don't be a victim of a salesman

[frostfire]

SALESMAN of the YEAR


An Indian moves to Montreal and goes to a big department store looking for a job.

Manager: "Do you have any sales experience?"

Indian: "Yeah, I was a salesman back home".

Well, the manager liked the young man, so he gave him the job.

Manager: "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you
did, but let me give you a bit of advice. If a customer comes looking,
say, for toothpaste, you might suggest for him a toothbrush, or shaving
cream, etc. You get the idea?"

Indian: "Of course"

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the manager came down.

Manager: "How many sales did you make today?

Indian: "One"

Manager: "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales/day! How much was
the sale for?"

Indian: "$101, 237.64."

Manager: "WHAT?? $101,237.64? What did you sell him?!"

Indian: "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook.
Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then
I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down at the coast, so
I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department,
and I sold him that twin engine 'Chris Craft'. Then he said he didn't think his Honda
Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold
him that 4X4 Pajero."

Manager: "You mean, a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a
boat and a truck??!!!"

Indian: "No, no, no, he came in here to buy a box of 'Kotex' for his wife and I said,
'Well, since your weekend's already screwed up you might as well go fishing!' "

The manager fainted...

[HOLLiS]

makes perfectly good sense to me. Fishing is a good way to spend a nice quite day.

[Bravo1-3]

Manager: "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did, but let me give you a bit of advice. If a customer comes looking, say, for toothpaste, you might suggest for him a toothbrush, or shaving cream, etc. You get the idea?"

And in that same spirit:

A man applies for a job as a demonstration salesman with the Acme Toothbrush Company. His boss tells him "It's going to take you about a week to get the hang of it, but after that, you're going to be held to the same quotas we hold everyone accountable for."

The salesman asks "What's the quota?"
The manager says "You have to average 100 toothbrushes per day."

On Monday the new salesman returns to his office with his receipts.
"How many did you sell today?" the manager asks.
"I sold three" the dejected salesman replies.
"Don't worry, it's your first day. You'll get the hang of it."

On Tuesday he returns to the office, and is asked the same question.
"I sold 15 toothbrushes today"
"Well, that's better than 3. You'll get the hang of it."

Each day his numbers increase slightly, however it is obvious by Friday that he will not make his quota on Monday at his current rate of growth. The sales manager sits him down in the office and says:
"Listen kid, I like you. But if you don't sell 100 toothbrushes on Monday, you're not going to make it here."
"Don't worry boss. I can do this" he replies.

On Monday afternoon, the salesman returns to the office. By his smile, the manager knows that the salesman probably made his quota.
"How many did you sell?" he asks

"I sold... umm... 144,273 toothbrushes today, and I'll probably sell twice that many tomorrow now that I have the hang of it."

"One hundre... WOW! THAT'S AN ALL-TIME RECORD! AND YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING TO SELL TWICE THAT NUMBER TOMORROW?! HOW'D YOU DO IT?"

"Oh, it wasn't that hard. I went to Grand Central Station and set up a table with a sign that said "Free Chip and Dip Samples". They'd come up and grab a chip, scoop up some dip, and shove it in their mouth."

The manager interrupts "And then they'd buy a toothbrush?"

"Well, no. See, they'd get a taste of it, and spit it out and yell 'THAT TASTES LIKE SHIT! and I'd say 'It is... you wanna buy a toothbrush?'