I
came
back
and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT), and the
airline
was
just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to
Hawaii.
After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be
cheaper
to
fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii?"
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked,
"How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly
he
meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823,
but
none of these planes have numbers on them."
10. A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola,
Florida.
Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I
asked if
she
meant fly to Pensacola, Fl. on a commuter plane. She said,
"Yeah,
whatever, smarty!"
11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents
he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion
about
passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't.
I've
been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I
double
checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told
him
this
he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they
have
accepted my American Express!"
12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want
to
go
from Chicago to Rhino, New York." I was at a loss for words.
Finally,
I
said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" Yes, what
flights
do
you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, I came back
with,
"I'm
sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country
and
can't
find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly!
Everyone
knows where it is. Check your map! So I scoured a map of the
state
of
New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"
The
reply? "Whatever! I knew it was a big animal."
Whatever your party affiliation, now you know why our government is
in
the shape that it's in!