Sam was out shopping in the mall when he meets his friend Abe outside the jewelers. Sam notices that Abe has a small gift-wrapped box in his hand.
"So what have you just purchased Abe?" Sam asks.
"Well, now that you've asked," replies Abe, "it's my wife's birthday tomorrow and when I asked her this morning what she wanted for her birthday she said, 'Oh, I don't know, dear, just give me something with a lot of diamonds in it.'"
"So what did you get her?" Sam asks.
Abe replies, smiling, "I bought her a deck of cards."
Warrior-Mentor
04-17-2006, 11:46
Weak...;) how about trying again?
yeah that was kinda week...I got it in an email at it was just to easy to cut-n-paste! So give me some feedback on this one!
You're just like Frank
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A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Frank every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."!
Cabbie: "Not Frank. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special"
Cabbie: "There's more"......."He had a memory like a computer. He could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out."
Passenger: "Wow, some guy then"
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams, not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them."
"Passenger: "Mmm, there's not many like him around."
Cabbie: "And he knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good and never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank."
Passenger: "Then ! how do you know so much about him?"
Cabbie: "I married his f*cking widow."
Or how about this one:
Greeks vs Italians
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A Greek and an Italian were arguing over who had the superior culture. The Greek said, "We have the Parthenon."
Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replied, "We have the Coliseum."
The Greek retorted, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics."
The Italian, nodding in agreement, said, "But we built the Roman Empire."
And so on and on until the Greek came up with what he thought would end the discussion. With a flourish of finality, he said, "We invented sex."
The Italian replied, "That's true, but it was Italians who introduced it to women."
I get to see this mentality everyday with the Italian dudes hittin' on my wife!
Warrior-Mentor
04-17-2006, 14:05
Good for a smile!
Thanks :)